Need Help Quick Before It's Too Late!

[RockNRoller]

I posted a similar question about a month ago but no one really gave me any advise. So I'll ask again in a slightly different way. There's this girl that I have had a crush on for almost 2 years now. A month ago I saw her mom at the store I work at. 2 Years ago I worked with her mom at another store and that's how I met this girl I like. But I have never spoken to her before. I know her mostly from her mom. And from the way her mom talked her daughter also had a crush on me. But at the time she was 17 and I was 19 so I didn't try anything.

 

Any way I saw her mom at the store and stopped to talk to her and she asked me if I was seeing anyone right now, I said no, Then she said that I should go out with her daughter, because I was a good boy and she liked me. I didn't tell her mom that I would or would not like to go out with her. Because I didn't want her to think her mom was the one trying to get me to go out with her.

 

I never see this girl at the store or anywere to ask her out. So it appears the only way to meet her and ask her out would be some what through her mom.

 

Here's the way I see it I could,

 

1.) The next time I see her mom ask her if her daughter is seeing anyone and if she say's no tell her that I was wanting to ask her out to dinner and a movie sometime but I never see her anywere to ask her. Then ask her mom for her phone number to call her and ask her out.

 

2.) Her mom told me were she lives. So I could go to her house and bring a cd of my new songs for them to listen to and talk to her some to get to know her. Then before I go ask her out. Or wait a few days and go back to her house or call her and ask her out. Because I'm afraid that were I have never talked to her before if I just come out and ask her out after onlt talking to her for a little bit she might say no.

 

If anyone can help me out in any way please do. I'm afraid that if I don't ask her out soon someone else will. And after having a crush on her for 2 years I don't want to let this chance pass by with out asking. I have only had one girlfirend so I new to dating and I'mlso shy. So that makes it a little harder for me. But if I can just figure out how to go about meeting her and talking to her I'm willing to overcome my shyness and just and just ask her out.

[mermayd]

How often does her mom come to your store? If it is on a pretty regular basis, I would suggest for you to semi-jokingly ask her mom to ask her daughter to stop by once in a while, or to bring her in next time she comes. If it is rare that you see her mom, that leaves the meeting at the house scenario. Do you think it would be akward for you to just show up after not ever stopping by before? If not, then I say go for it and talk to the girl for a while and ask if you can call her sometime. Wait a few days and then give her a call and see if she would be interested in going for coffee with you or something of that nature. If you think it would be akward to show up at her door, then I would go with plan A and just wait for her mom to come in next time. You could also just ask her mom next time she comes in if you could have her number so you could call her daughter and that way, her mom isnt really being the matchmaker.

[RockNRoller]

She's only comes in the store about once a month. Except this month she came in at the beginning and end of the month. She told me that she would start coming in more now that she knows I work there. Maybe she comes in more and I just don't see her. I'm a butcher so I spend most of my time in the meat room. But lately I've been walking out in the store more in hope that I will see her or her daughter.

 

I don't know if it would be akward to kust show up at her house or not. I have never been to her house before but I know were she lives. She told me that I should come up to her house sometime. So I guess she wouldn't mind me just showing up. But I would feel weird just showing up, because she may be busy or have company or something.

 

I believe waiting for her mom to come into the store and mentioning that I would like to ask her daughter out to dinner and a movie. Then asking for her phone number would be best. Then I could just call her and ask her out.

 

But the problem with that is I've never talked to her before. But I know she knows who I am. So do you think she would think it was akward for me to just call her and ask her out. Also when I do call her I'm not sure what to say. I've thought about saying something like, Hi this is ****** I don't know if you remember me or not but I was just wondering if you would like to go out to get something to eat and watch a movie with me sometime. When you're not busy and don't have to work. Then ask when she doesn't have to work and set a date for that day. Hopefully I don't have to work that day or I work a morning shift that day.

 

I'm sorry for all the questions, but I just don't want to let this chance pass by like I have so many before. And like I said before I have no experience dating at all. Except for my one girlfriend 6 years ago.

