Please help, I still love him, but does he love me

[Bamabelle]

Me and my guy have been together a year and a half. about six months into our relationship a girl moved here that wanted to be with him. He lied to me about many things and I caught him. Unlike her when she found out what was going on she would not talk to him. he called me and told me that he loved me and i took him back. I never regained trust...that girl became friends with his girlfriends and when she is around I think that maybe she will want him back and I was insecure and jealous. he said he would never be with her again...but I was always sceptical. now a year later, if I dont go out his friends go out and she is around sometimes. I get angry and think something is going on. he got mad and said I dont trust him...I tried for so long but i cant stand her being around. now he wants to take a break because he feels i dont trust him and he cant go on with me constantly reminding him of what he did. how can i move on when she is around. anyways, now he does not want to be with me becuase he says i will never get over it. now i miss him, but he does not want to get back together. he says he loves me, but he doesnt feel i will ever trust him. what do i do..wait for him..i do love him, but it is hurtful... is this his easy way of letting me go or does he really think time will heal our issues...i am becoming more resentful by the day.

[Dashel]

Let me say this. This guy still love you... But the prob is that you are too possesive. True love is base on trust. If you dont trust him at all, then there is no point going on the relationship. This guy come back to you because he know that you are the one for him and he had made a mistake. Trust take time and effort. But you never give him a chance. Think, if he doesnt love you, why is he still around with you and why wont he ask for break up. Now he really cant stand your behaviour and had ask for a break up. It is totally your own fault gal. Now ask your self. Do you want him back? There is still a chance you can get this guy back. But first your attitude must change. first of all, be his frend. then trust him. Try if you really love him. Dont bring up the topic about the other girl and dont bring up the past.

May god bless you

[Mar]

I have to agree that you kinda brought this on yourself. He came back and you took him back on the assumption that he learned his lesson and doesn't want to be with her. But you can't let go of the jealousy and distrust factor....what did you think was going to happen? No guy (or girl) wants to be constantly reminded of their mistakes. A relationship is about mistakes made and then worked out, with both sides getting over it. You haven't gotten over it, and if you truly want him back, you have to be fair to him and know yourself well enough that you can get over the jealousy thing. This girl is friends with his friends-too bad. If you have these feelings of resentment and distrust every time he goes out, you don't need to be with him until you can get over that. And if you can't get over it, you have to let him go.

[Amberfire]

Dearest Bamabelle,

You have to ask yourself this, love. Is this worth it? I deserve better than this. Why hold on to something that is not good for you? Guys yes I admit are basket cases sometimes but when you meet the one you're meant to be with who will treat you like gold, you'll know. Expect this to happen and it will love. Our thoughts and words are powerful, more than you'd know. MAR is correct to say that we bring it upon ourselves, we have no one to blame but ourselves for our actions.

Time will never heal actions unless you comunicate what those issues are.

Find peace dear. If he doesn't want to get back together then why beat a dead horse? You will find that one who will treat you like a Goddess love.

Keep expecting it and it will come. It may be hard to think that because we've all been taken for a ride so it's hard to expect it at first. What I learned is to write all the qualities you could possibly want in a guy and relationship. Mentally, spiritually, emotionally & physically. A relationship should be something you give and contribute to not take from. I'll leave you with this; Be the person you'd want to be with.

Be Well,

Amberfire

[Bamabelle]

For your replies. I guess I lost myself and became insecure. If I love him I realize now what a pain I've been. What do I do to get him back? Do I leave him alone and let the drama cool off or do I go after him telling him that i am sorry and beg for him to take me back. I think that would make me look like a fool. Everything is so fragile right no, I do not want to make the wrong step. Just be his friend and hope that fate steps in and one day we can look at each other and fall in love again.

 

Thanks everyone for your comments, it really helped me!!!

[Bamabelle]

I know this will sound bad, but my boyfriend was really pulling away, but wanted to keep me on a string. I was willing to give him time to think about our relationship. He said he was not interested in dating other women. Well here is the clincher. He checked his voicemail from my cell phone and thereforeeee left his password in my phone. I could not help but want to know if he was lying to me or being honest. I started checking his messages and there were several girls calling him. I was furious. I finally broke it off and came clean about me checking his phone. He said he was just talking to them, and that he loves me but he is confused....what in the world do i do? I said we should not talk, but he says that he misses me and is scared and that he might be making a mistake. We are broken up, but neither one of us can completely let go. what do i do?

[sadisticbarbiedoll]

Hmmm, well, so far people have been telling you how you brought this on yourself, blah blah blah. You might be in love with him, or you might think you are. He might love you, and you might think you love him, but you've got to ask yourself this. If he loved you, why did he cheat on you in the first place? i know it's been over a year and all, but a guy who loves you won't ever treat you like that. Notice how when the other girl wouldn't talk to him, he crawled straight back to you? What if the girl had kept on talking to him? Where would that have left you? That's right, lying in the dirt, your face lathered in mud. It's up to you what you want and if you think he's the one you want, but you can find better.