Really like the girl but am so LOST?? Need Advice!!!

[Diablo5]

Ok, this is a bit long so please bear with me here.

 

I met this girl at a place where I used to work, and I noticed her because she works at a store, which I frequent. We started off with the casual hello and then about a month or two later (I got a new job) I bumped into her at her work place and invited her to a BBQ (held by my club). From then on we spend a lot of time together and realized how many things we have in common (quite scary actually Eventually I began to like her, but I was always iffy bout asking girls out.... always backed away from the ones I liked and never had problems with ones I don't want a relationship with.

 

So after a month of spending time with her I bluntly told her that I liked her and ditched....a couple of days later I met with her to apologize for ditching her and the way I made my point accross, turns out that my ditch actually hurt her. She also said that me liking her surprised her and that I was charming

 

After that night things became different, we both started spending less time together until I just stopped calling and showing up. Then three weeks later I climbed out of my hole and we made plans to go out; that night I found out she was "dating/seeing" this schmuck of guy who didn't like her hanging out with me (I guess jealousy), but she still went.

 

After that night I went on my way again, until last week when I send her a birthday present. She got the gift and called me, and then after I didn't pick up on the third call she saw my car and came right up to me. Went for lunch and when I asked her what she did on her b-day and how her sorry- * * * of a bf was doing she said that he no-showed on her b-day when he promised to take her out and that she hasn't seen or spoken to him in a month or so (so he's out of the picture).

 

Two days later she sees my car by her work and invites me to go to the mall to get something (picked up phone on third try and a text message later). So I went along but was not the nice guy I usually am, I was a complete a-hole and she still thanked me for my company (as bad as it was). Again, two days later (today) I see her drive by so I figured I'd call and see if still wants to talk to me...she did and we met up for about an hour to just talk etc. She didn't even mention the mall night. If someone would treat me like I treated her I wouldn't want to ever see that person again.

 

Now to the BIG issues: she is 6/7 years older then I am, I don't see it as being a problem but I'm not too sure is she's the same way. She's had many bad experiences with guys her age so why not give me a shot maybe I'll turn out half descent!?! I have no problem holding conversations with her as most of my friends are older and I'm pretty mature for my age due to certain life experiences/events. One friend swears that she's 'playing me' another says that if she still comes around after the many times where I treated her like crap (and I felt real bad for it too) and certain things I’ve done actually hurt her then there may be something there.

 

This girl is really something, at least in my eyes. I see her as being almost everything that I'd want in a girl. Problem is being 'friends' if you may call it that is just eating away at me, but I'm not sure if I want to risk a rejection and then ruin what ever there is between us now. ANY advice would be great as I’m super lost at this point and sorry for the novel sized post.

[dnozzle]

You've told her how you feel about her. That is the best you can do. Don't get trapped in the friend zone. Ask her out on a real date and tell her you want to start seeing her.

 

At least then you will know.

[Lion-Guy]

Ask her out. What do you have to loose?

[Diablo5]

Even though I told her I liked her I have never tried to make a move or anything like that. It was kind of a said and done with, I'm not very good at showing emotion.

 

I don't understand the 'real' date concept. We went out to restaurants a couple of times (just the 2 of us), went out to a lake (which is who the hell knows where) sat on a private dock (illegally until like 2AM and nudged and giggled like school girls for a good hour.

 

I'm a person who analyzes things and am very careful about what and how I say things.... one of those you know what I want you to know types. So I tried to read her actions in several scenarios and nothing came of it except a damn headache. My friend said that if she's still talking to me after seeing my bad side then she's choosing to see my good, and there may be a reason for that.

 

I'm just unsure if she's willing to accept the fact that I'm younger, and that us dating can consecutively be seen as wrong by others who will comment on it. You guys are well aware that the social norm is that in a relationship the guy is supposed to be older or the same age as the girl.

[Diablo5]

I sometimes got the idea that she was waiting for me to do something and make a move but I never did.

 

Can anyone tell me some things that I could look out for in order to better understand how she views our 'relationship'? (words/actions to look for).

[Shudder]

i agree with the others to ask her out on a date.. after all you have already been doing it, but just make sure she knows its a romantic date and not a friend date. also its best not to overanalyze and wonder how she feels about you. you'll go crazy

[Diablo5]

you'll go crazy

 

long past that point

 

But how do you let someone know its not a 'friend date'? I want to see some kind of signs before I go for it cuz if I know she doesn't like me then what would be the point right.

[Diablo5]

BUMP anyone?

[JulieW]

You think she's wonderful, yet you treat her like crap?

[Diablo5]

Well, yes and no. I did on several occasions to understand how she reacts to certain actions. I felt like $hit after I did it, so it was not the real me. I looked at it as there must be a reason behind why she put up with what I did and never even mentioned or quenstioned it.

 

I heard about her past relationships and know that she deserves a hell of a lot better then those a-holes she had....I just think she saw that even when I acted like a d!ck that it wasn't me being me.