Saying the L word for first time (from a guy)

[A James Z]

My girlfriend, of 3 months, and I are getting pretty serious. A few weeks ago we had the relationship talk, where we agreed we were boyfriend and girlfriend, and I told her that I really cared about her.

 

A couple days after the talk she told me she was starting to feel a little smothered, and she was scared because she had not met anyone like me before and she likes me so much. She also talked about being pretty hurt from past relationships (I have too) and she kept saying how she puts up walls and doesn’t let people get very close to her. She felt like we were moving too fast she wanted to take a step back.

 

So for one day I did not call. After that day she started texting me and calling me much more, telling how much she missed me all the time. Then the relationship seemed to take a turn and we got even more serious. We started spending more nights together and having a lot more sex. We have also started talking about past relationships and what we want out of our current relationship. I asked her how we could take a step back when we see each other so much, and she told me she was no longer scared and that she was sure about me.

 

She constantly tells me how much she likes me, she calls me her baby, tells me how great I am, and I teller her all those things in return. Whenever I look at her I really feel that I love her, and over the past week I have been feeling the urge to tell her. I think she feels the same way by how she acts and how smoothly this relationship is progressing.

 

But even though she might be thinking the same things, I am scared that if I tell her aloud she may get freaked out again. It always seems that when you vocalize something it becomes much more real. I like to talk and discuss relationship stuff, but she doesn’t. It sort of makes her uncomfortable and she would just rather leave things unsaid, so that’s another reason I am apprehensive. However, the more I try to talk with her the more she opens up, and the past weekend she even told me she feels like she can really talk to me.

 

I am sort of scared to say it because it elevates the relationship, which has only been a few months anyway. But I think it all the time, and telling someone that you really, really, really like them seems to only go so far.

 

I fall in love quickly, but I know a lot of girls that have been hurt in the past try to avoid this word. Am I over-thinking? Will it really change anything if i say it? Or maybe I should just be more patient and let her say it first. However, I seem to be the one in the relationship that makes the moves.

 

I would like other people’s thoughts on the appropriate time to tell someone that you love them.

[Dako]

What's the harm in honesty?

If you feel it, you know what it is.

 

Just for grins, what if she dumped you right now? Today.

Would you then proclaim your feelings in a weak attempt to reconcile?

A bit late, and a bit manipulative, right?

 

I realize players never use the word, in order to keep things happily superficial.

 

Your call.

[gift from the gods]

i agree, telling her how you feel is fantastic.....! you dont have to sit her down and say "look i love you",.... make it natural and sweet, look deep into her eyes and tell her how you feel without the L word, and then casualy throw it in at the end! ..... if she picks up on it, it will prob be in a positive way

Awww you two sound soooo cute, i LOVE cute stories like this x

[mikeca]

I remember thinking how can I say it to my gf but hah...during one makeout session she accidently said it out first, and I was quick to respond

 

 

but that look at first.. hehe priceless

[rocio]

As far as timing, I think a few weeks is a bit soon. It would freak me out.