Feel like I've outgrown my friends

[girlie219]

Hi, I finished university 6 months ago and am now back in my home town. I was doing temporary work for a while but have recently acquired a permanent job.

 

I am happy about it but have also found myself feeling quite down too. I just miss my univeristy life and the friends I made there so much and feel like I've outgrown my home town. I had been going to interviews in places other than my home town and didn't really expect to get a job here. I'm in two minds about the whole thing. I feel like I've outgrown my friends here too, I don't mean to have a dig at them but I just don't feel close to them anymore or even like I want to be close to them. I feel like I have so much more with some of my friends from uni, yet I rarely see them because they don't live near me.

 

Can anyone help? I really am finding it difficult to find a way out of this unhappy situation.

[spikespiegel]

That's a disappointing and saddening situation to be in. I know, I've been there myself lately. I went back to my hometown a couple of weeks before Christmas, and as soon as I got there just wanted to leave. I feel like I'm becoming more distanced from my friends as well, and I think it's just part of maturing. Some people just take longer to figure themselves out, and some never do.

 

Either way, when you see it happen to yourself and your friends, it's not a fun thing to realize.

[princessevelyn]

What you're going through is something inevitable and unavoidable. You change and so does everyone around you constantly. The best thing to do is take everything in stride and understand that family and friends all find their own way and agenda. The key is to stick to a solid base, whether it be a single best friend, boy friend, or immediate family for stability. Remember that quality is important, not quantity. The people that truly matter will always be a part of your life and will always be in your heart.

[itsthatguy]

One of my friends said it best:

 

"Your friends from high school are people that you see once a year in your 20's to drink with. Your friends from College/University are the friends that you keep forever, that would go through hell for you"

 

I've been through a lot of post secondary schooling, and lost touch with most of my high school friends. I'm only still close with 3 of them. One because he was in the same program as me for a number of years, and I feel we matured together. The other two are twins, and if there's such a thing as a hetero life-partner they're definitely it. We just operate on the same level as each other, so I know I'm going to be close to them forever. It's just part of life, you have to understand that everyone grows and matures to different levels, and if you have no desire to be with your high school friends then it's time to move on.

[girlie219]

The thing is I see my friends from high school all the time because I'm back in my home town again yet I don't feel as close to them as I do to uni friends who I rarely see. I've been told by many people that uni friendships tend to last for a long long time

[Bethany]

My two cents....Open new doors but keep a foot in the old doorway. Even if you don't feel as close as you once were, they will offer you a social life where you can meet new people you can feel more connected to.

[itsthatguy]

The thing is I see my friends from high school all the time because I'm back in my home town again yet I don't feel as close to them as I do to uni friends who I rarely see. I've been told by many people that uni friendships tend to last for a long long time

 

Lose touch doesn't have to mean you physically stop seeing the people, just don't feel that same emotional connection to them. I'm taking this year of schooling in and around my home town, and I do see my high school friends a good bit on the bus and what not, and I still talk to them, but like you said the connection just isn't there anymore.

 

I have a friend who I travelled with for 2 weeks in Europe, he's from New Zealand and I ran into him there. I feel like he knows me better and is a better friend to me now than some of my high school friends, and I'm probably not going to see him again for 2 or 3 years, and have only known him in person for about 2 weeks. It's just a part of life

[girlie219]

You do tend to notice things about your friends from high school once you're 22 (my age). You notice that some of them have grown up and are more mature, then with others you notice that they haven't changed much at all and what you once saw as nice qualities are not that nice anymore. This is the case with the person I would've considered to be my best friend at high school, I just don't feel like I want to spend so much time with her now.

 

I'm not saying I'm mature for my age, I'm probably just normal but i think i have changed since high school.