How to tell him without angst?

[EvaGina]

I didnt quite know where to put this...

 

Well, to start with, this is my third topic on this guy... My first ever boyfriend (Mark) and I got back together after 7 years a while back... the thing is, he lives in another city, so we havnt seen eachother for a while.

 

I was going to move to his city anyway, flatting with Mark's best friend Carl. Since Mark went home after his holiday (when we hooked up) I pretty much havnt heard from him.

 

I spoke to him a few weeks ago and he admitted he was doing the whole "treat em mean, keep em keen" thing. I told him not to, that doesnt work on me and I would just get angry/bored and wander off.

To no avail, hes still not getting in contact or answering my messages or anything. So I am not going to be with him like we planned when I get to his city in 2 weeks.

 

Now, I will be living with his best friend, so when I tell him I am going to have to be pretty diplomatic to avoid awkward-ness. I know he will try sleep with me, hes that kind of guy. And seeing as I cant reach him on phone and I am not going to try explain through text messages, Ill wait till I see him and he tries somthing before I bring it up.

 

I was planning on just telling him that I am past the age where game-playing is acceptable... that I am not trying to punish him and Im not angry at him, but I just think that if you are going to be with someone you should ACT like you are into them. There isnt any point in going out with someone you arent going to treat like they are amazing.

 

Can anyone suggest anything to say? I really, really like this guy, so it will suck big time, but I have been kicked in the teeth so much by men its time to toughen up and stop giving them what they want without working for it.

 

Suggestions? Anything I can say to get the message accross, that Im not going to just sleep with him, without making him angry or anything? Hes a pretty happy-go-lucky kinda chap, so Im not worried about him flying off the handle or anything, I am just going to have to see him all the time, so I have to be tactful

 

Thanks

[aymee_lee]

I'd just ask him where he thinks the two of you stand. I think it's a horrible way for someone to act towards their partner. The 'treat em mean, keep em keen' thing is just ridiculous! I'm glad you stood up to him in that regard! I just think it's crazy.

 

He knew you were coming to flat with his best friend and he's still acting this way so he can just deal with it. He needs to grow up and treat you the way you deserve. Even if he does just want to be friends he needs to say that.

 

Just tell him that you are not comortable sleeping with him unless he can offer you something better. Give him some time after you have moved to pick up his game if you want to, but if he still acts this rude to you, forget it.