bigthings46 Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 So as some of you know I broke 37 days of NC the other day and replied to this girl after her trying to contact me 3times. I kept it short and sweet saying I was busy with work and stuff and just asked what her plans where for christmas. Anyways here is her response. "so your still working huh, thats cool. I didnt think you would stick it out ( proved me wrong)! Yeah i still work 55 hours a week ={ it sucks doesnt it! Iam doing ok, how are you? Im going up to maine to visit my mom for x-mas, fun fun. new years Im probably going to hang out with linz, but who knows. What are you doing anything exciting?!?!? well mister matt Im glad you decided to talk to me again, we wil have to chill sometime. merry x-mas " We have been broken up almost 4 months and it has been almost 2 since I have last seen her and spoke to her face to face. I don't know how I should reply. I was thinking along the lines of that ya I am still working and have made alot of changes lately and I am not the same person she knew over the summertime. Then that I have alot of options for new years, just havent figured out what I am doing. Then wish her merry xmas and go back to NC. What do you think????????? Link to comment
enolaton Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 Hey bigthings.... I wouldn't blantly come out and say that you've changed. If you're actually up to seeing her... show her with actions, not with words. That is, if it's wise to even respond to her in the first place. Also, if you're OK with speaking to her, not to be a downer, but just becuase she said she wants "chill" time, doesn't mean she'll stick to her word. If she doesn't... are you OK with that. Guard your heart man. Overall, if you do wish to respond... keep it short and sweet like your first e-mail, and leave the plan-making to her. Link to comment
bigthings46 Posted December 21, 2006 Author Share Posted December 21, 2006 I really didn't even plan on mentioning anything to do with meeting up. Im not playing that game. I just want to keep her wondering what I have going on and for her to know that I am not the guy I was a while back. Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 You have to ask yourself: what do _you_ want. Do you think you can be friends with her? Do you (if given the opportunity) want to rekindle things. You've been NC for 2 months now - I'm guessing you got pretty used to her not being around and are healing nicely. You have to figure out how far down the road you are. I don't know the circumstances of the break up but at the very least you should respond, I think, politely and tell her what you are up to. Just be cool and calm about it. Wish her a Merry Xmas etc and say you hope she is well (and her family and whatever if appropriate) I wouldn't respond to the "lets get together sometime" until she point blank asks you to - Then decide. Keep it simple and cool. And continue what you were doing during NC. This (her wondering what you are up to) is pretty inevitable in my experience. Link to comment
bigthings46 Posted December 21, 2006 Author Share Posted December 21, 2006 Im not up for being FRIENDS. I would give anything to rekindle this relationship. Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 Then you need to ask her what her intentions are. Brace yourself for an answer you might not want to hear (or even understand) Check out my story of broken NC on this thread (which I wrote just now) (in case that link doesn't work it's the "any advice on Christmas card?" thread) It comes under the heading of "be careful what you wish for" Link to comment
bigthings46 Posted December 21, 2006 Author Share Posted December 21, 2006 alright well I just sent a reply and kept it really short. Here is what I sent.... "Im doing great, jobs going really good, got alot of good stuff going right now. So your going back up to Maine for xmas? thats coo, I'm just gonna be sticking around here having dinner @ home then heading over to my old mans house on xmas. Im going into Boston on new years for First Night. I got the hook up on a place to stay in town through one of my contracts @ work so I won't have to try and get home till new years day. Should be a good time. Anyways good to hear your doing well. I hope santa and the new year are good to you. Take care hun Matty" Now its back to NC. After tonight I am no longer going to check my myspace and email till well into the new year. You people think that was an ok response????? Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 Good response! Link to comment
bigthings46 Posted December 21, 2006 Author Share Posted December 21, 2006 anybody else have any thoughts about my response????? Link to comment
dnozzle Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 I wouldn't call her hun, or any other endearing terms. It still smacks of missing her just a tad. Link to comment
bigthings46 Posted December 22, 2006 Author Share Posted December 22, 2006 Ya I probably shouldn't have put that in there but its already been done. She got the reply but didn't respond. I expected that. Anyways I guess I am back to square one. I wish I just stuck with NC. A lil lesson to anyone out there doing NC DO NOT BREAK IT!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 Don't dwell on this, continue with the healing process. You've made progress regardless. Link to comment
Mavis VDSande Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 Don't dwell on this, continue with the healing process. You've made progress regardless. I agree! You've made good progress. It's almost an indication of how far you can push the boat out with her. I would leave her be, continue with NC and have fun this holiday!! Link to comment
bigthings46 Posted December 22, 2006 Author Share Posted December 22, 2006 I agree! It's almost an indication of how far you can push the boat out with her. what is this suppose to mean??? sorry but I am slow. Thanks for the kind words about the progress I am making but I don't feel like I am making any, I still feel the way I felt months ago. I wish I could just realize that she doesn't want to be with me and that I need to let go of it all. Link to comment
bigthings46 Posted December 27, 2006 Author Share Posted December 27, 2006 So I have been thinking a lil too much like usual and feel like I messed up really bad by just sending a friendly response even though that was the advice given. Right now I am feeling like I should have stood up like a man and told her that the reason I wasn't trying to contact her was because I felt like she was playing games and that wasn't going to join into them. And that I already told her that I wanted her in my life and that if she wasn't going to be there that there would be no reason for us to speak. I feel like that would have made me look strong instead of looking like everything is fine and dandy. I guess its too late now. I also deleted my myspace so now she won't be able to write to me. I feel like I messed up cuz we communicated alot thru myspace while we were together and that she won't contact me ever again since I cut that off. I know she would call if she really wanted to talk to me but I feel like since I kinda went into NC that she is afraid to call. I hate this Link to comment
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