Advice

[Malek149]

OK, a few weeks ago my girlfriend asked if her friend could come with us while we were on a date, i said ok, well i later found out this girl is her "ex", and the first 2 times i was cool with it, well on the third time after we dropped her off, i told her i wasnt happy with us taking her cause she (my gf) acts like I'm not even there. Well, its been going on like this and she knows it bothers me. well, she (the other girl) went home with my gf tonight and she made some comments that were "suggestive" as to what they were going to do tonight so when i dropped her off, i was going to go in, like i always used to and spend some time with her, but she said her mom wouldn't like that (which i think was just to get me to leave) and wouldn't kiss me, just gave me a hug, and hasn'y wanted to be "physical" lately. I appreciate any advice.

[dpressedone89]

i see 2 ways to approach it.

 

1) you tell her that you are uncomfortable with her spending that much time with an ex and that those suggestions bother you.

 

2)you flat out ask if anything is up

 

it seems a little sketchy of her bottom line go with your gut instinct

 

-stitcheS

[DizzyDoris]

This doesnt sound too good im afraid. Just because its a girl, its still her ex.

If your girlfriend was doing this and her ex happened to be a man, i think your instincts would tell you what to do!

 

If i was really into someone, there is NO way i would want to take my ex along on our dates. I think she is being totally disrespectful to you. And her not wanting to kiss you or get physical with you, says to me that she's not as into you as she should be.

 

How long have you been together? If its a long time maybe you can talk this through and work something out? If its a short,new relationship pehaps you should cut your losses and find someone who will treat you better.

 

I for one would not compete with the ex, i would be off like a shot if my boyfriend treated me this way!

[Malek149]

Been together about 9 months, i think i'm going to call her on it, if she has a problem, i'll walk. Any further advice would be appreciated

[blender]

yes, set some boundaries for your own life.. have the self respect to kindly tell her, you are not "okay" with this situation, and it doesn't feel "right" for you, and if she gets defensive or upset, then you can kindly respectfully say to her:

 

"you have every right to spend time with whomever you want, I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what is "okay" for me and what isn't, and this just isn't "okay" for me...so if you feel the "need" to be spend time with your ex, then I'm sure you understand that I need to move on.. I'm sorry".

[Budman]

I think you should walk just because she doesn't seem to care about what you think.

 

No need to call her on it.

 

Be like:

 

Hey, you knowingly are spending time with an ex sexual partner than with me, Homey don't play that game, it's over.

 

Quite honestly, the reason I say that is because she KNOWINGLY KNOWINGLY kept things from you. All this time you thought she was a friend, and she did not tell you she had sexual encounters with this "friend"

 

Ex's are never friends, friends are never ex's. You never tell your current, well he's my friend, or she's my friend. You tell them, she is my ex.

 

90% of people will not let that fly.

[jilligirl]

What she's doing is as wrong as if her ex was a man.

 

I did have some thoughts, though, that maybe she brought the ex along because she wants YOU to get involved with the both of them, if you know what I mean

 

But if she's only hugging you in front of the girl, and won't kiss you in front of her, and won't let you into her house . . . then I'd say she's got a woman on the side.

 

Leave her!

[valenski]

I agree with jilligirl an ex is an ex, what shocks me is why the hell would your girl friend want to take her ex along on her date? Sounds weird and twisted to me.

[Malek149]

Thanks guys, i think i'm going to tell her that its me or her, if she doesnt want to choose, i will and she will just have to deal.