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Girlfriend thinks im cheating..walked out


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Not usually one to ask for advice, but here I am right..

 

 

 

Anyway, I have been with my girlfriend since we were both 18, which is roughly 3 years. Last year I completed Commercial Diving school, and this October through December 15th I was lucky enough to pick up contract work at a U.S Navy base about 2 hours away. Basically I am in 40f degree water working anywhere from 3-8 hours a day (not counting decompression time) depending on depth, and it is a very physically and mentally demanding job, but I love it personally. I am however completely spent by the end of the day, and don't really feel like doing anything but grabbing a hot shower and going to sleep when I am done.

 

On to the point, I manage to make the 2 hour commute back home every day after I am done working to see my girlfriend. By the time I walk in the door I am exausted, but she is always worth the drive. Before I got this job we had a very active sex life, 1-2 times a day. After however, I can barely manage 3 times a week. She does not like quickie sex, so if its not 20-45 minutes she is not happy. I show alot of affection to her but by the time I get home the last thing I feel like doing is exurting myself for half an hour making love. I have tried to explain this to her, but she seems to think that because I dont have as much sex with her I must either A: not love her anymore, or B. be cheating on her with someone else. She has some fear that I am cheating on her, which makes me angry because I barely have enough time to sleep let alone carry on a relationship with another woman.

 

Well today, (thanksgiving of all days..) things came to a head. I found out through a call from my dive tender early this morning that the on-site job trailer had been broken into, and everyone needed to come back up to the job site and idenity what was missing/stolen. My $6500 diving helmet with another $2300 worth of camera equipment mounted to the top of it is kept in that trailer, not to mention drysuits, bailout bottles, and all my other dive gear. Basically my entire livlihood. Anyway, I told her that I had to go check, and she completely flips out. She says I must be going to have thanksgiving with my other girlfriend, which made me very angry, and I yelled at her and she ended up storming out of the house. I caught up to her right at her car, and she tells me not to bother to come over to her parents house for thanksgiving because she doesnt want me there. Before I left to check on my equipment this morning, I tried calling her cell phone but no answer and her parents phone is answered by them saying she doesn't want to talk..I thought about driving over but I knew by her attitude that that would probably be a mistake..

 

So here I am, I have 4 days off starting today, the longest i've ever had on this job, and I get to start it like this. Great. I am in my 20's and still do not understand women, and fear I probably never will. I guess I dont even really know what I am doing or asking on this forum, perhaps this is just more of a vent then anything else, well I guess thats it, thanks for reading that rant..

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I don't believe that it's over between you two.

 

She is just angered right now and feels insecure.

 

The best thing you can do is give her room to breathe and cool down.

 

Then call her in a few days and make sure you are affectionate (emotionally), tell her she is the only one for you, and how beautiful you think she is, etc.

 

Hopefully that will work out for you.

 

Hugs, Rose

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That's strange... why is she so afraid of you cheating on her? Is there something in her past that would make her so insecure? maybe something you did, or a previous relationship?

 

Let her cool off for a bit, and tell her you need to talk things through. she doesn't trust you at all... and if you've been together for 3 years, there should be a solid trust unless something's broken it. i'd reason with her, and tell her that there's nothing to worry about. But you can't have her accusing you of cheating, when a bunch of stuff was just stolen from you...

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That's strange... why is she so afraid of you cheating on her? Is there something in her past that would make her so insecure? maybe something you did, or a previous relationship?

 

Let her cool off for a bit, and tell her you need to talk things through. she doesn't trust you at all... and if you've been together for 3 years, there should be a solid trust unless something's broken it. i'd reason with her, and tell her that there's nothing to worry about. But you can't have her accusing you of cheating, when a bunch of stuff was just stolen from you...

 

To be honest, I have never asked about her past relationships. We met in highschool, so I would guess she went through the usual breakups and cheating that we all did during those years. Everything was fine until the point of having to commute to my job, literally after the 2nd day I got a "hey, you left at 7, why'd it take you so long to get here?" I could tell by the tone of her voice that like you said, she didn't trust me leaving out of town from day one. I have not done anything for her to be suspicious, and have never cheated on her. What I am seeing is a completely different part of her, and I dont know where it comes from. I have put alot into this relationship, and to see something jump out of nowhere like this to screw things up really, well, sucks.

 

Oh, and none of my equipment ended up being stolen, I would not be here typing if it had, but rather cursing like a sailor while trying to find it.

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Jealousy is a maturity thing. Maturity in the relationship, and with oneself. If you were in her position you might find yourself feeling the jealousy bug too?

 

That might be something you want to tell her when you finally track her down. Also, it sounds like you are pretty serious about this job, and pretty serious about this girl. But a two hour commute is alot! That is four hours of driving every day and your job is already EXTREMELY physically demanding. Could the two of you move closer to your job? Even if you asked her to and meant it seriously she might begin to understand how faithful you actually are.

 

Sorry she blew up sweetie. Let us know how it goes.

Sarah

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