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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

SuperDave71

By SuperDave71
in Getting Back Together

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LilBear Enthusiast

LilBear

Posted
Posted
Day 9.

The emotional rollercoaster is doing it's rollercoaster thing. I find it frustrating and infuriating that he hasn't tried to contact me. It's not something that I can expect but how do you just cut someone out of your life out of 3.5 years? I am a breakup novice that's for sure. Felt a little down last night but did my best to put it out of my head. I am doing well

 

Gee...I do so understand how you feel! At times I do feel like breaking NC but that would put him in control of me..he hasn't tried to contact me today.

 

Let's do this together !

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glimmerofhope Apprentice

glimmerofhope

Posted
Posted

DAY 9

 

I cannot understand how it is that she seems to have erased me from her life after all that we shared. I do not have that ability, to completely forget someone that means (or meant) that much to me. I know there's a theory that they are thinking of us, and we just don't know it because we are in NC. But it sure doesn't feel that way....

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LilBear Enthusiast

LilBear

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Posted

glimmerofhope, it's hard when someone we love so much left us. But really, there is nothing we can do about it but to let them go. Being in NC, I think it means for us to also shut down thinking about them as well.

 

I obsessively check my cel to see if he's texted, or called. And then wonder if he's thinking of me and whether he is happier without me. Seriously, I'm trying to stop because technically, if NC is going to drive anyone crazy, it's HIM, not ME. 'Cos honestly, he wanted me to "leave him alone for awhile" (I assume he wants his space - a space without me in it) and also "let's remain friends for now"

 

I'm just respecting his decision for some space. As for the latter, well I can't remain friends for now so I go strict NC and just let him drop.

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princess_summer_blue84 Apprentice

princess_summer_blue84

Posted
Posted
Yea..I mean "Well, gee, YOU broke UP with someone as great as me and when we're together you just couldn't appreciate what you had and now that YOU wanted ME out of YOUR life, you still expect to always be on my mind?" Please..you've had your chance!

 

 

Totally agree's ! He so did have his chance! And he is the one that had blew it and NOT me ! His sorry butt can take it and stick it in Afghanistan!

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LilBear Enthusiast

LilBear

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Posted

She still cares about you...but maybe just as a friend and nothing more.

If it were me, I really won't read too much into it.

 

If she really cared about you that much, she wouldn't have left you.

But then again, our human hearts can only hope, and then hope some more.

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punkgirl Newbie

punkgirl

Posted
Posted

Hi everyone! I'm here to join the NCC. Great job SuperDave for setting up such a great support system!

 

A little about my situation:

 

I am starting NC with a guy who ended our relationship at the beginning of June this year. This was our second break-up. He was going through some personal issues and was/is deathly afraid of any kind of long-term commitment. We used to work together and had to see each other almost everyday. It was very difficult for me. I actually had to do some NC right after the break-up because it was just too painful for me to have to see him and think about him moving on. After some time had passed, we seemed to be getting along pretty well as "just friends".

 

A few months ago, I decided to go back to college and the program was going to require me to move out-of-state. Things seemed to be fine between us when I left. I even talked to him on the phone and on IM a couple of times. Then, I would call him and he wouldn't answer. He did respond to an email though. He gave a three sentence reply that was kind of dismal and then he wrote "love, (his name) at the end, which seemed kind of weird to me. Still, it could have been totally platonic, so I did not let myself read into it since the remainder of the email had been neutral. That was the last I heard from him. He seems to be avoiding me. I went to visit some of my old friends from the workplace around the holidays and he was supposed to be there. He bailed on me twice and didn't even have the nerve to tell me. He called up a mutual friend of ours and told her to tell me and said for me not to take it personally. Of course...I did. I had been lying to myself in thinking that I was over him. It hurt me so much when I found out he didn't want to see me as much as I wanted to see him. I realized that I still have a long ways to go.

 

I was angry and disappointed, but I have to respect his need for space. After all, it was I who needed space from him several months ago. Even though his actions were disrespectful, I don't think he intended for them to be. I'm not sure why he is acting this way, but at this point it doesn't matter why. What matters is how I will respond. Instead of letting it get me down, I am trying to use this to help me move forward. This past weekend, I sent him an email that told him I was finding it difficult to be "just friends" with him and in a very nice way I told him that it seemed he felt the same. I wished him well and am now giving him some time to think. I'm not waiting for or expecting a reply...this time I didn't ask for one, which I feel is a very important step in my recovery. I feel I can deal with whatever happens...even if it is nothing. That doesn't mean that it's easy though. That's what brought me here. I was reading about others going through similar situations and it was comforting to see that there is light at the end of this dark tunnel.

 

Sorry for the length. I just needed to get it all out in the open and who knows...maybe someone else will be able to relate to something in there. Good luck to everyone! I'll keep you posted on my progress and look forward to seeing others move on as well

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not my real name Newbie

not my real name

Posted
Posted

Day 10 today. Have had a couple of 'mishaps'.

 

In the mornings I drive down his street (he literally lives around the corner) to avoid attempting a U-turn which is simply impossible at that time of the day. This morning for some reason he was not at work and happened to be in his driveway when I drove past. He saw me. Damn. Now he'll be thinking I was driving past on purpose or something.

 

Accidentally sent a facebook invite to his new 'friend'. Yeah, nice work haha.

 

Still NC despite these incidents. Wouldn't mind a brick wall to smash my head up against right now though!

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