It hurts 2 much - cheated on!

[Melbguy26]

Hi,

 

My ex and i got back together (went out for about a year and good friends the year before) where it wasn't offical about a month and a half away, everything was fine until the last couple weeks where she was avoiding me. she just went through a breakup about 2 months ago with another guy where she came out in very bad from.

 

anyhow, in the last 2 weeks she was avoiding me compare to her trying to get my attention. i found out last friday when she was over her for 3 days that she was sleeping with someone else where she went sick at me cause i spoke to this guy on her phone. that is how i found out via her sms and sms him back asking do u enjoy sleeping with me and he goes yes and i asked from her phone sms, do u enjoy the sex as well and he goes "definitely, what wrong?" she went sick and saying i was going through my phone which she always does anyhow. she admit the night before that she goes through my phone.

 

i haven't spoken to her since until i went over there last night and she was running me down bad and saying the worst things possible. she was drunk and out of control where this guy rocked up. on friday last week she said she wanted comfort cause she needs it right now. she didn't admit to sleeping with this guy and was on the phone to him after i found out with my spare room door locked. last night while i was outside, they were making out and i called her every name u could think of and how low she is for turning into something she didn't want to be. she did have this big thing against being with 2 people at once where now she denies ever being with me to this guy and that she has friends that i told her yeh that u sleep with when i'm not around.

 

it end just after that when i told he what i thought of her and this guy won't be there for u. this guy goes that he had a g/f with 2 daughters and sleeping with her at the moment but not my ex. i couldn't believe how low she turned out. i called her some names that spark her off and she tried to kicked me where i blocked and pushed her over. next she got up and throw and punch at me which connect and i ran at her and hit her with full power in the head. she went down like anything and this guy went sick and told me to leave which i did.

 

i just can't believe she was sleeping with others while she was with me and that she treated me like saying i rude her life cause i rang this other guy and i said u are playing me and this guy around, u can't do that.

 

it hurts so bad cause i thought she did care about me cause last week my grandpa died and she came right over for 3 days. she said she even wanted to go out with me again.

 

how do u move on from something like this. i've never had such a bad breakup like this before where she had hit me and i've broken up with her but this is the first time i have ever hit a girl in my life and i've had alot of bad breakups but never any voilence. btw, she was put in hospital by her old ex for bashing her.

 

i'm going through a hard enough time now and she just doesn't care and sleeps around. i can understand why she sleeps around cause she was always insecure but she has never suck this low! i'm jelous and i still do care about this up girl mainly cause she is out of control. before this, i didn't really care and it was just casual sex and hanging out but her behaviour lately is unbearable. i can't believe i hit her but it did feel right after she did hit me and for what she has done 2 me!

 

how do i move on from this??? i'm so hurt right now!

[Beec]

Sorry to hear this, I know it hurts, and I've felt it.

 

How do you move on? Well, first you grieve, eliminate her from your life and try to keep busy. Over time you'll heal. It takes time.

 

Welcome to enotalone. Stick around.

[L.J.]

Mel,

 

Please never resort to violence. Laying hand on her is wrong no matter how right you are.

 

-Men of peace usually are brave.

[Layword]

Hi,

 

i called her some names that spark her off and she tried to kicked me where i blocked and pushed her over. next she got up and throw and punch at me which connect and i ran at her and hit her with full power in the head. she went down like anything and this guy went sick and told me to leave which i did.

 

!

 

Whoa.. YOU HIT HER? ... Leave this forums now.. your a coward if you hit women.

[Beec]

Whoa.. YOU HIT HER? ... Leave this forums now.. your a coward if you hit women.

 

She hit him first (after she cheated on him). I won't condone him hitting her, but a woman who hits a man, she's little if any better than a man who hits a woman.

 

And this cheater he was going out with, she needs to be kicked to the curb, figuratively.

 

I can understand a man losing his self control and composure in such circumstances. It does not make it right, but I think it can be understood.

[Layword]

She hit him first (after she cheated on him). I won't condone him hitting her, but a woman who hits a man, she's little if any better than a man who hits a woman.

 

And this cheater he was going out with, she needs to be kicked to the curb, figuratively.

 

I can understand a man losing his self control and composure in such circumstances. It does not make it right, but I think it can be understood.

 

No, that's like saying manslaughter is justified. He chooses to hit her, he chooses to be disrespected. I have no sympathy for this man. Self control is a virtue, learn it, love it, do it.

[Melbguy26]

she has hit me many times in a relationship beforehand where i broke it off.

 

this time she attacked me and i pushed her back then she throw a punch at me and i just hit her back after her making out with a guy infront of me. i'm never ever hit a girl in my life where girls think they can yell at us and hit us and us guys have to take it like society tells us. it's wrong for a guy to yell and wrong for a guy to hit a girl but if a girl hits a guy and yells at him it's fine?

 

she has over so many guys in her life cause she is unstable and being there for her own comfort and has done the same thing to me many times. in every relationship she always acts violent and in the end gets hit back. i know understand why and she blames it on the guy.

 

if a girl starts to punch into a guy, is the guy suppose to take it? we always here things regarding girls being abused but u never hear about guys being abused. oh wait, she hit me so it's okay but it's so wrong that i hit her back????

[Beec]

No, that's like saying manslaughter is justified. He chooses to hit her, he chooses to be disrespected. I have no sympathy for this man. Self control is a virtue, learn it, love it, do it.