[RockNRoller]

I went to a grocery store in town today and I believe the girl I've been wanting to ask out works there now. I'm not positive on this because her hair color is different and she's a little shorter than I remembered. But than again it has been 2 years since I saw her last. But I remember every detail of her face and it is a perfect match.

So my plan is to go up to her when she's alone and ask her what her name is. And if it's her start a short conversation with her. Then ask her out on a date before I leave. Here's what I plan on saying.

 

Walk up to her and say in a friendly voice hi how are you doing. Whats your name? And If it's her say. I don't know if you remember me but I worked with your mom at ***** a couple years ago. She would reply with yes she remembers me or no she doesn't. But because of me recently giving her mom a cd of my new songs. Which I know she's a fan of I believe she would no who I am or remember me. Then maybe say the last time I talked to your mom she said you were working at *****. When did you start working here? She would reply. Then before I leave say would you like to go out to watch a movie with me sometime when you're not busy? If it's a yes then I would say can I get your phone number so I can call you?

 

So what do you guys think of my plan. Is it a good ideal or would I look stupid? Any advice is welcome.

And one more thing. It's been almost 2 months since her mom told me that she wasn't seeing anyone. So by now she could have a boyfriend. So if I ask her out and she say's that she has a boyfriend what should I say. I don't want to be standing there looking like a fool with no responce. If I do get turned down I now it's gonna suck. But I just want to be more prepared for it. I've been thinking that if I she does say she has a boyfriend. That I could say something like o' you do? Thats alright. Then just say bye in a friendly voice as I leave the store. Or if she just say's no maybe just smile and say that's ok. What do you think? I know most of you may think I'm over thinking this. But I have not had a girl friend in a few years and I just want to get it right and not look stupid especially if I get turned down, because you fell bad enough about that without adding something else to it.

[RockNRoller]

I recently saw this girls mom again and I told her about a new cd I had recorded and she told me that she'd like to hear it and that I should come to her house she said her husband and daughter has been wanting to her one of my new cd's. So I told her I would on my next day off thursday.

I also asked her if her daugther was working at the grocery store I thought I saw her at. She told me yes she worked there 3 days a week and goes to college.

Should I ask her out on a date when I go to her house thursday or wait until I see her when she's at work and ask her out? I really don't know what to do or how to do it. Because I know there's no way I'd get up the courage to ask her out at work, Because there's usually a few people always standing around her that either work there or are customers buying something. But if I could get her alone I would ask.

 

If I were to ask her out at her house I don't have a clue about how to do it. I know her mom and dad like me but it would be odd and very embarrassing for me. Or because her mom already told me once that I should go out with her daughter I'm thinking maybe she will mention something about or suggest that we go out on a date.

I'm not asking for anyone to give me the answer to get the girl and solve my problem. I just need some advice or ideas about how I should go about it, beacuse I have never been on a date or asked a girl out before.

[S4il]

I think getting her alone would be the best approach, like you said in the store, people are around, co-workers, etc...not really a good environment to be asking for a date/ but maybe an offer to hang out would be better. you said her mom has suggested you take her out on a date, i think that might be HER--Telling her mom to say that too you,

 

Your in good shape, Just play this out the best and same way you have, Going over to her house might be a little strange, being that you really don't know her to well, and she thinks you don't know where she lives.

 

Asking for a date:

 

well try something like,

"you know me and you should hang out sometime"

 

when not at work, suggest either Thursday, Or Friday...caution Fridays dates might make you come accross as "having nothing else planned" and seem desperate, Thursday (your days off i presume) would be a good idea to go get something to eat. pizza/Lunch i would stay away from a Dinner, lunch being more casual. but still keeping her mind and interest focused on what your intentions are. than work your way into a Date....like Movie, Zoo, a Baseball game, park, Hell take her fishing...ok maybe not. ( just ideas here.)

