THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[foleno]

Will it has been 4 5 days, since no contact. Just looking back at the relationship, my ex who I confessed my love to, told me it was up to me to delete her number, This is funny. Yes she said, you can not call me. So offering to delete some one email and phone number should be welcome. I mention that but she said that was up to me. (I deleted her number and email) Ya, but she also said I could have my clothes back, N then did not give them back. She was so nice up until that point. Very odd. I suggested she could have the clothes left on the porch, her brother could give them to me. Heck she is out of town, I just wanted my items back, I wonder if it was because I said I deleted her number and email, but she seemed like that is what she wanted. Do not get me wrong I would do anything 4 this girl, but I will not hurt myself. If she says it over and not to call her, then sure (even thou I said I love you) I will respect ur wishes, and want my things back. No I do not think this is a plan 2 get me back. She is with a new guy. Ya things happen fast.

[AngryHeart]

If he really loves me, he'll come to me I guess. So from tomorrow I'm on day 1

 

hi angryheart..you can do it...at least try 30 days until you guys can talk about anything.I had the same problem..always walking out because that's his way.

Try NC for a while.If he really loves you he will speak up like a man.For now maybe he just doesnt want to deal with it.

 

Thanks, hun. You're right, even if we do get back together we need some time apart. And if he wants me he will have to let me know.

 

I feel like cr@p right now. Lonely, betrayed, worthless, guilty. I feel like I've done something really wrong, like I'M the one that is ignoring him when it's him ignoring me. I feel like I want to go over to his and give him a big cuddle. But he obviously doesn't want that. Or he isn't willing to say so (he's tooo stubborn)

 

Yeah, NC at least for 30 days. Let's see if I can do it.

[Crows]

Day? 8? I duno anymore.

 

Anyway... she is still disappearerd. Meh..

 

Anyway I had a dream last night.

 

I was on a movie set, they were filming a car drive by, and i was watching. Then car passed and there were some extras sitting behind me, and I looked and there was my ex.. sitting there with her arms folded, she was obviously with another guy, but they were sitting apart and not looking at each other or anything...... she then saw me and looked at me and said "are you ok?" I say "yeah im fine!" and she says back "are you sure? becuase we're not arguing anymore"

 

Just interesting. I find dreams have some meaning for sure.

[ycmanvs]

Day 6. I am starting to get anxiety attacks. Hope they go away soon.

[AngryHeart]

Day 1

 

Well, I have soo far to go. I'm not feeling too bad right now, but not good either. It's so hard to get my thoughts off him, wondering what he is doing. I look at the time and I think "he'll be driving back from work now" etc. I KNOW it will go, and I KNOW I will be ok eventually. I've been here before. It's just disappointing. I hope I manage this NC. Going out tonight with my mum and sister, should be pretty good. At least I'm getting out. Hope everyone is alright - stay strong

[Jackripp]

Day 3. I feel like a * * * * doing this... We see each other (it's unavoidable) but neither of us say anything. I am scared it will just make her hate me.

[blindreepr]

day 20 nc

 

it's officially been one month since the break up, I never thought that it would have lasted this long

[lost_for_words]

Day 4 NC

 

Only 4 days but it feels more like 4 months.

[Crows]

day 10? I don't know anymore.

[lovemeorleaveme00]

aah..i was having a hard time logging in..so i had to slightly change my sign in name.

I am looking forward to logging in everyday! Its very therapeutic to go NC and doing this..okay day11!yes!

[AngryHeart]

Day 2

 

I'm really missing him....a lot. Keep hoping my phone will go off and it be him. No contact from him since the night he left (a week ago)

[lovemeorleaveme00]

angry heart you can do it..

[lovemeorleaveme00]

remember ,eyes on the price!! his respect for you and your self respect..

when I told my mom that my EX went to see me and decided to ignore me again ..she said its because Its like picking this fruit that its not ripe yet and of course what do i expect???its BITTER!

 

kinda made me laugh

[lovemeorleaveme00]

Day 12 For Me..

[ycmanvs]

Day 7. Wow, a whole week? I am feeling better today. This may actually get easier with each passing day !!!!

[blindreepr]

day 21 nc

 

weird thing happened last night, instead of dreaming about the latest ex, i dreamt about my very first ex, talk about a nightmare!

[AngryHeart]

Got a text from my ex-BF about an hour ago. Saying, "I have not and will not ever say anything bad about you. I have no hate towards you.I will always consider you a friend and hope you find Mr Right one day."

