What are the motives?

[Mandoro]

This is something that had just popped into my mind today about a future event.

 

A friend of mine (the only female one I have and ever had) said she would like to go to a movie with me when we get back from Christmas break. Now I saw this as a pure friend thing for the main reason that she has a bf. But I have looked back in my life and not once have I seen any of my friends go to the movies with female friends unless they were together or dating or had a motive behind it.

 

I dismissed that again with the thought that she does have a bf, but then again other thoughts came to my mind that made me doubt. Things such as parts of our conversations. Yes most of the time they are about nothing, but there have been parts that I thought were flags. They were things that just friends didn't really share (or atleast I thought).

 

I know the fact that she has a bf should dismiss it all, but I don't know anymore. All I want to know is what in the hell is she doin to me?

[kr356]

I can't say for sure, because it's hard as I dont knwo what these 'flags' were and I dont know her, but I get along with guys more then girls, always have, I used to go to dinner, or a movie with my guy friends, as a friends only thing, not ina group but just one on one, I liked it better that way, I felt more comfortable then I was in a group situation, I like being able to talk to someone and giving them my full attention then trying to keep up with the group stuff, dont get me wrong I like the group stuff too but I would always make sure I went somewhere with my friends just me and them on a regular basis..

 

maybe this is what she is doing, if you are close friends she probably just wants some time with you and a movie is a good place to go.

[blender]

If you have been friends for awhile, perhaps she is just comfortable with you, and feels it would be nice to go to the movies, I did this all the time with male friends, and especially if I had a boyfriend, I would feel it was okay to go to the movies with a guy who was "just a friend"... so protect your heart, and try not to read too much into it for now.. wait and see, go to the movies with her and fun, good conversation, and see what the "vibe" is....

[kevin_18]

Are you sure you're not just reading too much into things that she's done or said at some point in the past. Would you like her to have some kind of secondery motive or are you just genuinely confused? How long has she been your friend and how long has she been going out with the other guy what do you know of her relationship with him? Perhaps she just wants to tell you something or talk to you.

[blender]

and you know, she might not even be sure what she is feeling... she might just be comfortable with you.. and perhaps that is all SHE feels right now....who knows what the future holds, that is what makes life so exciting...enjoy it.

[mikeca]

relax, take a step back and revaluate the situation. It seems alot of girls tend to have one close guy friend which they can trust and confide things with, what kind've stuff has she been talking to you about? Maybe your just her goto guy for problems and advice?

[Mandoro]

Ok, this is all very reassuring. It lets me know just what is going on. I do believe that I have read too far, but its all due to this being new to me.

 

Kevin, I think its both. I think I would like there to be a second motive, but I am also genuinely confused as well. As for how long she has been with him, I think its in the area of 10-11 months. I have known her ever since we started at the university, which was about 6 months ago.