i don't know what to do!!!

[Vladio]

ok this is what's happening. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 years and it went really well the first year and a half or so and after that it just started to seem like it was going downhill... anyways we solved most of our problems but one just always seems to come back .. im the type of guy that is very spontaneous and tries to be very funny and entertaining im and Aries and she is a Leo. so what happened was that i was just teasing around like most couples do but this time it just seems to bug her all the time.. and its not serious insults or threats or anything i would never do that to her. but now she is telling me that since i am rude to her she is going to get back at me and be rude with me but i didnt mean for that to happen at all!!! i personally think that she is too sensitive to some of my jokes because i act silly around lots of other people but they find it funny .. i mean im not annoying funny .. u know? i just think that she over reacts and is very very sensitive .. so im not sure what to do.. should i change who i am? i have tried talking to her about it many times before but we just end up arguing. so if anybody can give me some advice i would really appreciate it !!

[honeyspur]

Well you've been together a long time as you said, you are experiencing what all long term couples do. You are both changing and it's showing up in your relationship.

Aries and Leo can do very well together - but Leo's desire to shine and entertain can wear down on the Aries steadier nature.

If you understand that this is just annoying her - ask her what you could do to make her more comfortable. If her answer clashes with yours - work out a compromise - a way for you to do a little bit of your idea and a little of hers, so you're both happy. Maybe you'll promise not to be so "entertaining" next time, but the time after that you'll be yourself.

Whatever you come up with, remember finding a way to please both of you will keep your relationship healthy. Good luck.

[BrokenHeart82]

Well it seems like you know a little about Leos...heres the thing..Leo women tend to be high strung (i am one) and sometimes we really arent good at accepting teasing.

I have to keep myself in constant check over this because sometimes ive been with a man and been fuming mad and realized after asking a friend that im being way too sensitive.

[Daligal83]

My boyfriend's humor involves teasing me also. So did my ex's. With my ex, it turned into constant fighting because I wanted him to stop and he'd say, this is me, deal with it. With my current boyfriend, I end up laughing or tickling him for it or something.

 

The difference? My ex wouldn't compensate by being sweet to me too. It was just constantly making fun of me. My current boyfriend is incredibly sweet. He'll hold my hand while he makes the joke, or tell me I'm beautiful 15 minutes later. And it's not to make up for the joke..cause the joke was funny. It's just how he is. Also, the jokes are different. My ex's weren't actually funny, and my current's really are. So I'd take a look at what type of jokes you are making and how you treat her aside from those jokes. I think if you just make her feel loved, she'll be ok.

 

And I am a Leo too

[heloladies21]

So many times in the past I've had very much the same argument. As a matter of fact it happened again only 2 days ago and I handled it different this time. I was teasing the hell outta her, it was all funny stuff and so outrageous that no one in their right mind would ever take something like what I was saying serious. So she gets in a mood and starts being all defensive about it. Talk about a buzz kill...

 

So as soon as she started laying into me about teasing her, I laid into her right back about needing to get a sense of humor, stop taking herself so serious when it comes to joking around, and re-evaluate the way she interprets the stuff I say. I then told her that I like hanging around people who don't take themselves too seriously and like to have a good time and joke around, and if she's not gonna lighten up and be that person, then I'm gonna spend my time with people who make me feel good. She was apologizing to me for the next ten minutes after that for acting this way.

 

Cause if you just let it slip, she's gonna think that you have no spine and can't stick up for yourself (low self confidence), and this will actually have the effect of pushing her away.

 

I can tell by the way you describe the situation that you weren't being out of line, you were being fine. She's the one who needs to change her attitude and you're the one who has to point it out to her.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Well, I'd have to hear some of your jokes before I arrived at a conclusion - so I'll spout some generalized advice at you.

 

Are you sure she isn't really offended? I can't help but point out the obvious here - what you may perceive as "amusing", she might perceive as "downright effin' offensive" - and it may be that she could put up with that for 2 years or whatever, but no longer. It might finally be getting to her, y'know?

 

I can't help thinking its a little premature of some responses to suggest she needs an attitude change when we here at ENA do not even know the precise nature of your sense of humour.

 

I think you need to have a serious discussion with her as to what EXACTLY she finds offensive, and WHY. And then...urm, keep quiet about those certain topics.

 

Because I try and be unbiased, here's my case for your defence - if you have always been of this personality type (and not Zodiac sign, thats baloney if you'll pardon my expression..well, I'm a hotheaded Aries, what would you expect ;-) she should have an idea within the first 2 MONTHS of what you were/are like, and it would be unreasonable of her to start acting all offended now.

 

Either way - talk to the woman!

[Mrs Elliott Smith]

Maybe your humor doesn't annoy yourself, but . . . lol It could be a pet peeve that she has about you. Maybe she thinks that you're funny TOO often, and wonders if you're ever serious. Try to be a little more serious once in a while, she might appreciate it.

 

I know how you Aries are (lol), and I know that you're huge ba//busters -- my dad's an Aries and annoys me sometimes, it's just too much sometimes. I'm just not in the mood for that, you know? Be careful with her, too. Us Leos get pizzed when we don't get our way haha...

 

On a more serious note, you don't have to change who you are, but respect that sometimes she might not be in the mood for your humor. Try to find the signals that she gives off when she's annoyed, and when you sense them, just relax a bit. Too much of anything isn't good . . . for anyone.