 

the words for a date

 

"what are your plans for (Add Day Here) "

 

that simple...than see what her response is. if she has nothing planned ask her for a date, that date consisting of something more than casual like the hangout thing. No pizza This time, Upgrade to a Dinner/date, a nice restaurant. one that has flavor, a good reputation...just to let her know your interested..take it from there, get the number at the end of the night, Or give her yours. wait for a call...you have this in the bag, Just Seal it.

[Mar]

If you want a nice approach....send her flowers or a teddygram first. That way you break the ice initially and don't have to feel awkward about it. You could include your phone number with a "I'm hoping you'll like these so much you'll call me and tell me" sort of line...

 

After that, give her a call, or stop by the house. I'd guess a phone call would be simpler, since you wouldn't have her entire family there watching. Just tell her that you were too shy to talk to her earlier, but that you've always wanted to see if she ever wanted to get together and do something. And say you're calling because you've finally gotten up the guts to do so! Ask if she wants to go on a picnic at a nice park or something......have a lunch planned, picnic basket and all (they're not expensive, and she'll LOVE the picnic basket) and have somewhere in mind ready. If she stutters about and kind of wavers on giving you an answer, leave her your number and tell her to just think about it, with the promise that she needn't feel awkward about it. Your gentlemanly approach will make her VERY happy, trust me! Send her a card that says something along the lines of how you're glad you finally took steps to approach her, and that you'd love it if she would spend an afternoon/evening in your company. Nothing too hard or pushy, (which, from what I gathered from your post, wouldn't be an issue, you sound like a nice guy) just something that lets her know you're thinking of her. From there, she'll have to take the initiative and call you back. Good luck, we're all rooting for you!

[RockNRoller]

Last thursday I saw her mom at the store and she told me that I should come to her house later on that day and have dinner with them and to bring one of my new cds with me for them to listen to. So I did but her daughter had a college class that afternoon and I got there just after she left. I ended up staying for about 2 1/2 hours though talking to her mom and dad and playing with her little 4 year old cousin. Her mom was baby sitting that day.

 

I saw her at the store over the weekend and was walking up to her to finally ask her out. Then 3 of her co-workers came over to her and started talking. So I just payed for my stuff and left. Now I have a new plan that I feel more comfortable with. Tell me what you think about it.

 

I know she works every friday,saturday and sunday so I figured I would go friday to the florist and get her some flowers and have them sent to were she works at. That way she'll no I'm interested in her. Then I wouldn't be as nervous going in and asking her out. But I don't know if I should write something on the card or just sign my name to it and leave it at that. Then when I get off work that day go to were she works and saying something like,

Do you like the flowers if I see them there. If not ask did you get the flowers I sent. Then tell her I've been wanting to ask you something. Would you like to go out to get something to eat and see a movie with me sometime when you're not busy. If Yes ask for her phone # to call her and set up the time and day of the date. Or should I just say would you like to go out to get something to eat and see a movie sometime when you're not busy?

What do you all think?

[RockNRoller]

I went to the store today with a friend of mine to ask her out. I got my friend to go in and ask her if she's seeing anyone and to tell her I wanted to ask her out. If she wasn't seeing anyone. Then have her step out side for a minute so I could ask her out. But it turns out she's seeing someone and not only that but they have been together for 3 years. Which surprised me, Because her mom said 2 months ago that she wasn't seeing anyone. I guess her mom doesn't know as much about her as she thinks. So I'm a little down now But I've went this long by myself so I guess I'll be alright. I no it's not the end of the world but anytime you ask someone out and get turned down you'll feel a little sad for a while. Especially if it's the first time you've asked someone out.

 

But I did get some good news. My friend said when she told her who I was she asked he's the cute one isn't he. So if nothing else at least I know she thinks I'm cute.

 

And if anyone has any advise on what to do to get my mind off it and feel a little better I could use it.

 

Thank You all very much for your help. If it wasn't for your post I would most likely have never asked and would always be wondering if I ever had a chance with her. Even though it's bad news for me I'm still glad I no the answer instead of what if.