Help me understand this...

[evening_light]

Ok, let's look at it from this point of view...

 

A few months ago he starts dating you, things didn't work out, so he leaves...( at the time you were just a "void" that he was filling ) You put no blame on your ex...somehow he can't do anything wrong...

 

you fell in "love" with him, but he is not in love with you, (well not the way your heart feels for him) he may love you as a friend, but not a girlfriend right now...

 

You seem to know more about "his" ex, than "he" does...why is that?

 

I know your hurting, but you can't pretend to yourself that you know what's best for him.( let me guess...YOU)

 

Like Blender, myself and others said....go NC....youre so afraid that he will forget you, right?

 

If he truly wants you, he knows where to find you...so for now.."heal" and maybe when he sees a mature, forgiving, confident woman, he will come back..

[loveistough]

Ummm, I left him. I didn't say I knew more about his ex than he does. I said I don't know if he knows she is dating someone else and that he doesn't know that I know that I am aware of some of the things I am aware of. He's already showing me that he misses me. Look, it is a really long story and I don't care to give you all the details. You can draw all the conclusions you want and not want to "hear" what I am saying, it doesn't really matter to me. He came after me aggressively and it took me a long time to even date him. He wanted me, I didn't want him. I was the one to end it. I wasn't willing to be part of that situation. If he "loved" her so much as you say then why did he end it with her?? Hmmm, something to think about there. You haven't explained why he wanted to end things with her and DID end things with her if he loved her so much. That doesn't even make sense. We just recently have started talking again and he has initiated a lot of it. Like I said before, it really doesn't matter now. You and blender have made assumptions which are easy to make on a bulletin board without knowing all the facts.

 

Again, I already said I had gone NC. It was my own idea and I continue to do so now. I didn't say I knew what was best for him, where did that come from?????? You are putting words into my mouth that I never said.

 

I don't think guys pursue women as hard as he pursued me just to "fill a void" as you say. If that's all he wanted he could have found a much easier catch, there was someone that liked him that he wasn't interested in because he wanted me. Usually too, guys don't take "void fillers" home to meet their family.

 

We didn't start dating a few months ago, we broke up a few months back. Things were working out GREAT actually. This was a guy begging me not to end things between us. I also said I DID put a lot of blame on him. Apparently you must think I just came to my own conclusions, didn't happen!! I don't think you read my posts very carefully.

[blender]

Loveistough, Please know that we care, and if we say things that sometimes are not "perfectly accurate" regarding your situation, just try to remember that we are trying to help you think it all through. And YOU are worthy of a man who tells you the truth, even if it's difficult for him to do, even if the "last woman in his life" had issues that he was being sensitive to, he still had the opportunity to respect your relationship enough to be honest with you, and I mean "upfront" from the beginnning, all the time you spent with him, all the intamcy, and yet he never said, "I really care about you, and I have to be honest, well, my old girlfriend, she's going through a tough time and I feel I need to "be there" for her emotionally, and I thought you should know".

 

That is the only thing that is an indication that he might have some issues with total honesty within a relationship... I know, I know, you have found a "reason" why he didn't tell you.. and he was 'honest" after you found out everything from other sources.. and you want to give him the benefit of the doubt, that is understandable, but know that now he's NOT ready, and if and when he is, do you think you will feel a "trust" between you two?

[loveistough]

I don't really have a problem with what YOU have said blender. It's not totally accurate because you don't know the entire situation. I can understand why you would jump to that conclusion.

 

Evening_light is twisting my words into things I never posted and I can't help but wonder if he/she read my post AT ALL before responding. Respond to what I am posting, not something you twisted it into being.

 

No one has explained to me why he decides now to end things with her after we started talking again. That seems to be skipped over. He has not even told me they have broken up, I found that out thru a different source.

 

This is not fresh for me, the pain of the situation is over and has been for a while. I am frustrated because he was contacting me and seemed like he wanted to reunite after I made several things very clear with him and then he all the sudden backed off. I don't even know if the back off had anything to do with an ugly situation happening between him and her.

[bigheart09]

No one has explained to me why he decides now to end things with her after we started talking again. That seems to be skipped over. He has not even told me they have broken up, I found that out thru a different source.

 

I think he finally realized that he was in a bad situation with this girl. It seems that he truly has feelings for you, but maybe he just needs some space to think things through about his life. You did mention his brother just died, how is he dealing with that?

[blender]

Either way, he's not worthy of YOU, learn from this, and try to maintain no contact, he gave you "Mixed signals" perhaps he was being polite because that's the kind of guy he is... he was texting nice comments because he thought it was a nice thing to do..maybe that is all he meant?? What do you think?

[kamurj]

Thread locked by op request.