Was I right?

[Layword]

So, it's been about 4 months since I broke up with my EX. At first, after the breakup, I was very nice with her. I acted and talked with her the same way I would as if we were together. I was nice, curteous, sweet, and funny. But as time went by I couldn't ignore the fact that I was still madly infactuated with her. Subtley, I would tell her I still had feelings for her and even at one point out right told her.

 

I wouldn't talk about the relationship we had at all but once in a blue moon. When she told me the EXACT reasons why she did it, (She had been sketchy at first) I really took it hard. Turns out theres another guy she had feelings for. So eventually, I took it upon myself to talk to a few people I really trusted with advice. They told me to just outright not innitiate any contact with her. To not ignore her, wave when you see her where-ever, etc etc but to never call, or email, or what not.

 

Just before I innitiated NC I talked with her, and she broke down telling me to just move on. But everytime I see her she's always trying to flirt with me. And it's really pissing me off because I don't appreciate it. She was the one who broke up with me, and over none other reason then to be with another guy. I'm not going to tell her straight to her face to leave me alone, although I would love nothing more then to throw a tantrum I think I can be the better person here and just slowly, but surely, move on.

 

So after about 5 days of NC i'm just wondering if you think what I did was right? I'm doing things to keep my mind off her, but whenever i'm not busy she always creeps back into the back of my head. And I have to see her tomorrow, oh well, another day, another sacrifice, another life is born.

 

Comments?

[Captain34]

hmmm.

 

my best advice is to give NC more time and see what happens, i think its too early to tell.

 

if she does break NC, and i believe she will, dont be overly aggressive about things...but also dont be too passive. dont show your cards, but allow, and as the guy you should help catalyze some discussion. but id avoid outright flirting with her. if she contacts you and asks about your behavior, ask her about her flirting.

[this2willpa55]

my ex left me for the same reason, but i had to find out on my own. i initiated NC after a week of begging and pleading did not work. i will not contact him because i know his mind is not on me right now. his first priority is this new relationship and making it work with her.

 

i think you are doing the right thing by implementing NC. she may be leading you on just in case her new relationship does not work out. do you really want to be her backup plan? let her miss you, sort out her feelings, and you need to move on. maybe one day she will want to come back to you but hopefully you would be in a much better relationship.

 

that's what i hope for me as well.

[Layword]

my ex left me for the same reason, but i had to find out on my own. i initiated NC after a week of begging and pleading did not work. i will not contact him because i know his mind is not on me right now. his first priority is this new relationship and making it work with her.

 

i think you are doing the right thing by implementing NC. she may be leading you on just in case her new relationship does not work out. do you really want to be her backup plan? let her miss you, sort out her feelings, and you need to move on. maybe one day she will want to come back to you but hopefully you would be in a much better relationship.

 

that's what i hope for me as well.

 

I hate guys that treat girls like crap. If I was your boyfriend, and i'm not even kidding, I would have stayed with you through thick and through thin.

[kuhl282000]

Dude

 

Sorry for your loss, or was it really hers. As far as I'm concerned she decieved you by leading you on and having another guy secretly. If your going to play the game of love, at least play by the rules. Play Fair !

 

You have to look at this like removing a band-aid, you can either pull it off fast and outch.......or you can remove it slowly, and thats pretty painful.

Don't waste anymore time with this person, 6 billion people on the planet my friend. Some people come into your life and stay for a short period of time, some stay a little longer. But very few stay forever ....................

 

Remember the good times you had and leave it at that. She told you to your face the hard truth you did not want to hear. That would shatter the best of us, but she did tell you to get on with your life, I suggest you do.

As far as the flirting, just more head games, and who needs that. Be the bigger person, and give yourself a mental break. Life goes on my friend and so will you. You will meet someone again, just when you least expect it. It really was her loss........

 

Be Strong.......no contact, or you are just opening up the wound you are trying so hard to heal.

 

Kuhl

[Layword]

Thanks for your words Kuhl, and your advice Captain, I'll take it to heart.

[kuhl282000]

Layword.......

 

Just remember you are trying to heal, and save yourself from not bleeding to death. And the last line on your quote is totally incorrect. You will love again, many times my friend. In fact I'm willing to bet on it, and I'm not a betting man. But thats how sure I am. Stay busy, get a second job, makes tons of money, go somewhere different. Join a club, take up a new hobby. Do anything but don't give her another thought...not 1 second.

 

You just need time, time heals all. I dated a girl once for three years. We broke it off, it was not pretty. I had no contact for a year. And I remembered I left my trumpet in her attic, I called her.........she did not even hardly remember me or my voice. After I hung up, I laughed.

 

Hang tough good buddy, you will get through this........all the way.

 

Kuhl

[smiles21]

. I dated a girl once for three years. We broke it off, it was not pretty. I had no contact for a year. And I remembered I left my trumpet in her attic, I called her.........she did not even hardly remember me or my voice. After I hung up, I laughed.

 

wow females can be cold, I dated my ex for about 4 years, been 1 month NC. I can see her doing something like this.. somehow they get over it so much faster.

 

Why does it seem like girls can find guys so much easier than guys finding girls.. (At least at my age it seems, im 23.. ) Seems like a lack of girls or something. Im a pretty good looking guy, got a decent job, family.. and values.. still seems hard to find good girls..

[Layword]

Thanks guys.