 

....dunno what to think really. Wow, I'm hurt. I know it's a "nice" message but...I don't understand why he left me. Sure I wasn't perfect, but I gave him everything I possibly could. And he left me without even explaining to me, and ignoring me up until this point. I'm not going to answer....I've said my goodbyes before, and don't really know what to say to that anyway. I guess that's the only closure I'm gonna get. But why can't HE be "Mr Right" why doesn't HE feel like he is, he used to tell me he was. I don't know what he means by the friend thing, maybe he thinks we're gonna be friends...but I can't do that. At least not for a while. So yeah...NC still. I'm sitting here crying my eyes out.......it hurts so bad.

[austin36]

Angry Heart.... I'm sorry.. Stick with the NC. It's been 4 days for me and I wanted to call today so bad but a buddy of mine talked me out of it... jeezz...

[AngryHeart]

Day 3

 

He text me again Telling me he "had" to tell me about meeting the best friend of a local rockstar that I love, tonight. Why does he feel the need to tell me that after he so coldly left me, and ignored me for a week? Maybe he's feeling guilty so is tryna be chummy? ButI really wish he hadn't text me because...

 

1. I now don't know what to do. I know the right thing is probably to stay NC, but it's confused me and made me want to break it even more.

 

2. It's stopped me feeling angry, now I just feeling sad, confused, and guilty.

 

 

3. I feel guilty for ignoring him...doesn't feel right.

 

4. I just don't know if I can do the whole small talk or friends thing.

 

5. It's left me wondering where he was tonight to have met him, and who he was with, etc.

 

 

 

I shouldn't reply should I?

[Jackripp]

This is day 4. I feel ok when I am busy. I still feel like I am being a * * * * by not talking to her...

[lovemeorleaveme00]

Angryheart,let him miss you.its happening too fast for you and give yourself time to process it.You have a reason for doing this.If you really cant help it,say something generic like ..cool or something but hide your emotions right now.Either his guilty ,in denial or really just being friendly and he just doesnt know that its selfish of him to do this after what he said.We're all here for you.Super dave said if you broke NC you have to post how it made you feel.

[AngryHeart]

Jack, I know how you feel. I feel so guilty for not replying to my ex when he left me without telling me it's over, he just went and ignored me for a week, then text me today telling me he has no hard feelings, we're "friends", and he hopes I find Mr Right, blah blah..yet I feel bad for ignoring HIM, lol.

 

Lovemeorleaveme, you're right. Make him miss him. This was his doing, and he shouldn'y really expect to be able to just be the best of friends with me, only a week after he coldly ABANDONEND me! Does he really think I'm going to welcome that with open arms? Maybe he is having regrets because it was heat of the moment in anger like the last time he did it, maybe he's not. There are so many reasons this could be. But you're right, it's too much too soon. I'm going to try my hardest not to give in to this naggin impulse!

 

Thanks a lot for you replies to me, I appreciate it. I'm here for you hun if you need to talk

[lovemeorleaveme00]

youre welcome! actually,I am basing this on my experience which was although I wasnt entirely at fault for our break up I was ignorant about the 'healing' stuff.I went against the tide because I panicked.I was frantic because we were always there for each other but this time he turned away.

I asked for forgiveness,I offered friendship(duh)but It was because I could not imagine him completely out of my life.I was like your EX at the beginning.I was in such a mental haze that even when people were telling me dont do it..

I just didnt know how to deal with the loss plus I couldnt get over the fact that its over.I still wanted to keep in touch and they I read about it and I learned from my mistakes.My ex probably reacted in the same way youre reacting now..and I know I was wrong and naive.I backed off for like a month and he became friendly again but I think he knows he had power over me because I did the pushing like I owe him so now no more...I still love him but after break ups the things that were once tolerable can not be tolerated anymore.Its only natural for people to get back to whats familiar thats why he misses you and Im sure he does.Youre still young and youre learning about this now.I never had a very serious relationship before until my EX and I think im a little embarrassed that Im learning this just now.What youre going through might be a blessing in disguise so let's stick and do whats right!!

[lovemeorleaveme00]

its 12:38 am and its day 13 for me!! It doesnt feel like its almost two weeks since I started this.It does get easier and easier after the final push and realize that liver is liver is liver..!!(superdave's guide)

 

LIVER IS LIVER IS LIVER!! when I wonder about him and I feel Im relapsing,I scream this in my head...and then I silently laugh..

 

here's from the book Im reading now..J.Osteen's

 

Often,out of our greatest rejection comes our greatest direction.

When you come to a closed door ,or something doesnt work out in your life,instead of seeing that as the end,regard that as God nudging you into a better direction.Yes,sometimes it's uncomfortable;sometimes we may not like ie.But we cannot make the mistake of just sitting back and settling where we are.

 

hope it helps us all.

[Crows]

Day 12? My ex has a nf, and has no time for me anymore.

 

13 days of no contact after she said she wished we talked more.