kickedin Posted December 10, 2006 Share Posted December 10, 2006 so my friend....also my ex's brother tells me " hey i got some good news about xxxxx and you" i said good? he says well i would think its good considering how you have been thinking i bite and said go ahead let it rip so he says " while talking with her and my mom today i was chatting you up a bit trying to see where shes at.....and she comes back with that she is dissappointed that my prmises or committments didnt pan out yadd yaddda yadda and she wants to see that if what i told her comes true(getting my business open soon) so i am like ok and wheres the good news? he says well she hasn' written you off like you think she did and shes not out looking to replace you for some guy with a better checkbook......he says stop looking at the glass half emtpty.... i fire back with ....."ok so my promises didnt work out my finances didnt pan out the way and in the time frame i wanted....so what ! she just cuts off communication from me? i said thats not loving someone........what is she going to magically appear back in my life when my promises are delivered(which i am doing for me either way) he said to me " well its evident that shes not done and over and moving on and i just wanted to share something with you because i know you have been beating yourself up...." i said great so now i look at it as she only wants to be with me if i make good on my word......thats love? he then said dude for what its worth i thought you would be a bit relieved,....... if you think that she is only in it for the goodtimes then maybe you should move on because i can see how you are taking it.....and that he really didnt get into too much more with her...... i dont know i am re confused because its like.....what is she doing now in the mean time ? secretly leaving herself open or is she using my situation to cover her insecurities ofmoving forward(casting it on me) does she think this is tough-love or something.........is she going to come back into my life and think i wont ask her why she cut me off and doesnt she realize that shes hurting me aggghhhhhh!!!!!! Link to comment
robowarrior Posted December 10, 2006 Share Posted December 10, 2006 Who cares what she thinks of you, the relationship has come to a dead end. What are you a fish on a rod? Refuse to play mind games like that. Clarity , that is what you want in your life. All the 'what ifs' are useless, you are stuck to reality, reality is that she is not with you, and your life is too short to wait on her decision making. You need to apply some more more black and white thinking to it. Its either Yes, or no, or go away. In this case she has gone away, which means she is out of your life, you should move on to someone who is willing to spend time with you. Its basically even more simple, never look at the words that a woman says, look at her body.lf it moves away from you, then she doesn't want to be with you, if it moves towards you it wants to be with you. I mean think it for yourself, would you stay close with someone you dislike, or vice versa? That's why her moving away from you shows her dislikement, i don't know what caused it, but if you ask me you are wasting your time on her. Link to comment
kickedin Posted December 10, 2006 Author Share Posted December 10, 2006 true youare right...and i said to him......if that was good news....why isnt she here? it sucks and yesi should waste my time on someone whowants to waste it on me Link to comment
nilli Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 'why isnt she here? it sucks and yesi should waste my time on someone whowants to waste it on me' Kicked in...in this case, neither of you would be wasting your time! What do you think? Link to comment
kickedin Posted December 11, 2006 Author Share Posted December 11, 2006 'why isnt she here? it sucks and yesi should waste my time on someone whowants to waste it on me' Kicked in...in this case, neither of you would be wasting your time! What do you think? true....basically if she doesnt want to see me.....then i have to accept it as mucha s it hurts...... Link to comment
kadvati79 Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 so he says " while talking with her and my mom today i was chatting you up a bit trying to see where shes at.....and she comes back with that she is dissappointed that my prmises or committments didnt pan out yadd yaddda yadda and she wants to see that if what i told her comes true(getting my business open soon) ... i fire back with ....."ok so my promises didnt work out my finances didnt pan out the way and in the time frame i wanted....so what ! she just cuts off communication from me? i said thats not loving someone........what is she going to magically appear back in my life when my promises are delivered(which i am doing for me either way) Mate, I've failed in business more than I have succeeded. But luckily the successes more than pay for the failures... and then some! Her comments are a MASSIVE red flag for me. Being in Business is NOT like having a job. Failure does not mean you can't cut it. Its a hard and long road to getting a business off the ground. When you are successful (and if you stick at it for long enough, you will be), you do not want this girl walking back into your life. Link to comment
kickedin Posted December 11, 2006 Author Share Posted December 11, 2006 Mate, I've failed in business more than I have succeeded. But luckily the successes more than pay for the failures... and then some! Her comments are a MASSIVE red flag for me. Being in Business is NOT like having a job. Failure does not mean you can't cut it. Its a hard and long road to getting a business off the ground. When you are successful (and if you stick at it for long enough, you will be), you do not want this girl walking back into your life. maybe not......but i love her and i miss her and wish that would shut off Link to comment
kadvati79 Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 maybe not......but i love her and i miss her and wish that would shut off I hear ya! Accept the fact that you love her and miss her. Maybe you always will. What happens there is out of your control. You cannot choose who you love, but you can choose what you do about that love. Healing is very little to do with "letting go" and "giving up" and "shutting it off", and far more to do with growth, self-discovery, and moving on. Just because you haven't let go, doesn't mean you can't move on with your life. When you get those nostalgic thoughts in your mind, tell yourself "yes I love her, yes I miss her, but I am not with her and I am cool with that". Have faith in your own ability to make the best of things. As I posted elsewhere, hope is not faith that things will happen the way you want them, but that the things that happen will make sense and work out for the best. Link to comment
kickedin Posted December 12, 2006 Author Share Posted December 12, 2006 great post.....yes making the best of what you are dealing with is key Link to comment
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