For the Divorced Guys.. what do you prefer.. single or also divorced?

[SexySadie7]

I was just wondering. I run into alot of divorced guys where I live.

Everyone has a past.. and sometimes your choices in life end up where you are divorced. I am not judging people cuz they had to get divorced. My best friend was divorced at 21 cuz she chose the wrong guy to marry.

Anyway.. for the divorced guys out there...

Do you prefer to date someone who's also divorced.. has children.. is divorced with no children or someone who's single with kids.. Or single with no kids?

I see alot of prejudice in my area from divorced guys toward women who are single.. They are sort of look down upon. Especially if you have no kids.

I myself think it's silly. Most of these divorced guys are just scraping by so why they would want a woman with lots of kids is beyond me.. cuz if they have a serious relationship with the lady.. how on earth are they going to take care of their own kids plus the ladies' kids besides?

And I don't mind guys with kids at all. I like kids. I think they are very fun to be around. they have alot of positive energy.. Sure they might detract a bit from the relationship. but i think only in a positive way.. unless the guy is like obsessed with his kids.

I usually get along really good with the kids of guys i've dated.

I just don't want to waste my time though. .if there's some secret prejudice against single women by divorced men.

So.. men. what is your take on this?

[Clementine orange]

Probably true. Single women may still be harboring fantasies of "knights in shining armor" but the divorced woman has already tasted the bitter fruit of reality and are thereforeeee more realistic about things.

Depending on the age but you know how women are suspicious of men in their 30s (and beyond) who are still single ala "are they closet gays? commitment phobes, mama's boys? workaholics?, ex-prisoners?, crazy? why are they single still?"....well guys often have the same wonderings about the women.

 

I dont know about the kids thing.

[ephemeralDreams]

Most men loose not only their family but most of their wealth in an American divorce. I am a fortunate case in where I have my son, but He and I lost family and wealth tougher. For that reason I could never marry again. I cannot afford to divide my wealth again. I am not going to let some golddigging * * * * * pick the pocket of my son. I do find women with children attractive these relationships give me the feeling of family again. I cannot give single never married women the kind of love they are looking for. I am very honest with people I date. I do not think we have the biological programming to mate for life. I tried and was burned, so I am done with finding a wife. If you are looking to get married, the odds of success are more in your favor if you stay away from divorced men!

[SexySadie7]

Interesting epheremeal dreams. Well... that's true.. that many divorces cost men a great deal of money.

Why do you think though, that a single, never married woman, would require a different kind of love than a divorced woman would, pray tell?

You wrote cannot give single never married women the kind of love they are looking for."

I do believe love is love.. but maybe you are thinking their expectations are different.. I cannot guess your mind. But thanks for commenting on my post epheremeal.

I think that alot of divorced guys are gun shy to try and get married again.. but then too. there's lots of divorced guys who get married and start another family also.

I guess it depends on the guy and his finances, thoughts after divorce about women in general.

If you are thinking that most women are golddiggers, then, of course, you would be gun shy to try marriage again if you ended up on the short end of the stick, finance wise after a divorce.

I'm not looking to empty anyone's pockets...I wouldn't want a guy after me for money either if i was wealthy. I just want someone to share my love with, that's all.

[ratherbesailing]

Hi Sadie -

 

My kids were 13 and 10 when I got divorced and they were my life. When I started dating I felt like I had nothing in common with women who didn't have kids. They seemed like a different species to me. I have to say that my life is so much more complicated by the fact that my girlfriend has two kids but I just couldn't seem to connect with the few single women I dated early on so here I am.

[ephemeralDreams]

I gave my all to my ex-wife we had many Wonderfull years. Single people deserve to feel that way at least once. I can not give that kind of love again. I will never trust 100% again, and I will alwase protect myself and my son. So single never married girls are off my list. I do not like hurting people.

[Deserted1]

I am divorced, and I would rather date single younger women with NO kids. I feel this gives you a chance/fresh start at a new relationship. I think when there are no kids involved, you can properly court a woman, with no obstacles to overcome. Don't take me wrong, I love kids and want them, but this can sometimes make a new relationship that much more difficult. I have been there with a single mom. You always come second and you feel like the third wheel sometimes. Especially if the father is very close to the child.

[melrich]

I don't think that there would be a common answer to this question. Each divorced guy would have individual preferences.

 

The only thing I could say is that divorced men with children from their first marriage often do not want more children of their own so they may lean toward women that don't want kids or don't want more kids.

[SexySadie7]

Well.. deserted.. what you are saying is that you don't want the complications of dealing with the new lady AND her kids.. but if things got serious.. would you want to have children with that new lady.. if you decided to get married?

I'm just wondering..

and you are right Moderator.. every guy is going to be different.. just trying to get some different viewpoints here.. Some guys are set in their ways about stuff.. and some guys are pretty tolerant on what they do or don't expect.

I always do better with tolerant types anyway.. People set in their ways for some reason.. always rub me the wrong way.. I think it's cuz i give people so much leeway.. i kinda of want the same from my man.

Does that make sense?