How do I get over this ??

[cordelia]

I've posted a couple of times here already..my bf of one year and I broke up about 2 weeks ago and tonite I am feeling more miserable than ever! I broke up with him because I had no choice..he has always been scared of getting close and would run away whenever we had any problems just like he is doing now.

We broke up once over the summer for a couple of weeks but then got back together. Things felt more serious after that then they had ever been before. Then we went out of town for a concert, had a horrible fight and then everything just went downhill really fast after that.

We've exchanged emails since the break up over things that went wrong..he admits that we didn't communicate well and that this was mostly his fault. But now we haven't talked at all in 4 days. I feel so empty and so lost...

I keep listening to songs we used to listen together and it just kills me! All I ever wanted was to have a real relationship with him and he just kept pushing me away but then doing things to keep me around at the same time. How could I end up falling in love with someone like that ? I haven't asked for him back or anything, I've acted like I understand that we need to break up.

I do have some pride after the way he's treated me...but this just feels so horrible right now! I thought I'd be getting better by now but it really doesn't feel like it. I can't imagine starting over with someone else or how I will ever get over this!

He has some of my cd's and dvd's as well which I do want back. But I don't know how long I should wait before asking him, or if that will seem like I'm making an excuse to contact him..

[Blue Skittles]

If you want your CD's , DVD's back, ask for them back. Do it as soon as possible - the longer you wait to do it the harder and more awkward it will be. So just get it over with. After that, give youself time to get over him without seeing him. It'll get much better as time passes, believe me! I've been through this, and the first couple weeks are always the worst. Just make sure you are taking care of yourself and that you are HAVING FUN!! Rely on friends and family for support during this time. Sometimes it helps just to have some company or someone to talk to.

[Survictor]

It's ok to feel sad right now and it does sound as if you know that breaking up is probably for the best. Mourn and then move on.

 

You will be fine.

[bigheart09]

Did your bf do anything mean to you? What were the terms you ended things?

[cordelia]

I thought of that..although I was also thinking maybe he can give those back somehow without me having to see him at all. I'll be going out tomorrow night but I feel like I'm only going to be forcing myself to pretend like I'm having fun.

I can't believe how awful this feels right now...and to think that on our first couple of dates I wasn't even attracted him and didn't think I would continue seeing him! But then I thought he was a nice guy so I'd give it a change. Weird how things turn around like that. And now I can't even imagine how I will start over with someone else..I just feel so sad. I need to stop listening to these friggin' songs!

[cordelia]

He didn't do anything that bad..there was no cheating or anything. But he refused to communicate with me, he would just freeze up and avoid the subject.

And I always felt like he was keeping me at a distance, like limiting how much time we spend together. I tried talking to him about these things and believe me! It was like talking to a wall! He admitted that he was scared of getting close but never explained that he's working on it or anything. Yet at the same time, I've spent time with his family and he would tell me that he loved. We were supposed to spend xmas together with his family and go on vacation with his parents. We went out of town and something happened where I showed a very jealous and insecure side of me. And everything went downhill from there. He started acting cold and distant and then I finally just broke up with him because I couldn't handle the stress and the anxiety anymore...I just knew things were not right between us.

[bigheart09]

Well, maybe this space will show you if you are meant to be together or not.

[silentalways]

ahhhhhhhhhhh, similiar situation regarding the 'real' ending beginning was a concert my ex and i went to as well

 

there were two concerts that night

 

she wanted to see hillary duff

 

and i wanted to see

 

rage against the machine

 

we saw hillary and i was a pain in the butt

 

she looked over at me as she was driving and the look said it all

 

i should have shut the hell up then and sucked * * * * big time

 

oh well, lesson learned #588

[Hope75]

Perhaps a quick email asking him to mail your DVDs or leave them out where you can collect them would be best.

 

The less you attempt to converse with him, the easier it will be.