NC saved my happiness...

[paulapalooza]

That's right. You read correctly. NC did in fact save me and made me realize who I was again AND what I actually wanted in life. I want to share my story to hopefully help some of you who may or may not be going through the same thing as I have.

 

My ex boyfriend and I were dating for two years when he broke up with me out of the blue. The details are here for those who are interested:

 

 

 

Not only did he break up with me once, but twice:

 

 

 

Fast forward to today (well, more realistically, a couple of weeks ago). My ex sent me an email saying that he wanted to talk. I sort of suspected that he may have been cheating on me during our relationship so I had this crazy notion that he was going to drop some "You have an STD" news on me. Naturally, for that reason, I wanted to see him. I also hadn't initiated any contact since the "second" time he broke up with me.

 

It turns out that my ex had been doing a lot of "thinking" and he came to the realization that he made a big mistake and wanted me back. He admitted that he was going through something personal that he couldn't explain at the time and to make things easier, he just broke up with me. He also admitted to saying that the reasons he broke up with me were crap and that he loves me more than anything in the world. He promised that things would be different. Since I was so heartbroken, this would be a dream come true right?? WRONG!!

 

You see, while my ex was doing a lot of thinking and realizing that he broke up with the best thing that he ever had, I too had a lot of time to think and reflect on the relationship we had. The more I thought, the more I realized how one-sided everything was. We were always out with HIS friends, doing the things HE wanted and I was always searching for ways to be treated better. The more I thought, the more I knew that he wasn't the one for me. I guess I'm to blame for not seeing it sooner and breaking up with him first.

 

The beauty of NC is that it gives you time to reflect on yourself and figure out what makes you, well you. Sure there are times when you feel like the pain isn't going to go away and that you think you'll never be the same again. It's all part of the grieving process. If I didn't take the time to "get back to me", I probably would have taken him back and we probably would have argued over the same things and may have eventually broken up again. I realized that I truly am better off without him. I loved my ex, but I love me more.

 

And with that in mind, I simply told him that this relationship wasn't something that I wanted anymore. He was visibly upset. I felt guilty -- like I was breaking up with him -- but I just didn't care anymore.

 

NC gave me the space I needed to occupy my time with the things I love to do, talk to the people I love and discover new things about myself I never knew. I know what I want out of life and in a relationship and I'm not going to settle until I find what I'm looking for. I'm not going to waste my time any longer. I don't want to say that this is true in all cases, but in my experience it's as true as ever.

 

Please hang in there guys!! You know you're worth being treated with the dignity and respect you deserve. Please, please, please don't settle for anything less.

 

Love

Paula

[rsxguy520]

 

NC gave me the space I needed to occupy my time with the things I love to do, talk to the people I love and discover new things about myself I never knew. I know what I want out of life and in a relationship and I'm not going to settle until I find what I'm looking for. I'm not going to waste my time any longer. I don't want to say that this is true in all cases, but in my experience it's as true as ever.

 

 

EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!ERRR!!!!! .. if it wasn't for NC i'd prolly be here still dwelling around my room asking why!?!? why did she leave me?? it actually help realize how one side my relationship was as well. the ex told my bestfriend, "after 3.5 years, i couldn't take this bull**** anymore." you know what!??! that should have been me saying that. its funny how my ex claims, i didn't treat her right and love her enough, and i made the most dumbiest sacrafice imaginable. you know anyone, who sacrafice to go to a closer college instead of a better one to be closer to his/her love one? you know anyone that would drive 100 miles 2 consecutively everyweekend to see them, or push his/her love one for a brighter future?!! exactly..not much.. NC actually made me wiser in my decision's in trying to salvage my relationship with my ex. enough is enough, i did what i could and thats it!!!! time to move on. and i do agree, i now know what i want in a relationship now, and i won't settle for less! its such a good thing i ended up finding out how much of a scumbag my ex is....who would of thought i could have ended up marrying this immature lil girl..man!

[Reluctant Rebuilder]

I think your post should be required reading when new users sign up on eNA.

 

I loved my ex, but I love me more.

 

I love this, I'm stealing it and adding it to my vocabulary.

[Aerozeppelin]

 

 

I love this, I'm stealing it and adding it to my vocabulary.

 

 

I first heard this line on an episode of "Sex and the City," in which Samantha says:

 

"I love you Richard, (brief pause) but I love me more."

 

I was assuming that's where paulapalooza got it from too.

[jules12234]

Fantastic thread - great to hear you are feeling so great. Getting there myself.

[SuperDave71]

Great Post !!

 

 

 

Congrats!

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

[paulapalooza]

I first heard this line on an episode of "Sex and the City," in which Samantha says:

 

"I love you Richard, (brief pause) but I love me more."

 

I was assuming that's where paulapalooza got it from too.

 

 

Haha. I totally ripped that off of sex and the city. I love that show and I idolize Smanatha. Hopefully I don't get busted for copyright infringement. But when Samantha said it, it struck a cord in me and I totally used it as part of my healing process.

 

: )