Really need advice on jealousy

[dan_kc]

I have been with my girlfriend for 9 months now and i have fallen head over heels for her. She is my first real girlfriend and the first girl i have been intimate with.

 

Before her a couple of drunken kisses was as far as i had gone. However she had a serious relationship in the past and had done everything sexual with him, she has only gone further than kissing with her previous boyfriend and me so really im pretty damn lucky because shes gorgeous.

 

However me being me asked her about her past and i found out about her sex life in all its gory detail and now the thoughts are tearing me apart. To top it off i met her through my best friend and one of my other friends had kissed her and (excuse the crudeness) sucked her breasts at a party before i got to know her. All these things are absolutly killing me im, insanely jealous and i don't know what to do.

 

The incident with my friend bothers me more than her sexual relationship with her previous boyfriend purely due to the fact he is my friend.

 

Can anyone offer any advice? Am i just being completely stupid?

[amtjrtcet]

Don't let her PAST bother you. As long as its in the PAST it shouldn't be an issue. She's with you , not them.

[rocio]

Am i just being completely stupid?

 

Yes.

 

If you want a virgin, why don't you move to Saudi Arabia?

 

You are only 17. Imagine when you're 27 and dating girls who have been sexually active for 12 or 15 years! Yikes. My advice is to get over it. Or move to Saudi Arabia. Your choice.

[sixpounder]

i know exactly how you feel. the same exact thing bothers me. my gf was my first everything. just thinking about it kills me. but you have to look past it. the thing your more afraid of is if shes going to do it again. odds are.... she wont

[Biffy]

Watch a movie called "Chasing Amy" that may give you some perspective.

 

Also, I always find that what you don't know can't hurt you.

 

I've never asked a girlfriend about her previos sex life as curiosity killed the cat...

[amtjrtcet]

Watch a movie called "Chasing Amy" that may give you some perspective.

 

Also, I always find that what you don't know can't hurt you.

 

I've never asked a girlfriend about her previos sex life as curiosity killed the cat...

 

I completely agree. My b/f and I played a game of "truth" about 2 months into our relationship. I'll never do that again. Hopefully I won't have to, cuz I hope he's the one. But I definitely don't recommend digging up each others past.

[danman4968]

Yea, just remember who she is with. Just take a deap breathe and let it go. In my case, my jealousy is part of what ruined my relationship with the girl that was very special to me. Dont let it get to you. Too much jealousy = bad. Of course a certain amount of jealousy is healthy...but dont let it take hold of you.

[Biffy]

With my most recent ex, a couple of months into the relationship we got on the subject of masterbation and she said that she never does it... as a lot of ladies do!

A while later she said something during sex along the lines of "my ex James used to like it when I did this...." before doing something to me... after we had finished making sex I said that I didn't want to know about her previous sex life thank you very much.

 

Fast forward a couple more months, I'm helping her move house and come accross (no pun intended) her small collection of vibrators.

I smile and say "Hey, thought you said you didn't masterbate?"

she said "I don't"

I say "really, then what are these? paper weights??"

she then says "You told me you didn't want to know about my sex life with my ex's"

 

 

 

Ewwwwwwwwwwww

[luvursmile]

With my most recent ex, a couple of months into the relationship we got on the subject of masterbation and she said that she never does it... as a lot of ladies do!

A while later she said something during sex along the lines of "my ex James used to like it when I did this...." before doing something to me... after we had finished making sex I said that I didn't want to know about her previous sex life thank you very much.

 

Fast forward a couple more months, I'm helping her move house and come accross (no pun intended) her small collection of vibrators.

I smile and say "Hey, thought you said you didn't masterbate?"

she said "I don't"

I say "really, then what are these? paper weights??"

she then says "You told me you didn't want to know about my sex life with my ex's"

 

 

 

Ewwwwwwwwwwww

Ouch! I'd be pretty mad...not because of the vibrators, but because of her telling you what an ex would do to her.

[kittysaysmeow]

My current boyfriend asked me my # and I refused to tell him.

 

I haven't told anyone that information and I don't think it's anyone's business.

 

The fact is that most people have been with someone else before their current relationship unless they are very young. I suggest to seriously move on and concentrate on right now! You said you were head over heels, right? Concentrate on what a great relationship you have right now because it's rare to find (just look at the other topics on this forum!).

 

In the future I would also suggest not asking. If you're not prepared to live with the truth don't ask.

[Biffy]

I laughed it off at the time, not really a big deal when you're head over heels in love with someone and they are with you.

 

Once they dump you though and those rose tinted glasses slip off... You look back and think - wow, what a thoughtless b*tch!

[rocio]

My current boyfriend asked me my # and I refused to tell him.

 

same here. okay, to tell the truth I've never bothered to count, so i wouldn't know what to say anyway. But even ballpark, I wouldn't do it. There's no point.

[amtjrtcet]

With my most recent ex, a couple of months into the relationship we got on the subject of masterbation and she said that she never does it... as a lot of ladies do!

A while later she said something during sex along the lines of "my ex James used to like it when I did this...." before doing something to me... after we had finished making sex I said that I didn't want to know about her previous sex life thank you very much.

 

Fast forward a couple more months, I'm helping her move house and come accross (no pun intended) her small collection of vibrators.

I smile and say "Hey, thought you said you didn't masterbate?"

she said "I don't"

I say "really, then what are these? paper weights??"

she then says "You told me you didn't want to know about my sex life with my ex's"

 

 

 

Ewwwwwwwwwwww

 

 

If a woman says she doesn't masturbate she's LYING!!!

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Gosh, well, if my boyfriend were as wound up about everything sick and deviant I'd ever done, we wouldn't have gotten past Week 1.

 

She didn't even know you back then, so its not as though she was even rejecting you - she didn't have the chance! And here's a comforting thought - even the "baddest" can reform. I have. 1 year 2 months of fidelity, I NEVER thought I'd achieve that.

[FiShHeAd]

Yea when your younger it seems like it matters, but as i get older i just dont care about my new bfs pasts.

 

We all got one, and that makes you the person you are.

[faydra]

Dan, your friends share your likes and dislikes and are no doubt attracted by the same things which attract you. It's not your friends' fault if he was attracted to your gf plus they had a brief encounter BEFORE you came along. Your friend may be feeling that although he wanted this woman you have her now. A friend is a person of importance in your life and you need to suppress your bad feelings toward this person or even talk to him about how you feel. It could be enlightening. Don't let jealously ruin this relationship for you. Rise above it. Whenever you feel those thoughts coming into your mind immediately and consciously think of something else. Allowing your mind to concentrate on the jealous feelings only feeds more input into being jealous. Do not let your mind travel there. Enjoy this woman for yourself and also be a good friend to your male friend.