On the Subject of Regret - the one that got away...ever so slowly...

[GuitarmanIII]

Hello, for the better part of 4/5 months now I’ve been posting my thoughts, feelings, rants and tribulations under the subject ‘healing after break-up or divorce’. However, I’ve come to the reality that it’s been so damned long and I’m fed up with feeling like crap. I think I have a few things to say regarding personal growth. I figure, like most of us, that’s why I post at Enotalone to begin with.

 

My Story: Well, I’m feeling sorry for myself and the situation was 90% my own fault.](*,) But if I can reach out and stop someone else from doing the same as I did, then it is worth it.

 

I met my X (for lack of better words) at work. We pretty much hit it off right away. For about a year and a half, we had a friends with benefits relationship. However, it was more than that. We were so close on many levels. We’d talk for hours on end, every day, and had a great physical intimacy. She nursed me through illness, family troubles, and work issues. She also cried on my shoulder. We shared each others' secrets and loved each others' company.

 

But, I refused to introduce her to my friends and family. I was getting my cake and eating it too. I knew she wanted more but I refused to allow it. She always said to me ”you are going to sooo regret not dating me someday”.

 

Well, as I sit here crying, that day came last July. The X had had enough and decided to go on a couple of dates with a new guy, who automatically courted her with passion. During this [two week] time, the X gave me chance after chance to actually accept her as girlfriend once and for all. She begged and pleaded for me to take her. I hesitated, and hesitated and hesitated, changed my mind twice…until one day - she decided to stay with the new guy.

 

And it was finished. just. like. that.

 

Afterward, I couldn’t believe what had a happened…and I found myself grovelling for her to take me back. But it was too late. The tables had turned. I was cushed senseless.

 

Now, months later, and the the dust having settled, I realize just how happy the X made me. Without knowing it at the time, she was my world. I loved her so much and never told until it was too late. In the pressure I was under, I made the worst decision of my life. She was everything I could ever ask for and more. I know that I’d have been happy to have married and have had children and a life with.

 

So…the point of this is:

 

Love the one you’re with and NEVER take them for granted. I'm committing myself to learn from this.

 

The X is very happy now, and has even moved in with her BF. She tries to stay in touch, and is upset with me that I can’t be her friend anymore…it hurts way too much. I’ve lost my best friend and lover forever.

 

Don’t let this happen to you.

 

Moving forward day by day…or like Boughs said on another post:

 

Failure = growth, and our failures are embarrassing and thus make us regret doing them.

 

G

[Reluctant Rebuilder]

Thanks for this, you wrote a great post. The ending of my marriage had everything to do with my ex and I taking each other for granted for a very long time. Like you, next time I won't be making that mistake.

[whenamansloveisreal]

what a sad story

[smiles21]

Thanks for sharing your story, but like you I can relate.. Me and my ex of four years broke up.. I took her for granted, we fought a lot.. I put things before her.. big mistake..

 

She's a great girl, who will make someone happy someday. Learn from your mistakes, or your a fool.