sandyv Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 Alrighty, I'm starting this challenge. She just picked up the last of her things and it was the hardest thing to say goodbye and let her walk out the door. However, with that done, there's nothing left here for me to remind me of her, other than my own limitations/memories. Day 1 starts tomorrow. Someone throw twinkies at me right now, I'm tempted to email her already! *Sandy tosses Twinkies directly at BrokenBears's head, and runs to get the duct tape* STOP!!!!!! Link to comment
sandyv Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 ^^ Its ok HFSF.... I'm sure a few of us (like me) were in the same state last night! Link to comment
hfsf Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 Thaks Sandyv! Aaagh! Its the thought of him NOT crying! But thanks for the message. This place is a life saver sometimes! Link to comment
sandyv Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 ^^ I know HFSF, I'd be lost if not for this place.... I'm in the same boat as you!! Link to comment
hfsf Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 Hey, they say it can only get better??? Hope you are good today! I'm a lot better than last night. At least I know a lot of it was due to going out and having a few drinks. Laughing at myself sometimes. Ok, stay away from the booze! Link to comment
sandyv Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 ^^^ HFSF, Yep had a few myself, made me even more sad than normal, feeling stupid today, yep SD would have duct taped me down for sure!!! lol Link to comment
hfsf Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 lol!!! At least we know our triggers! I was out on a night out, supposedly to have a good time! Ended up feeling alone even tho I was with company. Ok, gonna keep up NC, he doesn't need to know how upset I can get! Lets just say what goes around comes around. And we WILL be happy, just takes a little while and work to get there! Link to comment
sandyv Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 lol!!! At least we know our triggers! I was out on a night out, supposedly to have a good time! Ended up feeling alone even tho I was with company. Ok, gonna keep up NC, he doesn't need to know how upset I can get! Lets just say what goes around comes around. And we WILL be happy, just takes a little while and work to get there! ^^^ Thats right HFSF, Its gonna take alot of time for me personally, I wasn't alone last night either, but might as well have been..... Wound up not being very nice to my company either.... oh well this too shall pass.... Maybe next weekend I'll stop sniffling...... arrrgggg..... Link to comment
1guygirl Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 thats the spirit girl!! i always imagine gorg justin timberlake singing that 'what goes around comes back around'....it helps and a round of applause for lady 00.... thanks for giving us that bit of hope that day 30 does indeed arrive. tbh i have to keep checking what day im on when i log on this thread and today is day 19. i dont feel its been a challenge cos he hasnt bothered trying to contact me...so id really like him to just so i can give him the ole NC lol Link to comment
Mikey8888 Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 I just started NC today after sending her an email explaining her again how much i love her and that her decision is wrong and blah blah... I know it was totally wrong, but I just had to do it. I am an idiot. So I decided to start NC from today on. It is 3pm now and I am still in bed. I wish the weekend would be over already. I can't eat at all. I constantly have to think of her. The flat is so empty and silent without her I am really going crazy. How the hell did some of you guys manage to do NC for over 30 days... It seems like there is no future in my life - I can't imagine a future without her And I guess she is having fun now and doesn't even think of me a single second... Link to comment
hfsf Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 Thanks guys! So appreciate you all being here! I know what you mean 1guygirl about him not bothering to contact you. but, hey, does it matter?? No, we are the ones who matter. Taking care of ourselves and healing. So that we are totally over it and whn the next guy comes along we will be so well we will be able to see if he is a jerk and not get into it. Or he will be wonderful and we will be healed and able to contribute to a wonderful relationship. Talking myself into that one lol Link to comment
hfsf Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 Mikey8888 You are not an idiot! Take good care of you. Please know there are a lot of us in the same position. Things get better, I promise!!! Link to comment
sandyv Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 Mikey888, I had tears in my eyes after reading your post, you sound like a male version of myself, I slept off and on last night in the fetal position, just felt like *** basically thinking of him and how I could mean so little, when I'm dying inside. I can't eat either..... Link to comment
Mikey8888 Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 Thank you sandy and hsfs. To be honest, I am quite scared of the future without her. I have really no idea how I can ever get over her. We have been dating for 4 years. We are from different countries (she is from Finland, I am from Switzerland). We had to go through a lot. But we always managed somehow to be with each other. She was my princess throughout the whole time. The most important in my life. And now she lives in the same city, and I am not even allowed to call her... This is really hard to believe Link to comment
sandyv Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 ^^^ I hear you Mikey8888, I understand how you feel, how can someone say they love you and then totally abandon you 2 weeks later?, I just don't understand how that could be? I'll also be glad for the weekend to end, I'm lost here and destroyed, just wondering these stupid thoughts that never seem to end....... Link to comment
BrokenBear Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 Thanks Sandy.... The worst part of it all is going out or being with company, yet feeling all alone, and empty. Be strong for yourself too! Understanding... we all want that understanding. I don't know if we'll ever get it, but with time, I hope we'll at least be at peace. . Link to comment
