Does she just want sex?

[Steve_B]

Hello, i have been hooking up with this girl for a couple of weeks in bars and clubs. I like her a lot, we have so much in common but for some reason i think she just wants a shag. This is why:

 

Whenever she sends a text, its always got something dirty or a sexualy hint e.g. "Hi, i was just thinking about you working out getting all hot and sweaty, think i may have to go for a `special` shower!"

 

Not that this message isnt nice to receive its just EVERY message is like this... the only non sexual message she has sent is "I enjoyed last night too! So yeah i think seeing you more should deffinatley be happenin!"

 

We havn't done anything sexualy yet, just kissed. She has invited me round her house on the weekend but to be honest becasue i like her loads i dont really want to get hurt incase we have sex and then she does a runner or something... Her borther tells me she REALLY likes me but he was drunk. Is there anyway i can find out what shes looking for without actually asking her?

 

Shes 27 and i'm 19 - She told my friend she likes younger men because of the stamina... am i just being paranoid as it is early on?

 

what to do, what to do....

[Kalika]

If you're looking for a relationship, I'm really not sure this is where you want to be..

[itsallgrand]

Eeks!

 

If you are asking for opinions, yes, I do think she is looking to use you.

 

This isn't good at all. Frankly, I think this 'woman' needs a good smack to the head.

[Steve_B]

ok, this is why im querying it - she does all the sexy meassges etc but she also -

 

told me that we have loads in common, she said she wants to come round and see if i really have the buffy collection.

Talked about meeting parents in the past.

Showing an interest in my hobbies such as kung fu. And telling me loads about her hobbies, horse riding and singing.

[applepie]

I'm thinking the same as everyone else. She just wants to get you in the sack. Guys use the "lots in common" to get girls to sleep with them all the time. I guess it's the same thing.

 

I'd just tell her you like her and don't want it to be a one night stand. See what she says. If she says no, then at least you didn't lose any dignity.

[Steve_B]

bummer. Guess im back to square one, once again.

[rosie76]

At least you've thought to work this out before getting too involved with her. You should be pleased with yourself for the insight.

[Steve_B]

Im going to tell her that im not looking for just sex. Gonna see what she says.

[EvaGina]

Tell her you like her for her, not just for hte sex, see what happens.

She might have just been hurt a lot in the past and be afraid to tell you she likes you, A LOT of men freak out when you try to tell them that you would like more than just bed-fun with them

[Northalius]

am i just being paranoid as it is early on?

 

To me, paranoia is basically: being overly cautious without reason behind it.

 

However, the things you've read, have good reason for being cautious, if you're concerned about being used for sex alone. Thus, no, you're not being paranoid.

 

I think she is wanting you for sex, at least much more so than a personal relationship, all-around.

 

Keep on your guard! Or just come clean and ask her about what she's looking for in a relationship at the moment.

[mike_chppr]

Whoa, the age gap, are you sure your not talking about your HS teacher here. Man, she isn't getting any from her own age bracket catagory and hoping to pounce you for a little internal massage by preying on your hormones.

 

I don't think it would be healthy, it would be a shag, but she would definitly run at any sign of clinginess. Also, if she is that easy, she may have something that she isn't telling you about. Request a doctors clean bill of health before offering the massage.

 

I think she is using you to get what she can't successfully do on her own with people in her age bracket that know better.

[Steve_B]

she was seeing a guy for about a month who was about my age. The thing that i don't understand is. She shows huge interest in what i do and has been telling her friends about me and her brother gave me the old speech "if you mess her about i'll kick your * * *" y'know?

 

I'm just going to come clean and ask if she just wants a shag. No point getting hurt again. You never know she might just be a really horny person or just be really turned on by me (lol..), just dont want to miss out on a good thing if you know what i mean.

[itsallgrand]

Steve,

 

Hey. Well I really do think your first instincts were dead on.

 

The reason I said "EEPS" is that I see a real possibility for you to get hurt. And you seem like a nice guy.

 

Follow your head and heart on this one, not your 'you know what'.

 

I'm 27 myself. Maybe that is why I feel so strongly here. It makes sense that you are flattered by her attentions and all that, and she might even be a nice person all-in-all. But her head is WAY OFF when it comes to this. She is being a fool.

 

It's up to you what you do. Just telling you how I see it. If you were a friend of mine - and I have a few male friends your age - and they asked my opinion, this is what i'd tell em. (in cruder terms than I can on this forum probably)

 

She is looking for attention and isn't thinking of the best for you. She isn't the kind of chick to get tangled with.

 

take care.

[Steve_B]

Just been on the phone to her for about 2 hours we talked about loads of stuff, we got on the subject of Ex partners, she sounded pretty pleased when i said i dont do one night stands - she asked me to come round her house on the weekend and politely asked me if it was too soon to meet her mum etc..

 

i sort of hinted to her what she is looknig for like just sex or a realtionship, she replies saying "if i like the person then i have no proplem in ahving a realtionship" She has had a 7 year relatinoship and a few 1 year relationships, i ask her friends what shes like and they say shes great and i got nothing to worry about...

 

I know most of you are still thinking im going to get played, but theres something in the back of my mind saying i have to find out otherwise i'll miss my chance.

[cranbers]

I have had a few girls like this. My guess is this girl is so used to playing that game with guys that she is now the player. She probably likes you and would like to get you to like her by using sex as the get to know you tool. I would say take it slow, if it feels right do it up. However, just be prepared to not be taken seriously as she is a lot older and probably likes that. She feels in control and is used to not being so. So, I would say let her show you some things, have fun and just think of it as fun. If you want more, wait for her to make the move. I remember when I was 18 a 27 year old i worked with liked me alot. I really liked her I mean, it was so weird. We never did anything as much as I would of liked to. But she couldn't take me seriously. I was just too young and she was too old. It was a missed oportunity. But I honestly don't know what I would of done. Intimidated was the word for it.