blueangel Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 Falling asleep As the stars weep Mourning the night for you Tossing and turning Hurting but learning so much I want to undo Alone with my thoughts heart in a knot I can't believe what happened to you Alone with my faults Alone with my doubts I wish I could have some clues Where are you going? Why aren't you here? Did God take you away To set me free? is it because of I, of me that your soul's in darkness Taken away So early in this life Away from your son Death came at fast flight And the last time I saw you You stared at me sad Watching my hands As I pulled away from your bed A hospice you slept in Ready to die We pretended you weren't Afraid you'd cry I went to the dance With my dress on Supposed to have stopped by To show you what it looked like But I could never show There was no one to go to You weren't there anymore And it took a few years To finally hit me My dad was remarried I look around at my new family Of his wife's Wondering where you were Why your little boy, Tanner, was also away I looked around at the scene And became so afraid But there was no one to tell No one to help I started screaming Inside and out Link to comment
darkling Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 wow...It sounds like you lost someone special, if not then you sure convey the proper emotion. Great poem. Link to comment
yeawutever Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 Yea it is a great and intense poem. If this really did happened, sorry about your lost, I'm sure that person meant something to you!!!!!!! Link to comment
faydra Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 What a beautiful poem! I'm 58 yrs old and love poetry and you gave me goosebumps. Very insightful and revealing. Thank you Link to comment
blueangel Posted December 19, 2006 Author Share Posted December 19, 2006 My dad's girlfriend, Elaine, died from brain cancer about two years ago. Last year, I thought she was haunting me. It was weird and sad; I had many scary dreams. Now I'm gaining peace though. I always will, however, miss the time period that she was alive, when we existed together in this world. Our relationship was rocky so I felt a lot of guilt after she died and my dad remarried very fast...so it's all been hitting me...slowly, subtly over time. But I'm getting better. She had a son named Tanner, a little boy. I think about him all the time. ^_^ Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 I feel so bad for you. I'm sorry to hear your hurting. Great poem though really expressive of sad sad emotions. Hope things look up soon. Link to comment
blueangel Posted December 20, 2006 Author Share Posted December 20, 2006 Last night, I prayed to God to wake me up at five this morning. I know- WEIRD prayer, but I was feeling desperate because I needed help getting up in the morning. I end up late for school and accidently leave things at home way too often. I don't know why- I feel like a responsible person. I just don't like waking up and dealing with the world around me. My homelife is quite messy so it really brings me down. Anyways, this factor of me becoming late for school really was hurting me. So, like I said, I prayed. This morning I had a nightmare sort of relating to Elaine. I used to be afraid of mirrors, afraid I'd see her, and anything with reflections/shadows...and so on. Anyways, I had a dream about me sleeping in a bed and sitting up straight- seeing a shadow figure standing in the corner of the mirror. I suddenly became like two people- too me's. I leaned close to myself to watch the self that was on my bed tremble in fear. Her/my eye's were pink and couldn't see right. I looked down and told her/me that she accidently dripped perfume in her eyes instead of contact solution. The scream that came out of my/her mouth was like, "Noooo!" and I thought I/me was overreacting...because I didn't think it could actually cause blindness. I then walked to my parent's room to see my mom's boyfriend falling out of the bed. Weird, I thought. Yet, as I moved around, I had this feeling like that shadow figure was following me, and out of the corner of my eyes I saw it standing behind me... in front of the other scared me who was still sitting with a shocked face on the bed. The point of all this is that this nightmare caused me to wake up exactly at five. I felt too scared to get up but also too scared to comfortably go back to sleep...and the realization hit me of how fast my fears could come back at anytime- I really wasn't healed. I laid there, not wanting to deal with anything, my thoughts dwelling on the dream and how the figure could be around me if I looked... still controlling my fear, my vulnerable self. Then this voice softly said in my head, "Don't think. Don't think. Just get up." So I did. ^_^ Link to comment
Siraf Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 Another beautiful poem. It's strange and powerful at the same time. The worst feeling after someone died is regret. But no matter how hard it can be, remember that time heals everything. You can heal =) Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 wow fear can control us all... I understand that but good work combatting it. Link to comment
blueangel Posted January 3, 2007 Author Share Posted January 3, 2007 Another beautiful poem. It's strange and powerful at the same time. The worst feeling after someone died is regret. But no matter how hard it can be, remember that time heals everything. You can heal =) I have. I felt a lot of grief and guilt about her. I'm not as afraid anymore. My panic attacks are gone. Plus I've been happier since I reunited with the love of my life, DAN DAN! So yeah... Link to comment
blueangel Posted January 3, 2007 Author Share Posted January 3, 2007 wow fear can control us all... I understand that but good work combatting it. You comment on everything. If I said, "cheeseballs are just irreplacable" or "my monkey likes to dance" in this poetry section, would ye reply? Link to comment
Siraf Posted January 3, 2007 Share Posted January 3, 2007 Hahaha maaaybe I would and maybe I wouldn't...wait a minute...you have a monkey??! Link to comment
blueangel Posted January 3, 2007 Author Share Posted January 3, 2007 Hahaha maaaybe I would and maybe I wouldn't...wait a minute...you have a monkey??! I was talkin to Rozi! But yes, you too! But no, I do not really have a monkey. Thanks a lot for bringing down my day and hopes and all my dreams. Hope you're happy now. -sniff- Link to comment
Siraf Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 umm...*looks back* oh yeah..it just sounded like something I would have said so I thought it was me hahahahha. Anyway, I was just talking to someone a few weeks ago about a pet monkey. I might actually get one! You know the kind from Night at the Museum (the film). Those are awesome! Link to comment
blueangel Posted January 9, 2007 Author Share Posted January 9, 2007 umm...*looks back* oh yeah..it just sounded like something I would have said so I thought it was me hahahahha. Anyway, I was just talking to someone a few weeks ago about a pet monkey. I might actually get one! You know the kind from Night at the Museum (the film). Those are awesome! I want one that will tickle my nipples. Know what I mean? Like em small. and furry! (don't mind me- in a weird state of mind right now...sparkles everywhere kinda thing. Like, OH so bright- but how to reach them? actually they're getting in my eye. kinda annoying. I cant see anymore- i am blinded!) yeah, like i said- weird state of mind right now. Weird...it's all...so...weird... Link to comment
Siraf Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Tickle your...*forces back laughter* *chokes* Link to comment
johnaintdoe Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 That is one scary dream. Even the scariest video games can't beat a dream like that! Link to comment
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