How Long Before...

[SoontobeRN]

Hey Everyone!

I just have a quick question...How long does it take before you stop thinking about the ex everyday. I had a rough break-up this summer and it took about 3 months for me to realize I had to move on-and I did and I couldn't be happier now I even found someone new and he's amazing! BUT, I find myself still thinking about my ex AT LEAST once a day! Not intentionally though-only when I see things like his car, or hear songs on the radio...when I notice these things, I get reminded of him. Now, don't get me wrong, I know I can't erase him from my head, but I've dated other people in the past, and don't get reminded of them NEARLY as much as I do my ex...

 

I think I'm just associating me being reminded of him with the possibility of me not being over him--BUT I AM! FOR SURE--I think I'm just being neurotic and thinking irrationally

I guess my question is does being reminded of your ex easily mean anything, or not? How long will it take before I won't be reminded of him like I am now?

 

STB

 

[robowarrior]

What i did was accepted that i can love my ex forever, but that i realise that it has come to a dead end. That helped me to see that my life goes on with someone new, and that the ex was a memory buried in the past, and thus i could let it go.

[cc2006]

It has been over 10 years since I split up with one of my exes ... and I still hear songs on the radio and think of her.

 

The happy part is that hearing those songs doesn't make me instantly sad, or upset, or shake my resolve anymore. It probably took a couple years before all the tough feeling drained out of those moments and I can hear certain songs and just think "oh yeah, I remember that" instead of something painful or longing. Everyone is different though, and everyone takes a different amount of time to heal.

 

Currently it has been a couple weeks since I split up with my most recent ex .. and I can't drive past a place where the worked or hear certain songs without choking up. Sucks ... I don't want to be this way ... but I can't help it.

 

Personally I think you're causing yourself MORE stress worrying about if you should be thinking about it than if you'd just relax and don't stress over it Don't fight the thoughts ... the more you fight them the more you'll worry about it lol

[SoontobeRN]

Hey Everyone...thanks for all the replies so far!

Robo, I like how you said that you can move on with someone new-that's what I'm doing and it's awesome!

CC, I think you're right too-I am causing myself stress over it-HAHA: a lot of stress. I've convince myself that my head might be over him but my heart isn't (almost like they have minds of their own), but that's so NOT true! The only reason I did that was because I have this idea that now that I AM OVER HIM, that I shouldn't be thinking about him or get reminded of him, and since I DO GET reminded, that means somewhere inside my head or heart, I'm truly not over him-and that's just not the case.

 

When I think about him, I don't get upset or sad or depressed or mad (thank god that is all over with). Don't want him back either...I guess I just have to accept that he was apart of my past and will always be a good memory because that is what he is!!

 

And maybe relax a bit with the neroticness eh?!?! I'm one of those people who thinks on things WAY TOO HARD, and then makes them worse than they really are (so you can image how hard I took my first break-up eh)..LOL, but I'm doing it with this too!

 

Thanks for the advice everyone!

Keep your thoughts and advice coming!

 

STB

[Orfeo]

It's been a year and a half since my ex-ex and I still think about her everyday, and usually in a sad way. If you find out how to stop this, let me know.