Mikey8888 Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 Hey Sandy, I quickly read your story. At least you got some hope left. I mean you never officially broke up, right. I get the picture that nobody wants to make the first move and contact the other person first. The fact that he talked with your neighbours clearly shows that he misses you and wants to know what's going on in your life. I know, it must be a very hard time for you. Be strong and take care of yourself. Link to comment
S.Ken Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 Yeah, after 30 days my mind is still coming up with all these thoughts and revelations about the relationship and I often imagine sitting down with the ex somewhere and sharing these with her and then we'll both reach that magical point of understanding one another and rededicate ourselves to each other. The romantic in me wants to believe that, but the realist in me knows that it's never going to happen. As you said, it's best to process those revelations within and use it to better yourself as a person. One of the things that have improved with the 30 day NC is that I no longer "rehearse" what I'm going to say to the ex on that 'faithful' day when I see her again. I would lay in bed for hours and just repeat my lines over and over again, often acting like my own director. If anyone saw me, they would think I was quite insane. Link to comment
lady00 Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 Day 30. I ended up pampering myself today. My friend was going to go get a massage so I went along with her. It felt great! Today was a good day. Relaxing and nice. Link to comment
Brownsville Girl Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 Wow, tough weekends all around - I'm sorry for all the sadness. I tell you if I could just package this broken heart diet I'd be rich. I can't eat either and that just doesn't happen to me Day 5 (Saturday)- Went to BBQ with my teammates and drank way too much (plus not eating). Good thing I erased all logs of his number in my phone because I may have blown it. Had an OK time but Saturday was worse than Friday. Weekends really are harder - thinking about fun times together. Day 6 (Sunday) - Just feel crappy from the drinking. Been drinking way too much since the break-up and I'm going on the wagon. Enough is enough, feeling crappy every other day doesn't help with ones spirits. Still checking the phone too much but I haven't cried for like two days now. Best wishes everyone Link to comment
Brownsville Girl Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 Hey Dunzo, Yeah, the drinking and smoking - sorry about the smoking. I blew my quit too. I have no doubt I'm just around the corner from the 'eating everythign stage' The thing is I'm a bit of a gym rat already but the past week it got replaced by drinking and feeling sorry for myself. But I know how much exercise helps and I totally encourage you to do it. It's kinda like magic and I'm upset that I let 'him' mess up my routine. Force yourself to do it, you'll be glad when you're done and at this point only a little relief seems worth it. Good for you ignoring the e-mails. I don't think i could do that. I'm pretty sure I won't initiate contact but I'm pretty sure I'll crumble and the slightest olive branch he tosses but I doubt he will. So lame that I want him too ](*,) Sandy, Mikey, you guys are breaking my heart. You can't get out at all? See a movie? just a distraction for a little while? I love this sight but after 'living' on it for 4 straight days, I needed to try, try to go think about something else. But of course I don't want to tell you how to get through cos goodness knows it's not like I'm breezing through. Link to comment
Brownsville Girl Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 rock on Lady00, you've met the 'challenge' Link to comment
Brownsville Girl Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 Oh and dunzo, rock on for your four days Link to comment
bear12 Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 day 4 was horrible.... not only did i get stood up by my "date" last night, but my only "cool single" friend just told me that she and the guy she was dating had a talk and are now an official couple. great, just what i needed. i mean, i'm happy for her, obviously, but i feel really isolated and don't even have anyone to "enjoy" my singledom with... ugh. Link to comment
lady00 Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 I just wanted to say as a general vote of confidence to everyone doing the challenge...Going through this stuff is tough but if you stick with NC and really commit to yourself and thinking about your needs, which are to feel better, you can get there. I am not "there" myself. Do I think about my ex? Sure, all the time. Do I miss him? Definitely. Do I still wonder "what if"? You bet. Will I call him? No way! And right now, that is good enough for me because I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders in the past month during which I finally committed to NC, working out, and just generally trying to improve in all areas of life. I've found that I've been so busy with all this that I haven't had much time to be sad over not being with my ex. Sure, I miss him and I might enjoy dating him again if the opportunity came up, but after being completely without him for a period of time, I've realized, I definitely don't need him to be happy and a lot of my past unhappiness had nothing to do with him and a lot to do with other points of stress in my life. Stress is part of life and it can come from all different kinds of sources and you can't make it totally go away, but you can manage it. I've realized that if I let myself get stressed out by the responsibilities in my life, by not giving myself enough time to do everything I need to do etc., it makes me think of my ex more and idealize him more. So i think it's important to, as much as you can, reduce the stress in your life. If one of the things stressing you out is getting somewhere on time, like getting to work on time, adjust, try to get to bed earlier etc. Do what you need to do to reduce that stress. It sounds like a little thing but the little points of stress add up and pile up on you and leave you wishing you had that special somebody to unload all of your feelings on. But that wouldn't be a good idea even if you were with someone...after all a partner is a partner, not a therapist! Anyway, sorry for rambling. The point is, de-stress your life as much as possible, especially after a breakup. Do what you can to make your life run more smoothly by making small practical adjustments and you might just find yourself feeling a whole lot better overall. Link to comment
Recommended Posts