 

Justify, it does not justify anything. It is very much like manslaughter, in comparision to murder, as criminal charges go. Both are crimes, manslaughter carries less of a sentence. Why? Because it has a lower degree of culpabilitity, even though it still penalizes the perpertrator for a crime. Hitting her was wrong. (I could see a few circumstances in which is might be right, but she would probably need to have a weapon threatening someone.)

 

The original poster should not have hit the woman. He should have taken it and walked off from her then and there vowing to nevver have her in his life again. However, when you have recently cared for her, that's not so easy to do. It is what he should do now.

 

And Layword, when you are sinless, begin casting your stones.

[Melbguy26]

when i did see her making out with this guy i couldn't move and had to sit down, felt dizzy. my heart was killing me. i couldn't breath. last week she said she wanted only me and wanted to go out with me again.

[Beec]

when i did see her making out with this guy i couldn't move and had to sit down, felt dizzy. my heart was killing me. i couldn't breath. last week she said she wanted only me and wanted to go out with me again.

 

What's done is done.

 

Please have no contact with her.

[L.J.]

How can it be JUSTIFY ??!!

 

FACT:

Three million women are physically abused by their husband or boyfriend per year. Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime.

[L.J.]

What's done is done.

mistakes still need to be acknowledged so they aren't repeated.

What's done is done... emotional scars last forever.

[Beec]

How can it be JUSTIFY ??!!

 

FACT:

Three million women are physically abused by their husband or boyfriend per year. Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime.

 

It cannot be, but neither can her hitting or cheating on him. Can it?

 

He should have left her long ago. Now, he needs to keep her out of his life permanently.

[Survictor]

This is not a loving relationship! It is thoroughly bad and for your sake and hers, I suggest you part immediately.

 

It seems neither of you have the ability to control yourselves.

[Layword]

 

You call me a coward Layword???? i think i would have been a coward if i just stand there and took it all again. she knows i won't hit her back!

 

Your a coward by every standard nature has. You hit a women well knowning she can't defend against you. Your a MAN your physically built and designed with nature's fist. I admit, wrong was done here to you, but you never lift a hand against a female PERIOD.

 

If she begins hitting walk away, be the man THAT I know you are.

[L.J.]

Please never resort to violence. Laying hand on her is wrong no matter how right you are.

 

-Men of peace usually are brave.

 

Nope. Her action cannot be justify either. Violence is not acceptable.

I loathe to imagine if a child hit him first.

[Bethany]

I don't always think that a woman should get away with everything but I'm sorry but knocking down/out a woman after running at a her and hitting her with full power in the head is not acceptable by anyone whatever she has done. And you certainly don't blame her for making you.

 

There is no excuse, none. You should have walked away but you didn't, you lost control and crossed a line. I am as sickened as the guy who watched such violence.

[Layword]

I don't always think that a woman should get away with everything but I'm sorry but knocking down/out a woman after running at a her and hitting her with full power in the head is not acceptable by anyone whatever she has done. And you certainly don't blame her for making you.

 

There is no excuse, none. You should have walked away but you didn't, you lost control and crossed a line. I am as sickened as the guy who watched such violence.

 

100% Agreed.

[Beec]

Folks, I would not recommend that anyone condone what he has done, and yes, I think he deserves to be chastised for hitting her. I don't think it's right or excuseable, I don't think Michael Vick should be excused for giving the crowd the finger this weekend. But, this post should not have criticism of him as it's sole topic.

 

However wrong he was, and he was wrong for hitting her, this is someone who's got an issue, a problem. He's had his heart ripped out and jumped on by someone who was extremely callous to his emotions, to him. What do you think he should do with regard to dealing with his problems from here on out, besides gaining some self control and not hitting women or anyone? He's had enough criticism, I think, so if you cannot suggest further action, or offer empathy or sympathy, let it go.

 

And I would hope the original poster would admit, he should not have hit her.

[sandyv]

Yeah thats all that should be said, she broke his heart in the most extreme way, although he should have walked away, what's done is done, and its time for everyone to just abandon the whole situation....

[Bethany]

Hi,

it did feel right after she did hit me and for what she has done 2 me!

 

Sorry but sometimes we need a wake up call.

 

I suggest that he take no further action in contacting her and keep far, far away from her.

[sandyv]

Hey Melbguy:

 

I do understand how you feel, my ex busted my heart in much the same way, and it is unforgivable... just let it go now, hopefully you never go through this stuff again..... it hurts I know....

[Melbguy26]

"just let it go now, hopefully you never go through this stuff again..... it hurts I know...."

 

i never would ever hit a girl. i would never ever have my thought in my mind... i'm still in shock over her being with someone infront of me and hitting me.

[L.J.]

Mel,

My posts is not a criticism. I'm making a point that your issue and problems encompass beyond her cheating. My suggestion is:

A) Refrain from violence. B) refrain from her C) move on.

 

It doesn't have to be in any particular order.

[sandyv]

Well Melbguy, I can tell you did something impulsive, I did too on Saturday night, I had to walk by my ex's place and he still has some of my jewellery, I stopped in, and he was at first friendly, then he said I looked slutty with what i was wearing, I almost slapped him, (glad I didn't) but I would have if he didn't move quick enough!!!! lol....

 

You will be ok.... don't bother with this girl... It can only hurt you more... you deserve better...

 

Yeah and forgive yourself for hitting her, you won't do it again to anyone right??

 

 

Hear for ya

 

Sandy