recurring dream

[Caterina]

What do you think causes us to dwell on something...to obsess? I have had the same dream over the past six months and it involves someone from my past. Odd thing is, most of the time these days I've been pretty happy. So why do I keep having my dreams. After having one of these dreams, its very hard to pull myself into a positive mood. Is there something about this person that I haven't resolved? I mean its been over a year since I've even spoken with this person...but I keep having dreams where this person is tryng to harm me and I keep having to violently defend myself...dreams where some sort of redemptive justice takes place. Do you have any thoughts about this?

[denisemarie]

Did you do something mean or wrong in this relationship, that this person would be mad about or that you might be feeling guilt over?

[doyathink]

Did you do something mean or wrong in this relationship, that this person would be mad about or that you might be feeling guilt over?

 

lol...this is what I wondered.

[Juliana]

I don't think you're necessarily obsessing; these are dreams, and granted we can choose, to some degree, what to think about while we're awake, we have little control over what we're going to dream about. Many people report have "alternate world" dreams where they dream of the same cast of characters all the time, and seem to live a different life, in their dreams.

 

I used to have the most beautiful, peaceful dreams of an ex, and waking up to the real world where we were not friends and not in touch was always just devastating; I'd usually wake up crying. I actually had repressed most of the memories of the relationship, and the dreams were my way of grieving everything I had lost without recovering the memories.

 

Your dreams sound violent and threatening, though, and I hope that this person isn't in your life. Our dreams are usually not about needing to resolve something with other people, but within ourselves. Now, this might mean talking to the other person, as a way of achieving that resolution in ourselves, but if you're dreaming of something traumatic, the last thing you should do is get back in touch with that person just to resolve it. Your dreams are helping you work through emotions that you don't want to deal with, perhaps, in your waking life. At least, that's been my experience. My advice is just the same as always: Write them down. What you write down is somehow translated out of your mind so that it seems to repeat less often. Eventually you might gain some insight from what you've written that will help you move forward in your dreaming.

[Caterina]

denise and doyathink,

 

Well, I did something wrong to myself in this relationship...but it wasn't against the person. I felt guilt over that for a while because the person took full advantage of a vulnerability I had...and exploited it to the fullest degree. I regret the mistake I made...because I knew I was doing wrong when I did it and he knew it was wrong but I still did it and he still got away with a lot.

 

Juliana, thanks for the excellent insights. I think that I still am dealing with an issue that I wish I already had resolved...its an issue that should be over and done with long ago in my opinion...and most people close to me would certainly agree...but it hasn't. So it comes up in my dreams. Basically, I am struggling with hatred. This is instead of forgiveness. In my dreams, I relive this same person doing all sorts of wrong things to me over and over and over again...he attacks me...but in the end some sort of justice/vengeance takes place. Usually I'm the one to bring about the justice. I think a part of me wants revenge...but in real life, I understand that the BEST thing to do is forgive...maybe I will continue to have these dreams but you really helped me with reflecting on their meaning, so thanks for that. *hugs*