What to do when your date doesn't show up

[rawkSTAR]

Ok keep waiting...

 

But if you call him all this stress will be gone. Then you can either go out with him or call up another friend and have a good time. It's a win win situation.

 

true...so true

[hosswhispra]

I know that you shouldn't have any expectations with dating........but..........

 

Am I expecting too much to expect a man with a plan? In other words, is it too much in this modern dating world to expect that when someone asks me out they will pick a definite time and day? For example 7:30 pm on Saturday we're going out????

 

I don't care if it's 'too much' to have that expectation. But that's what I would want and I wouldn't settle for anything less.

[rawkSTAR]

i honestly thought he would have called me.i told him i would be mad if he stood me up.. lol i guess he wants me to go crazy oh him..

[hosswhispra]

How do you know this guy? Is he someone that you see regularly on a daily basis (school, work?)

[Kalika]

Hun no offense but if you can't even pick up a phone to call him, why should you be able to expect him to pick up a phone to call you??

Definitely hoss is right, the plans should have been more defined but either way, sitting here agonizing about him not calling you is rather pointless, wouldn't you say?

[hosswhispra]

Hun no offense but if you can't even pick up a phone to call him, why should you be able to expect him to pick up a phone to call you??

 

I don't think rawkSTAR should call him. The pounding heart etc. is her gut telling her something. She shouldn't ignore it. What I find interesting is that when she spoke with him last she told him that she hoped he wouldn't stand her up. That's extremely interesting to me. Something was troubling her subconsciously to say something like that. That's something us girls do not say when we feel confident that a guy is going to be reliable. Listen to your gut---it has validity.

[Weeblie]

I'm guessing he must've called....

 

 

But,

I think Hosswhispra brought up a lot of good points. He should've called earlier and he should've had a plan. I'll call you Saturday night is annoyingly vague and inconsiderate. But...I think she was unclear about what she wanted. It would've been ideal if she had said give me a call at X time or even better said what she wanted to do.

 

And I completely agree with listening to your gut. But I wonder if this was a gut feeling or leftover fear from past disappointments? I know that I've messed up a couple of opportunities because I thought my gut was telling me something when really I was being overly cautious. But I guess I might be seeing too much of myself in this situation...

 

I still think she should call him, just because waiting around sucks. She won't look desperate if she can play it off like she wasn't waiting around for him. My friend would usually take a situation like this and make it into a girl's night and then call the guy and invite him.

[Weeblie]

Is he the same guy that cancelled on you to fix his friend's car?

Since he didn't call and he didn't respond to your text... I think it's safe to assume that your weekend is free. I also think it's really rude that he sent you an email saying that he was extremely busy.

 

Give him his space. If he calls you this weekend...I'd ignore him. What a douche.

[Weeblie]

Did you ever say anything to him about that car situation? I saw that there were some great suggestions about what to do, but I didn't see a response from you. I don't think you should bother with this guy anymore, but if you do...you should make it clear that you don't have time for this flakeyness. In fact don't put up with it from any other guy period.

[annie24]

i have been in this situation and it sucks!!! This is what you do from now on.... if you he says, "we should hang out on saturday sometime. I'll give you a call." you say, "let's make plans right now, I would hate to miss your call!" pick a time and place right then and there.

 

if you don't have a time and place, you don't have a date. sorry, that's how it goes. don't let things become too casual, otherwise, you are sitting by the phone on saturday night wondering if you have plans or not.

 

I think you should have called this afternoon and been like, "what's the plan?"

 

I know you didn't want to call him because you didn't want to sound needy, but don't you think it makes a woman sound even MORE needy if she is sitting by the phone waiting for his call? As opposed to the woman who calls him and says, "Hey - are we still on for tonight? because my best friend just called me up, wants to get dinner, so I just want to know what I am doing tonight."

[annie24]

I hate to be rude, but just because he seemed into you at first doesn't mean that he is still into you. it's really not so hard to call someone and say hi. when a guy tells you that he will be very busy with work and not to get mad if you don't hear from him, he is kind of letting you down gently. I had a guy do that to me too, he had a rational excuse. he really WAS busy with school. but that was our last date.

 

if a guy likes you, he'll make time to be with you. simple as that. I am now dating another super busy guy, but he never makes me feel like he doesn't have time for me. he makes the time. and if he stops making the time in the future, I will know that's the beginning of the end....

[orgasmictofu]

Call and say "so what's the plan?".

[annie24]

your exact issue is the reason I came to enotalone in the first place. my bf was acting distant and then he told me that he was getting really busy.

 

 

 

here is my first post on enotalone. The others told me to just see what happened. so, I did. we wound up breaking up.

 

did your boyfriend tell you how long his "busy period" was going to be? I mean, you can just chill and wait until whatever is keeping him busy goes away and if he still doesn't have time for you, maybe it is best to walk....

 

(((HUGS)))

[annie24]

there are two ways to look at that - either he is lying to you and is "just not that into you." Or maybe he really IS that busy and CAN'T find 3 minutes for a phone call. Either way, do you want to stay in that situation? I mean, if a guy doesn't have time for a 3 minutes phone call, he is not boyfriend material.

 

I think you should let your gut be your guide. I mean, you can wait for his busy period to pass for a while, but if it goes on, maybe it's just time to find a new boyfriend. one that can call you and say hi on sundays....

[annie24]

Hm. I am thinking you should start a new thread so we do not hijack the original poster's thread! If you want to get opinions as to whether to send him that e-mail or not. If you can ask him over the phone, I think that might be better. because then you will just ask him, and he can't pretend he didn't get the e-mail. I think being up front and saying, "dude, what's going on?" is a good thing. I wish I had done more of that myself in the past.