How do I know if she is intersted?

[Jessew]

Ok here’s the deal. For the last couple weeks I have been attracted to this girl at the tanning salon. I’m very in-experienced with dating and I have not done it is about 3 years. I consider myself very attractive and look quite a bit younger then my age. I’m usually not shy but I for some reason cant seem to get past just normal conversation with her and ask for her number or out. I am afraid of rejection and really would like to be more comfortable in knowing if she is truly interested

 

So I’m 29, she is 19. The initial event that attracted me to her was she was selling me a tanning package and she started talking about her interests that were very similar to mine. So I started making sure I would frequent the salon when she was working to see if this was just a one time sales pitch, or if she really might have an interest. The next time I went in there I noticed there was a dozen roses on the counter and I instantly thought she must be taken or every guy is after her and what chance do I have. The next time I saw her she was working with another girl, We got into a conversation I a casually brought up the roses, instantly her and her friend shut down and looked at each other like they did not know what to say. So I calmly said “well” and she said there from “Moses” and I ask, who is that? And she kept looking at her friend and said my next boyfriend potentially. What is that suppose to mean??

 

The next day I was walking by the salon going to Safeway and she noticed me though the window and waved me in. We instantly got in to a conversation and I was totally comfortable. We talked about her family, my job, interests, I pretty much felt like we had our first date right there at the counter. I stood there for an hour and ten minuets and never even went tanning. I noticed when she talked to me that she looked at me most of the time and looked directly into my eyes. She was mostly sitting behind the counter with her upper body leaning in my direction. At one point she even pulled out a grapefruit and started eating it. So I went and continued my shopping, On my way out I stopped by Starbucks and purchased a coffee card, as I walked by the tanning place I popped in and gave it to her and said Thank you for hooking me up with my last tanning package. I went to my vehicle and noticed she had a big smile on her face and she instantly got on the phone… Later that evening I decided I was going to ask her out once and for all. So I wet back but she was busy. There was a lady in front of me but she noticed me right away and got this big smile and waved. When it was my turn at the counter we instantly got into that dating style conversation again about our days and how there went and she thanked me for the coffee card and said I did not have to do that.

I was still frozen though I could not ask he rout for some reason. I went tanning and when I got out she was so busy I cold not wait around and I left with out asking her.

 

So here are my questions

 

Was the coffee card a hit? Was that telling her that I was interested?

 

What was that whole potential boyfriend thing and why was she so reluctant to tell me about him or talk about it?

 

If she was not interested would she be so forward and friendly?

 

Am I blowing my chances by being so worried?

 

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks

Jesse

[DN]

Best way to find out is to ask her out.

[Layword]

There is a major age difference.. are you positive you about this?

[Jessew]

No thats why Im asking

[itsallgrand]

Hi.

 

Well, I think you have shown her clearly that you like her as a person. That's for sure.

 

The coffee card was a sweet gesture, but to tell the truth, working with the public it is not too uncommon to receive little tokens. And the pretext (pretext because it really wasn't why you gave it to her) was thanking her for doing a good job at work. Almost like a tip.

 

You need to actually ask her out, since it is clear you want to and this has been on your mind.

 

No more torturing yourself! What is the worst that can happen? Well, she tells you she has a boyfriend or declines your offer. No big deal. You'll feel good just for asking.

 

go for it. It's good practise!

[heloladies21]

We got into a conversation I a casually brought up the roses, instantly her and her friend shut down and looked at each other like they did not know what to say. So I calmly said “well” and she said there from “Moses” and I ask, who is that? And she kept looking at her friend and said my next boyfriend potentially. What is that suppose to mean??

Hmm, see that's the problem with asking a question like that, the only kind of response you can get is a negative one. Either she's gonna tell you they're from her bf or from some other guy. If it's just some guy, the information has been brought out prematurely as you both are expected to be keeping all your options open, but you can't be 100% cool with her getting flowers from some other guy because it should make you jealous and you would have to show it, but you just started flirting with her. It's complicated I know, but there's a better way to handle it. You should've ignored the flowers and proceeded as if she were single. If she wasn't, she would let you know and the situation actually would've been less akward.

 

I pretty much felt like we had our first date right there at the counter. I stood there for an hour and ten minuets and never even went tanning.

Good for you on flirting with her, but it was only that. A date is something different, where you two are actually doing something just the two of you.

 

Was the coffee card a hit? Was that telling her that I was interested?

For this situation, that was fine. But don't get into the habit of always spending or giving a chick something to express your interest or get hers. You run the risk of getting taken advantage and lowering your chances of getting the girl.

 

What was that whole potential boyfriend thing and why was she so reluctant to tell me about him or talk about it?

Cause it's a weird subject to talk about with someone who you're potentially interested in! Think about it, would you just start talking to her about some other girl (if it were the case) who you just went on a date with last night? No, these are the kind of things you will only want to address in certain situations (like if she's testing you, we'll get to those later). You'll want to express your jealousy at a time like that.

 

If she was not interested would she be so forward and friendly?

She has some interest. This is not a closed deal however as her mind is not made up on you.

 

Am I blowing my chances by being so worried?

You're definitely not helping things! But you can't help it, it's a natural emotion. Just do your best not to show it. So the next time you see her, you can decide what you wanna do. Either get her number and call her, or set up a date right then and there on the spot (get her number too). As far as the age thing, there are 50 year old guys getting with 18 year olds. It doesn't make a difference, 29 to 19 is fine.

[Jessew]

Thanks, this is really helping