Need your advice again...

[buba]

Just wanted to come back here for some comfort...

Two years since he left me, 10 months since our divorce was final.

I wanted to end it all, saw no hope in living.

I managed to survive...somehow...was hard. My old topic "help me, I am drowning" explains it all. I was depressed,unwilling to face reality without him and thought the pain will never end...

Still have those days when I am hunted by memories and regrets.

Still not in a serious relationship with anyone, still not ready.

Met someone new, liked him a lot( thank God!), but he declared to me recently that he is not looking for a relationship right now...just sex, heheh... I also sense that he was hurt in his previous relationship, has a bit of trust issues along with having a very busy work schedule, travel on weekends (he is is trying to save the world!) So, he's got plenty of charming qualities about himself and it's hard for me to believe that he is seing nothing more than a sexual object, when it comes to me. Not sure. Plus,unlike my Ex who was abusive and angry, this guy is very kind...God knows, may be I am just looking for exuses, cause I thought that I would never feel this way again...

The funny thing is, he tried for the whole six months to get me to go out with him, I wasn't paying much attention. Finally, I gave it a try and now It's just another kick in the teeth, cause I really like the guy. Should I at least be glad that he completely took my mind off my ex? And I mean it! Completely!

Should I play his game? His fantasy?This is the first time in two years that I am really attracted to someone, lol...wrong person again!

I am almost done with my Post. grad. degree(went back to school after my ex damped me, it's a good thing I guess), but this emptiness, this void, aaaaaah...I am reliving it again...

Should I stop letting him get away with " nothing more than a physical thing?" I just hate missing him when he is not around...and I do miss him. He is playing this "9.5 weeks" kinda thing...very intriguing in a seductive kinda way. On top of it he is an intellectual,very ambitious, smart and charming...I am attracted to him, there is this chemical reaction, my EX was the last one I felt it with and it was the whole two years ago!

To be honest with you, I am not sure if I am completely healed from my failed marrige, may be it's a good thing? To play his game? Be his fantasy without reality...Dunno. Confused.

But what am I to do with "missing him" part? I am getting attached emotionally.Scary...

If I end it, I'll be right back at square one...lonely, full of regrets about my failed marrige...ets.

So lost and really miss him today... I am afraid that I am up for another heartbreak.

Please, help me figure it out...

Should I end it before I get more attached?

Obviously, he is enjoying his "Power over me"...

[robowarrior]

Its a life lesson: 'never go into a relationship when your not ready', another one is never to go along in a meaningless relationship. If this guy doesn't love you back, it means you still have to learn that love has got to go both ways.

 

You are already with this new guy, basically i think its safe to say you moved on with your life. I think you've gone too far already to ask yourself the questions you have been asking in this thread, its like this. You can't force him to love you, but if he doesn't love you back then your in for more hurt. However i wouldn't panic just yet, since you are at this point already i would try to seduce him to be in a relationship with you, so try to steal his heart and make him yours because he sounds like a nice guy who is closing himself up to you because of the bad experiences in a previous relationship, if you however can open the gate and show him that you are a wonderfull woman who deserves to be loved, so that he can actually give you his love then you could form a couple instead of friends w/benefits. If it takes longer then 6 months before you two decide to get in a relationship i would bail out.