I want to get marrriiiieeeed

[annie24]

actually...... from what he has said, I think it is even MORE likely that he won't propose if you move in together first...

 

that he's getting married once and staying married, so he wants to be sure we don't have some problem where we fight uncontrollably and things don't go right and all that mess.

 

it sounds like if he wants to move in first, he would use living together as a "test". it doesn't sound like a proposal would necessarily be the next step. It sounds like if you two moved in together, and there you two were fighting or having problems, he would be LESS likely to marry you or propose, he would rather break up.

 

as opposed to marriage, where you ACKNOWLEDGE that you will have problems, that things won't always be rosy, but you promise to work through them together.

[xmrth]

as opposed to marriage, where you ACKNOWLEDGE that you will have problems, that things won't always be rosy, but you promise to work through them together.

 

I think that's a really really good point. I'm going to talk to him about it concerning that, definitely.

[Batya33]

"Same here and you are lucky you were able to make that happen -"

 

I know that it is something that many people want, and that usually happens, but how and with whom isn't really in anyone's control. I know that infertility has affected alot of women; we learn, we grieve, we adjust. It is all part of living our lives. I needed to be married; I knew that. I think it is healthy to know what you need. Going through life slightly unfocused about our priorities makes us prone to mistakes.

 

I agree with all of this (and with your advice to the OP) - I just wanted to make sure you didn't think that needing marriage and having the opportunity to be in a healthy, happy marriage were the same thing.