What Would You Do?

[toggle]

I agree with Cayden,

 

Best you can do in this situtation is to give her some notice say 2 weeks - a month at max and tell her she either has to pay some upkeep or leave.

 

If she does get a job and start paying upkeep, let her know that you don't want her living with you and that she will need to leave. Give her deadline, say a couple of months so it gives her time. If you don't you may find her staying with you a long time.

[Skippy]

i would give her a time table.

Seems that she maybe reaching your limits of your generousity.

eg, 1 month to get a job 3 months to move out.

[Bethany]

Just take a deep breath and say it clearly and truthfully, that things arent working out on your side and you would like her to move out.

 

You've been a good friend and you did the right thing but now she is taking advantage of it, don't feel bad or guilty about wanting your life back. It's time she moved on.

 

The timing could be a little better though and I would suggest bringing it up after xmas just in case there is an atmosphere and ruins YOUR Xmas.

[shes2smart]

Definitely, give her notice that she either has to shape up or leave. It's your home, and she is taking advantage of your generousity shamelessly.

 

At this point, your well-intentioned offers of help are becoming (or have become) a way of enabling her to engage in destructive behaviors with no consequences. It's hard to watch when people we like/care about choose to self-destruct, but sometimes the kindest thing we can do (in the larger picture) is stop enabling and allow them to bottom out so they can (hopefully) have that aha! moment and start getting themselves together.

 

Another thought...you might want to give her notice, but be prepared to remove her sooner if she starts going after you or starts becoming destructive to your property.

 

Good luck.