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[the_dude007]

Ok....its been over a year and a half since I visited this forum....and my return shows me that the time has revealed nothing new - that there are literally hundreds of people looking for the simple answer - hoping that their situation will work out if they just do the right thing or use NC - to get that person back.

 

So all I wanted to say to you all is this...use this forum to recognize patterns. If you think your situation is unique - it isn't. Think your break up was under extenuating circumstances - I'm guessing they weren't.

 

If you stick to this forum long enough, you'll see patterns that emerge, and realize soon enough that there are no easy answers, and no strategies to bring that person back. The only thing that resonates and is consistent, is that most people that practice no contact with their ex, end up moving on and realizing that their break-up was not as traumatic as they first thought. Perspective is a huge thing, so take yourself out of your shoes and realize that by leaning hard on the one who you thought your life was about was likely not the person you want to be with.

 

Be strong, and move along as best you can. The universe has a funny way of putting events into motion to bring the right people together, so try your best to really think about the type of person you want to be with, and what attributes they possess. And work towards becoming the person you want to be. Sometimes by knowing what you want to be and who you want to be with, the world works in strange ways to bring that all together.

 

I was a enotaloner for about three months, looking to the base to find an answer. And thank god I didn't get it. That ex was so bad. And the minute I moved on I met someone who was fantastic - and when I least expected to. Now, it didn't work out, but those are my issues, and I know what I did to make that relationship not work. So.....the point of my rant:

 

The more you try to analyze what you did - the more you drive them away. The more you question the breakup, the more you do to drive them away. Don'd do that to yourself - and trust me by visiting this site and this section you are doing exactly that. So be strong!!! Move on. And be the person you want to be. If you do that, good things happen. I know I'm not SuperDave 71. But trust me, its in your best interest to move on to the best of your abilities and take care of what you can control. Which is usually you.

 

God speed kids. Good luck.

[robowarrior]

I think your perspective is wrong , there definitly are ways to salvage some relationships, if there weren't any strategies, then people wouldn't need bothering to come here to enotalone in the first place.

 

I never was a great fan off NC ing, i think its better to replace the ex with a new love. I personally think its good to always love that person, but to come at the realisation that your relationship has come to a dead end, and that you have to turn around your car and head back to the highway of life and find another road to follow. Basically the NC ing comes in effect automatically if you put a dot behind the relationship that you had with your ex.