I need to know if this considered a "bad thing"

[xoxoxo21]

...I am in search of advice. Morely males, but females too of course. I just need a few males O.P's.

 

My boyfriend of over a year chats on the internet with girls. I want to know if this is an -ok- thing to be doing while you're in a relationship? Should I be worried?

 

He has a profile right? It says that he is single and looking. I asked him why and he said it was nothing and it's not a big deal? Is that okay?

 

I don't know where to go on this.

 

Should I just trust him and know that he loves me? Or is he doing something totally wrong?

 

I am concerned. Just need some simple advice. Any would be appreciated.

 

Thanks guys and girls!!!!!!

[AgainstAllOdds]

That not OK, You hear me, Its not O.K!! If his thing says single and looking, and he's talking to girls, Dont trust him

[iamlearning]

Ya, that is not cool at all..

[SweetypieEnlightenedOne]

I tell you what you need to do...

First here is the answer to your question...."Is this Ok?" This isn't ok to me, and I even asked my sister and My boyfriend if it would be ok to them, the also said no. THis is disrespectful, and it seems like he's searching for some fun on the side. If you want to see just how serious this is, I would advise you to join his little chat room and flirt with me, see if he likes it! At first he will pretend like its cool, because he will suspect that you are only doing this to get him back, but just do it calmly and keep doing it. Also put a picture of youself on your chat thing, then say your single and searching. Either he will stop or you will see that he could care less about you, in letting you mess with other men, be it via email or in person. Let him go if its the latter!

[scorch_yogo]

elO!

trust is the number one factor in having this sort of relationtioship. for as long as he is honest enough towards you, cyber chatting is will not harm you at all. but there are men who really cant be trusted when it comes to gurls. coz there are also gurls who go for guys in the internet. you must be aware of this kind of guy. but if you and your BF are in love with each other for so long, i think you know him already that much as your lover and as a person.

cyber chatting will not lead to a relationship unless he is very honest to you. just be frank with him. ask him if chatting will not harm your relationship. tell him the truth about your feelings. tell him your apprehension about it. for as long as you maintain that communication with him, i think you will any problems that will beseech your love life.

e-mail if you want some more advice.

take care

[Ash]

I don't know, it sounds fishy to me. One thing, his profile is a lie, and that's a big problem. It's not a very nice thing to be essentially telling a lie to people the first time they have contact with him.

 

I'd say it is a big deal. Ask him if changing his profile to "attached" (or similar) would really make a difference to the type of person (girl!!) that he wants to talk to?

 

If so, there's more going on in his head that he lets on.

 

If you want to be really bold, maybe you should come right out and ask if he's looking for something more than just simple conversation.

[codyluver05]

Hi xoxoxo21,

 

You came on this website to find advice and maybe some people you can confide in. Doesn't seem as though people are being very nice. I am going to give you the reality of things as best as I can.

 

I do not personally think there in ANYTHING wrong with your boyfriend chatting on the net. It is human, especially him being male believe me it's ok. I dont agree with "You can't trust him." Chatting is simply like talking to someone on the street. Some may even say that meeting someone on the street is worse because you are face to face. On-line you aren't.

 

If you think chatting on-line is completely uncalled for then you have issues.

It is human nature to meet and talk to new people. Wether is be on-line or in person it's normal. If he loves you and really wants to be with you then it wont go father then friendly chat. That's reality and he's male. That is just like saying "Is this bad that my bf looks at other women." all men look at other females when they are in a relationship. If they say they don't then they are lying. There is nothing wrong with looking or talking as long as thats as far as it goes.

 

I am sure you look and talking to other males. IT's normal and there is nothing wrong with it.

 

I hope I helped. I think this is how it goes. But you take whoevers advice itis you want.

 

Good Luck!

[AgainstAllOdds]

There is something wrong with it. Especially cybering. I dont care what anyone else says, But if you's are girls, you wouldnt give a darn if your guy is talking to other girls online, or period, you's act like it has no little jealous effect on yous.

[Ash]

To codyluver05:

 

Chatting on line as you say is perfectly okay.

 

The fact he lied in his profile is a BIG issue. Something is up with that. Why lie when there's no need?

 

So, a question for those who like to chat on line: Do you refuse to chat with somebody who isn't single? I don't. I chat with anybody who wants to.

[slider]

I agree with the majority. It's NOT ok. The thing is your bf's frame of mind is in the wrong place. Making friends is cool and chatting is cool but to have a profile of "looking" is not. Two words come to mind here: "snowball effect". What starts off as something innocent could lead to bigger problems. Chatting leads to sending pictures which could possibly lead to temptation to stray. I don't think I'm blowing this out of proportion when I say this. These occurrences happened before.

[Genesis]

What is wrong with him? You look like a pretty girl and you seem very friendly and nice. I think some men are bone heads and are always looking for something "better". If I were you I would ask him what his intentions are when he states that he is "Looking", because if it were me I would tell him , then I should be looking too! HE IS SHOWING NO RESPECT. Give him a chance to explain himself (which it already looks self explanatory).

 

The problem is that he says that he is "single and Looking" this disrespects you up front. tell him that you can understand chating online, but if you want to be my boyfriend you better change your status to "in a relationship or Taken" because he is being dishonest to his new online friends and you.

[Baffler Meal]

It depends on what you mean by "relationship". If you and your guy are not communicating enough it is possible that you are not mentally and emotionally in the same relationship that he is. The boundaries must be discussed and clarified. Where do you want this relationship to go? How committed can you be to a man who acts this way? Do you want a guy who will be doing this in 5,10,or 20 years? If not, act decisively now. Even if you aren't even thinking that far in the future with this guy, by putting up with it now you will teach yourself to put up with it in the future.

 

My opinion on this situation is that it is really wrong. I would have a major problem with it. Yes, it is normal for people to want interact new people-as friends. If you have expressed commitment to someone, it just is not acceptable to be trying to meet people for the stated purpose of a possible romantic relationship or for sex. This is not at all comparable to someone looking at attractive members of the opposite sex.

 

It is perfectly normal to talk to people as friends, maybe on a site having to do with a person's interests or hobbies. To present yourself as "looking" or have a profile on a singles site or whatever is on whole different level than just "meeting people".

 

There is just no possibility that I could trust a woman who was doing this sort of thing while in a supposedly committed relationship with me.

 

It sounds like you have a lot of doubts about this. I think that if it makes you feel bad and distrustful, you need to clearly communicate that. I would advise against tellling him that it's OK if you don't like it just to smooth things over. If you have to decide to trust him, you shouldn't trust him about an issue like this. You have got to protect yourself emotionally and the only good way to do it is to be honest with yourself and your boyfriend about your feelings. If you have a problem with it, you will build up resentment It is going to come out in your behavior toward him and he will react. It could cause some real problems that show up only after you both have forgotten why or how you have fallen into negative behavior patterns.

[spencerbandit88]

No what he is doing is not right and it should not be done. Here is an idea to find out what he is telling girls that he is talking to on the net. Go to a friends house who has a computer and get on the sites that you think he is going to and act as if you didn't know him and act as if you are interested in him. Then print out the things that he has said to you. Then confrount him with the print out. It's just a thought I hope things will work out

 

 

spencerbandit88 Good Luck Let me know how it turns out. OK