Its Officially Over........

[kickedin]

it was killing me the suspense i didnt like how i was left hanging

 

so i texted her

 

interested in a friendly cup of coffee

 

she texted:

 

no thank you just not good for me anymore and im trying to move into a new phase of my life maybe some day but not now please take care xxxxx

 

so i am thinking ok leave me hangin some more.......i texted her

 

so i guess i should move on without you in my life then?

 

i knew she would dance in circles......never closing a door

 

 

she texts:

 

dont know wht the future holds for me but you need to do whatever you need to do so whatever you mean by that then do it

 

i texted:

 

ok xxxxxx i respect how you feel just hope your "new phase" isn't cause you met someone else like you did last january

 

(she met some guy he she became friends with nothing serious) before we broke up)

 

she texts:

 

i swear on my sister the only man in my life is my god and i am learning to survive without anyone else to blame but myself regardless do what your heart leads you to do xxxxxx take care

 

i text:

 

my heart led me to you but it got returned to sender thanks for clarifying that cause i was confused i will always be there if you need "ME"

 

sent another text:

 

the first part was supposed to be a joke with lol after sender

 

 

at this point i am thinking that she is done and might have been pissed at the context of "ME" meaning like if she wants to have well you guys know lol

 

so i waited and sent one final text:

 

xxxxx, i wasnt taking a shot at you with my last text and if you do need me for anything just call and i ll try to be there as best i can please be carefull

 

 

 

no response and i dont expect one..thanks would have been nice and to break up on our 2 year anniversary(actually its tomorrow)

is crappy but i think she is dealing with major confusion that is tearing me up and we arent right and i dont know if we ever will be i will cross that bridge if it comes up

 

she was very special and i dont think she likes to be divorced at 34 and never had kids......kinda depressing

[annie24]

you know, I would just leave it alone. I think she was gracefully trying to turn you down, so just take her answer as is, I wouldn't push her for more details or anything. that gets pretty uncomfortable.

 

Just use the information to move on.

 

good luck

[honeyspur]

Wow kicked - I know you must be really torn up.

Sounds to me like she has a pretty clear idea about what she wants, which might be to not date anyone for awhile.

It certainly is better I think than for her to jump in another relationship. I wouldn't jump to conclusions until I had proof - like seeing her with another guy or something - or you'll just drive yourself insane.

 

As much as you weren't wanting to be cut free, it's probably best for you too. Being so wrapped up in someone else, usually means we put our own life on hold. Our identity as well is too enmeshed with theirs and we don't feel like we even know what we like to do anymore.

 

Now, you can go through a period of mourning and get life jump-started again.

Days of sadness and numbness may be what is happening now, but as you know, it's best to get up and get moving even while these feelings are going on. It's not a crime to go out to the movies, take walks, get involved in excersise and sports with a frown on our face. If people don't like it - tough. They can deal. You have feelings to work through and trust in women to rebuild, so it'll be awhile.

Take this first step in stride and keep us informed.

[Scout]

I'm sorry kickedin. I know this hurts. But I have to tell you friend...she does not sound confused. She sounds very clear about what she wants, and that is to be alone. Also, for you to move on.

 

What part of her texts are causing you to believe she's confused? I think you're in denial, and as long as you stay there, you're delaying the healing process, hon.

[kickedin]

thanks well at this point in my life i am starting another business wanna build a house and get out of debt totally....so i have goals i wil miss what we had but am realizing you need to have all the pieces to a puzzle to make it complete......she is an honest girl and i trust her that this is what she needs...

[kickedin]

I'm sorry kickedin. I know this hurts. But I have to tell you friend...she does not sound confused. She sounds very clear about what she wants, and that is to be alone. Also, for you to move on.

 

What part of her texts are causing you to believe she's confused? I think you're in denial, and as long as you stay there, you're delaying the healing process, hon.

 

i know shes confident on being alone....i am respecting that totally and letting go

 

this from a girl who two weeks ago says she wants to be alone in a 4 page email we have t day together and she wants to plan a june wedding...we were supposed to be in ny tonight...and now this talk about a turn of events.....i feel bad that she is so wish washy

[annie24]

i know shes confident on being alone....i am respecting that totally and letting go

 

this from a girl who two weeks ago says she wants to be alone in a 4 page email we have t day together and she wants to plan a june wedding...we were supposed to be in ny tonight...and now this talk about a turn of events.....i feel bad that she is so wish washy

 

yeah, some people are like that. they go from 0 to 60 to 0 again, and you don't even know what happened!!!

 

I wouldn't get too upset, just go with it. maybe find a girl who starts off lukewarm and slowly gets more heated about you?

[kickedin]

yeah, some people are like that. they go from 0 to 60 to 0 again, and you don't even know what happened!!!

 

I wouldn't get too upset, just go with it. maybe find a girl who starts off lukewarm and slowly gets more heated about you?

 

yeah i learned alot....i really jumped the gun because she was it for me and she was separated not even divorced when we started seeing eachother so i went through it with her a really bad move!!!!

 

she was also my best friends older sister so i knew her and fell in love with the kinda girl she was through him

[need2bme]

Sorry about that, but maybe you got some closure. Mine just blew up too. Suffice to say that I too went looking for answers and should have left well enough alone. So, unless she does another complete 180, we are also done.

 

It did allow me to see how she really is and did allow me to learn some things about myself, if what she said was true.

 

Ya know, sometimes the heart wants what it wants and it sometimes isn't us.

[kickedin]

Sorry about that, but maybe you got some closure. Mine just blew up too. Suffice to say that I too went looking for answers and should have left well enough alone. So, unless she does another complete 180, we are also done.

 

It did allow me to see how she really is and did allow me to learn some things about myself, if what she said was true.

 

Ya know, sometimes the heart wants what it wants and it sometimes isn't us.

 

well i think nc is good but when you go through a roller coaster ride like i did for 2 years enough becomes ENOUGH and i want to move forward or close the chapter i know what i want and unfotunately she doesnt want to move forward.....as much as it hurt to get my answers instead of leaving it be which to me was selfish and causing me anxiety ...........if its meant to be it will but i have to consider a lesson learned

 

i miss her but she needed to reciprocate which she didnt or couldnt and a one sided relationship will never work no matter how much you love eachother