A letter not sent

[bechtel]

"Being 33 years old, I find it to be very juvenile to not "try" and then "DUMP" someone after everything they shared and everything they tusted in you.

 

And although it is never a good time to break up, it is ESPECIALLY inconsiderate to dump a "FRIEND" just before the holidays."

 

Emotional Tease

[bechtel]

does this make sesnse or not.....

[robowarrior]

Very few people mature, i've seen 40, 50, 60 year olds act like 4,5,6 year olds. Becoming older doesn't equal becoming more mature, it certainly isn't a garentee. This is something you always have to take in aspect. Besides the older people get the more 'bad stuff' they have experienced in their lives, the more bitter they become. You really want to steer away from becoming like that.

 

You need to be like a castle gate closing yourself to bad people/things/events, and open yourself up to good people/things/events. That person was not a friend. You seem to have a distorted image of who your friends really are. When things go bad for you A real friend steps into your life, while a fake friend steps out.

 

Be carefull who you choose as your friend.

[bechtel]

I'm going to tell her this. Everyone else has always bent over for her.

[Trab]

no you are not! dont break NC!

[Ellie2006]

B, I agree with Trab. Maintaining your emotional stability is much more worthy than letting her know that "everyone has always bent over for her."

 

Hang in there, B.

[confusedangel]

i made the mistake of sending my ex an angry email telling him how he hurt me. don't do it! it will totally ruin any chance of communication.

[Shaker]

I'm going through the exact same situation, and although I agree with what you're saying, I wouldn't say it or send it. I think dumpers expect to be judged along those lines, and usually have some feelings of guilt. Let your ex wrestle with the situation, and don't weigh in. It's enough that you're right.

 

One of the differences between my recent ex and me is that I'm a fixer. I like working at things, problem solving, trying new approaches. I think it's really telling that he isn't willing to try to work things out with me, and indicates a difference in world view or value system that I wasn't aware of before this.

 

Do you want to be with someone who wants to leave no stone unturned like yourself, or who so readily cuts bait?

 

About the holidays, it totally stinks. I suppose you're right and there really is no good time. It sounds like in your note that you're not seeing your ex as a friend because of this lack of consideration. Fair enough.

 

But saying anything at this time is just going to make your ex defensive, and possibly even self-righteous. Leave it alone.