Something up with me? I don't really feel anything anymore

[Jonboy582]

Hey, I was just wondering what is up with me. Lately I havn't really "felt" anything. I don't feel angry, frustrated, sad, depressed, happy I just seem to exist. And if I do feel anything it is completely dulled down. This has become worse in the last couple of days.

 

For example, I was involved in a car crash (nothing seriouse) but was in a brand new car which I basically spent all my money I ever had on, and I am going to have to pay for the damage as the car that caused it drove off. I would have thought I would have had an adrenaline rush or got anoyed but nothing, I felt nothing.

 

Only thing that I really get feeling from is being with my girlfriend, other than that life is so dull in between. And saying that I can't even visit my girlfriend until the car is fixed.

 

I also used to price money quite high and respect the need for it, e.g. saving. Now to me it holds no value, and I know I should be worried about it, but I am not. I put this down to getting loads of money from the government for education allowance which is giving me an unfair easy ride compared to some as I am living with parents and not moved out.

 

Well thats about all, don't know what I want to here, I just want to feel stuff again really.

 

Thanks

 

Jon

[jengh]

well, my first question is are you on any type of medication? Many anti-depressants, after a while, will make you feel "numb", exactly everything you just described...

[Jonboy582]

Nope none at all, only a long course of antibiotics but that has none of those side affects and been on them for like over a year and a half. Thats whats confusing I just feel numb and dead inside, don't really care about much anymore.

[honeyspur]

Hmm.

I know this feeling and it's funny because I got that way after an accident too. The woman said she stepped on the gas instead of the brake, so I ended up not pressing charges.

But I had to pay 6 thousand dollars to get it fixed, because it too, was brand new. And my insurance had expired by one week.

Wow.

It's been two years, so I don't feel that way anymore, but it was strange, I remember.

I chalk it up to letting time do the work and just be thankful you aren't in a constant crying jag or fury. Your mind is always trying to protect you - so it might be eliminating emotion to keep you stable.

I realize you have the other issue of feeling unmotivated and resenting the "free ride".

That's going to take some work. If you feel as though there's no point - just remember nothing will change with that outlook.

This is an advice forum. Start asking how to get the ball rolling with moving out and supporting yourself.

Most student loans will allow you a very affordable way to pay it off each month.

My boyfriend got them to accept 40 dollars a month. He'll be paying it off until he's 80, but he's got to pay it off anyway, so no point in settling into anger.

Good luck and stay with us - anything can be figured out.

[rose2summer]

A lot of times when we go through a traumatic experience, our body protects us by using a technique called suppression.

 

Suppression, as the name implies, is where you shut down your emotions in order to cause further damage.

 

I have done that several times in my life when faced with very difficult situations, and I think it's actually a good technique, as you are protected.

 

Give it a little time, and you will turn from apathetic to empathetic once your body is finished using it's coping mechanism.

 

Hugs, Rose

[Dako]

I've had similar things happen after a big disappointment.

After a burst of excitement over an event, I think we shut down our sensitivities.

[Jonboy582]

Well, technically I do not have to pay for it all now as we are going through insurance but still a £350 ($689 for the Americans of you) excess. Also it was not a traumatic crash wasn't at speed, just into the back of my friends car at 10mph, so I doubt it was supression.

 

As for a student loan I have one of those as well already for the sake of it, so I have alot of money and nothing worth while to spend it on (except for the car crash now).

 

Maybe I just find it hard to be stimulated these days, you hear about people like that, who need to jump of a building (base jumping) to have fun.

 

I found it weird after feeling like that I went to a rock concert that night, that was slightly stimulating, but what I found weird, is it took me to get excited I had to end up injuring myself in a moshpit. I ended up spliting my eyebrow open when my head colided with someone. I found it all rather amusing with all the blood and what not. Basically left a inch long gash in my eye brow (probs needed stitches but I did not bother with the hospital, and now its kind of open but dried up and crusty). I just find it quite disturbing that I had to have that happen before I started feeling proper excitement.

 

Maybe I should take up base jumping and some other extreem sports.

 

Jon

[Dako]

Ironically, since my last post I was laid off from my job of about 11 years.

I may be feeling some numbness myself.

 

I'm going for a motorcycle ride.

[Jonboy582]

Ohh dear, that really really sucks ! ! ! ! !. But a motorcycle sounds fun, alot of freedom. Hope things plan out ok, and you find a new job and settle in well. May I enquire into why you lost your job, or is that just being too nosey.

[Mrs Elliott Smith]

You're getting numb. You might be unconsciously doing this to yourself (not allowing yourself to be annoyed by certain things) just so you don't have to go through the pain.

 

I'm 26 now. When I was younger, EVERYTHING used to bother me. My temper came on fast, and was mind-blowingly hot. Nowadays, I still get angry from time to time, and I still worry about some things to the point of mental exhaustion-- but as I'm getting older, I'm learning that reacting in such ways only makes me worse off. It's just not worth it.

 

I totalled my car 2 years ago. Insurance gave me 5k (big deal, right?). I had to buy a new car, and there is nothing I could have gotten that was reliable AND cheap. So I had to put 5k (for a total of 10k) toward buying a 2001 used car. To top that all off, I was saving all that money I had for something else (plastic surgery LOL) . . . and I couldn't get it done just because I had to spend my money on a new car. I had been saving that money for a year.

 

I don't know why it didn't bother me that much, though. What's wrong with me? LOL If this had happened 5 years ago, I would have FLIPPED OUT.

[Jonboy582]

That sucks The amount I need to pay has gone to £450 for a bumper my mates new car will cost only £200. And the thing that slightly frustrates me, and this is the only thing is the accident was caused by a 3rd party driver who quickly fled the sceene. Guess its good im not getting overly annoyed though.

 

One thing though you can get a second hand reliable car for 5k, unless you are into big cars/ones with power then thats different(or 5k in dollers being £2,542). What did you get btw?

[Dako]

May I enquire into why you lost your job, or is that just being too nosey.

 

Work was slow, and they had liked my work as a graphic artist and illustator for about 11 years. I was one of 6 people to get the ax. They want me to do contract work when they need me.

[GeneralLee]

I am exactly same way. I don't feel a whole lot, and when I do, it's dulled down, and I can pinpoint the exact moment in my life when it happened too. Five years ago, my father became suddenly ill and was admitted to the hospital. One night I was at home waiting for my mom to get back from the hospital. She walked in the door with tears in her eyes and said "Your dad had a stroke. He's going to die." As soon as she told me that all the lights went out. I just stood there in shock thinking "Why aren't you crying, or breaking things, or yelling at the top of your lungs?" But I didn't, and never did, cry, or yell, or break anything. Ever since emotions for me have been watered down for me and its really hard for me to tell how I should be feeling at any given moment. Just live with it, thats what I do. It doesn't make life any more difficult, hell it actually makes things easier.

[bigredvick]

Everyone Feels Numb After A While. Youll Get Some Feeling Back

[Jonboy582]

Hey thats terrible to hear I guess in some ways its good your numb.

 

And I think I know whats making me numb, its not being with my girlfriend if you understand (nothing as serious and traumatic as you General Lee). I managed to get a lift with my parents to her house today, and emotions all came back, was strange, but reasuring. I had like a flood of emotions, happy, sad, frustrated and embarased but mainly happy. Then I come home again and its going dull.

[GeneralLee]

Hey man, sometimes all you need is to know that someone, somewhere, has got it worse than you do. Really brings things back into focus. Just glad I could help.