New Religion, or Bad News? How to Tell

[Juliana]

There have been an increasing number of posts about religion recently. Given the interest people have in spiritual things, I thought it might be helpful to have a brief discussion about how to tell if the organization that approaches you is a safe one to invest time in, or not.

 

People are accustomed to associating danger with obviously bizarre lifestyles or new belief systems. In fact, cult thinking can arise anywhere the following take place, whether in an old, established organization, or a new one:

 

1. There will be emphasis on the end of the world, or coming judgment, or the arrival of the aliens to finally retrieve us (don't laugh; there are people who completely believe this, and some who killed themselves in that belief). Only the cult members will be saved, retrieved, or receive reward.

 

2. They are led by a single charismatic leader, either male or female, alive, or if dead, represented by an heir or governing body, embodying his/her legacy, who are held beyond reproach or criticism.

 

3. The outside world is portrayed as poisoned, lost, and dangerous. Members of the cult live and associate primarily or exclusively with each other and shun outside influence.

 

4. Questioning is always deferred or condemned; the answers are always somewhere else. Emphasis is always on obedience first, understanding later. True feelings are hidden, by oneself, and everyone else. No one admits to doubt, anger, or failure, because that would reflect badly on the cult.

 

5. Attempts to leave will be punished, usually by public humiliation or shunning, which can include loss of jobs, breaking up marriages, losing custody of children, and dissolution of familial bonds.

 

6. Initial contacts will be very positive, almost uncomfortably so. This is sometimes referred to as "love bombing." Later suggestions will be made as to how you should change yourself to better integrate into the group. At first this will be subtle, and then it will be backed up by punishments. The intial message of love and acceptance rapidly becomes conform, or else.

 

7. Once you leave the cult, you may receive hateful comments from those still within it. This is to prevent you from contacting anyone else in the cult who might be swayed away. The close bonds you may have enjoyed and relied on during your time in the cult will be utterly gone in an instant; those may be the very people who will villify you the most.

 

Many people will experience religious abuse or cult indoctrination during their lifetimes. Other potential cult organizations are "new age" or self-help organizations, or commercial organizations that rely on high-pressure sales. It is important to recognize that however appealing an organization may seem, if the cost is your own free will, it is too high.

[rocio]

you say Cult like it's a bad thing

[Juliana]

Let's just say, not all of us want to wear the sacred underwear.

[rocio]

I've had a growing suspicion that ENA is a cult and Dako is our charismatic leader. See numbers 3 and 6 for confirmation.

[doyathink]

Let's just say, not all of us want to wear the sacred underwear.

 

LOL...I hear ya.

[Juliana]

Hi

I am Juliana's sister, and we were reviewing the cult posting. Having had some personal experience with this, I thought I would add personal examples...

 

 

1. There will be emphasis on the end of the world, or coming judgment, or the arrival of the aliens to finally retrieve us (don't laugh; there are people who completely believe this, and some who killed themselves in that belief). Only the cult members will be saved, retrieved, or receive reward.

 

My former "church" showed me movies which included representations of people being beheaded in the End Times by non christians, only we would go to heaven for being Christian.

 

2. They are led by a single charismatic leader, either male or female, alive, or if dead, represented by an heir or governing body, embodying his/her legacy, who are held beyond reproach or criticism.

 

Our Pastor was never questioned, his life was supposed to be an example of a Christian household. He was charming, charismatic, friendly...

 

3. The outside world is portrayed as poisoned, lost, and dangerous. Members of the cult live and associate primarily or exclusively with each other and shun outside influence.

 

We were warned against non-christians, they were evil, their music was evil, their clothes and thoughts were evil. We only socialized within the church.

 

4. Questioning is always deferred or condemned; the answers are always somewhere else. Emphasis is always on obedience first, understanding later. True feelings are hidden, by oneself, and everyone else. No one admits to doubt, anger, or failure, because that would reflect badly on the cult.

 

We were always ashamed or afraid to not be perfect. Not being perfect meant you didn't have the "Victory". You just obeyed, never thought. Believe me, real Christians think.

 

5. Attempts to leave will be punished, usually by public humiliation or shunning, which can include loss of jobs, breaking up marriages, losing custody of children, and dissolution of familial bonds.

 

If you started missing church, or discussing going to another church, they would encourage you to come up for prayer, and make you feel like you were ruining your life. The pressure was incredible to stay.

 

6. Initial contacts will be very positive, almost uncomfortably so. This is sometimes referred to as "love bombing." Later suggestions will be made as to how you should change yourself to better integrate into the group. At first this will be subtle, and then it will be backed up by punishments. The intial message of love and acceptance rapidly becomes conform, or else.

 

When I first went, they were so interested in me, and so kind and loving. Later, it was nothing but judgement and correction. I used to play piano and sing in my church, and one day I wore pants, I was pulled aside later and told that while wanting to help was nice, I had to wear a dress.

 

7. Once you leave the cult, you may receive hateful comments from those still within it. This is to prevent you from contacting anyone else in the cult who might be swayed away. The close bonds you may have enjoyed and relied on during your time in the cult will be utterly gone in an instant; those may be the very people who will villify you the most.

 

I was lucky, I got out with a clean break when I left the town to go to a different university. A friend was not so lucky. She chose to leave, and she was talked about, people wouldn't speak to her, or they would pretend she wasn't there if they bumped into her in town. The people I had relied on so much basically turned their backs on us. Another couple that left were treated like dirt. It was horrible.

 

Christians do not do this. True Christianity would have nothing to do with this kind of treatment. I had to abstain from the corporate church for some time as a sort of self "de programming", but followed it privately, with family and some like minded friends. Years later, I have been able to return to a different church, and I have found it very beneficial.

[lonestar_80]

1. There will be emphasis on the end of the world, or coming judgment, or the arrival of the aliens to finally retrieve us (don't laugh; there are people who completely believe this, and some who killed themselves in that belief). Only the cult members will be saved, retrieved, or receive reward.

 

I can't help but to laugh!