EddieRentz Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 My story is elsewhere here Anyway, she just emailed me (again cold, sterile, no salutation no names in the email) saying she wants to schedule a time to bring the rest of my financial docs to my mother's house (where I am staying until my new lease starts). How do I handle this???? I need these files - I do not want to see her and I do not want to break NC... Please help Link to comment
Ellie2006 Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 Hi there, If you do not wish to break NC, could someone you trust receive it for you on your behalf? Link to comment
EddieRentz Posted December 18, 2006 Author Share Posted December 18, 2006 How do I make that happen? Have them email her? Dont I seem like a wounded animal doing that? Link to comment
Ellie2006 Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 Hey Eddie, I hope you're feeling better today. IMO, "how things appear" are of secondary concern. If you believe that seeing her will set you back then you should stay away from seeing her, regardless of how she may think about your NC. Afterall, the NC is for you and your healing so this should be the priority. Hm, I see that coincidentally, you may HAVE to break NC to set up a time for her to drop off your financial documents. Others may disagree but IMO, you perhaps can email her BUT limit your email correspondence to times when someone will be at your mother's home to receive your financial documents when she drops them off. Offer several time slots so that she can pick and choose at her convenience and also she won't have to contact you again to reschedule or set up another time. What do you think? Good luck to you and take care of yourself! Link to comment
annie24 Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 hm.. you have a few options. You could ask your ex to drop them off where you work. Or tell her to leave the documents at her work, and you can pick them up there. ie, leave it with the secretary in the main office. you could have a friend go over there and pick it up.... it looks like you will have to have some contact with her, just to get these documents back. either e-mail or phone call. keep the call brief, no chit-chatting, set up the time and hang up. Link to comment
EddieRentz Posted December 18, 2006 Author Share Posted December 18, 2006 Annie I didnt respond yet to her request, and I am sure she received my out-of-office auto reply twice now since the bginning of the week... So now at midnight, she deigns to drop the cold sterile act and write me an email telling me that our dog (that she has kept) loves the theme song to MASH and that she keeps replaying the DVDs so that the dog will run around in circles again and again --> she said how cute Tweeky (the dog) looks and that she wishes I could see it.... What the heck????? Link to comment
Ellie2006 Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 Eddie, Disregard the email if you are serious about maintaining NC. As Annie says, have a brief convo w/ her or write her a brief email and stick to discussion of handing over the financial documents. Hang in there! Link to comment
EddieRentz Posted December 18, 2006 Author Share Posted December 18, 2006 Ellie this email is killing me - why would she tell me about the dog and that she wishes I could see it??? Part of me thinks she is trying to hurt me and it is making me really angry... the other part makes me think that perhaps NC has started to make her miss me... or maybe she is just a control freak and cant stand not to know where I am. Link to comment
Ellie2006 Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 Eddie, You have been doing great w/ NC so far. Do NOT let this email set you back. Why is she doing it? Who knows and maybe she herself doesn't know either. The important thing is that unless and until she says, "I am sorry for hurting you, I am sorry for disrespecting our relationship by cheating on you, and I am fully committed to working on our relationship again" then, as hard as it may be, you have to disregard these random emails/texts/etc etc that amount to nothing. Stay strong Eddie! Link to comment
EddieRentz Posted December 18, 2006 Author Share Posted December 18, 2006 Ellie I never told her about NC... does that matter? Link to comment
Ellie2006 Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 Eddie, IMO, I do not believe it would have mattered to her either way. Please do not allow her to lead you into confusion any longer w/ her contradictory ways. If she cannot respect you enough to give you the time and space to heal from this break-up, then you have to establish that space for yourself by NC. Sending best wishes your way, E Link to comment
annie24 Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 hey - i think she is just messing with your head with that email, intentionally or unintentionally. disregard it, and only write to her to arrange the picking up of the papers. good luck Link to comment
EddieRentz Posted December 19, 2006 Author Share Posted December 19, 2006 OK Annie and Ellie - I finally responded and said any of her times would be fine, that I would make sure someone would be there -- or I could pickup from her doormen when I move back to Philly. Thanks for the support.... That email about the dog is still messing with my head though. My sister-in-law thinks she has lost her mind. Link to comment
EddieRentz Posted December 19, 2006 Author Share Posted December 19, 2006 OK - she responded by saying she'd bring the stuff to my sister-in-laws... and now she wants to know where I am moving to. Her exact words - So you gonna tell me where you are moving to now? Link to comment
annie24 Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 OK Annie and Ellie - I finally responded and said any of her times would be fine, that I would make sure someone would be there -- or I could pickup from her doormen when I move back to Philly. Thanks for the support.... That email about the dog is still messing with my head though. My sister-in-law thinks she has lost her mind. LOL. I think she lost her mind also! but then again, I am always writing e-mails about funny things my cat did so maybe I have lost my mind also! I think that the doorman is a good approach. I guess maybe for mail forwarding purposes, you can tell her your new address. unless you think she has other motives, just be vague. like, "oh It is not certain yet...." Link to comment
EddieRentz Posted December 19, 2006 Author Share Posted December 19, 2006 You are right Annie I guess it is just really hard for me to get used to the idea that someone who threw me away like trash (3 weeks after saying "Icant wait for us to get engaged") could be so cold as to not realize that such an email would hurt me... I just dont want her to know where I am going to live (3 blocks from her) because I don't want to give in to her need for control. I am moving there because it is walking distance to work, it is relatively inexpensive and the building has everything I need to start over (gym/pool/bright open views/laundry accross the hall/train accross the street/etc)... not because it is near her. Thanks again for all your support Link to comment
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