Help need advice on friend's relationship...

[Babetears]

Here goes the story... I met this guy from a friend... we became very good friend.... but i started to like him... he found out i was talking to one of his friend so he tell me to give his friend a chance... but i like him instead.... i gave his friend a chance but i realize that i don't like him...

 

we talk on the phone a lot and when he is in town he would always call me up to hang out. i think he know i like him... i think he like me too.. but something happen ... so we are not together... and never will.. so what should i do...

 

i told him i don't want to talk to him that much cause i don't want to be too attach to him.. he said what do i mean by that... i thought he would know when i say that... but i guess he didn't... and i told him i don't want to hang out that much with him... cause his brothers and sister in law is asking him what's going on with me and him... but he told them we're just friends... i have friends that ask me what's going on between us too... ofcourse i have to tell them we're just friends... cause that's what we are...

 

did i do the right thing by saying i don't want to talk to him or hang out with him that much??? i don't want to say that to him... but i have no choice... the more i talk to him and hang out with him... the more i will like him... and the more i will get hurt... cause i know i will never be with him....

 

Tell me what i should do.... thanks...

[Jeffrey2095]

Hello babetears,

 

Why is it that you will never be together? If he likes you, and you like him??

 

It sounds like a friendship would be too painful for you, so I would try and more or less distance myself, (in a nice way) and try and move on.

 

Good luck

[Babetears]

Because I gave his friend a chance and things happen... so i guess i did the right thing by saying we shouldn't hang out or talk on the phone too much...

[dmmackey91]

I want to tell you that I've been there and done that...Twice. I have to say that there is no generic advice to give to anyone in this situation. I will tell you about my situations.

I have always been the best friend--never the girlfriend. I found a guy that I really clicked well with. We became best friends and I helped him through some hard times with his girlfriend and all of his other problems. I fell hard for him way before there was anything between us. It sucked. He spent nights crying on the phone to me about his girlfriend and I spent nights crying by myself about him. Finally we dated. It ruined our friendship. We speak every now and then but it is definitely not what it was before I pushed him into a relationship.

The second instance is one I am currently in. I love him with all of my heart and he loves me but it started out as friendship. I helped him through his breakups too...it was hard but it has certainly paid off. We are looking at buying a house together and I've never been happier.

Each situation is different and you have to weigh your decisions carefully. You can jeopardize your friendship with a relationship. You could lose the friendship by never talking to him again. Or you could just suck it up and stay friends. I think that the last is the absolute hardest choice, but to each his own. Remember life is about risk...

[Babetears]

i really don't know.... im hoping that if i push myself away from him... he would realize that he wants to be with me... or that he will miss me... i guess i am taking a risk there too.. that i know i might loose him as a friend... im just hoping i can do it... and not call him or hang out with him when he call...