NC advice

[NCGoodfella]

How exactly do you NC when you are co-workers?

[Layword]

Been there man, easiest thing to do is just avoid eye contact at all costs. Don't speak unless spoken to, if you actully have to talk to her about work related issues NEVER smile and NEVER mention your relationship ever.

 

If she even tries to talk about the issue listen, don't interrupt if she tells you things you don't want to hear walk away. Don't look back, chances are your the one being dumped.

 

Let her know how hurt you are by not speaking to her. I bet there are plenty of girls out there that would want you. Cheers.

[annie24]

keep the relationship strictly at a business level. you don't have to avoid all eye-contact. in fact, I think that would make things worse and more tense. treat them like you would any person you are not interested in. if you see them in the hallways, say hi and keep walking. only talk to them if you have a business question, and you can't get the information off the internet or someone else in your office. don't gossip about them to your coworkers, and don't talk about your new sweetie in front of your ex loudly hoping to make them jealous.

[NCGoodfella]

I do have to go into where she is time to time, about 5-6 times a day at least. Thing is I tried this the first day and I could not resist she just sat there and stared at me the whole time. She is the one that broke this off wanting space. As hard as it is (almost impossible, I love her so) I am just trying to give her just that ](*,)

[annie24]

well, just go to where she is, but just go in and out, don't chit chat with her. just do your work.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

that is one of the reasons it is dicey dating co-workers! very hard to get away from them physically/mentally if you break up.

 

i think you have to have 'the talk' where you tell her is it best for the both of you to have as little contact as possible so you both can healthily move on, and then only when it is demanded by work needs. then go about your business.

 

it is very important to try to manage thoughts due to her close presense, i.e., give yourself permission to think about her for 5 minutes at day, but only AWAY from work, for a set time where you turn her off when the 5 minutes are over. and stop any non-business thoughts about her while you are at work and remind yourself you can think about it later.

 

this will help keep a mental wall around yourself while you are at work. try to get a routine going at work that minimizes physical sightings etc. too, i.e., don't hang out in areas where she is, park your car as far away from where she normally parks as possible, don't eat at cafeteria/coffee station or whatever where she is/will be.

 

it is hard to compartmentalize her because of your former relationship, but it is best to try to do everything you can to move her mentally into the 'work' box in the way you treat and think of her, and out of your 'personal' box mentally. it takes more discipline to do this, but your only other alternative is to seek another job, and i wouldn't do that if this job is very good for you, and she is not, just relegate her to the 'off limits' category, but it does take time...

[drum4god]

Dude,

 

I feel for you. That has got to be rough. When my current girlfriend broke up with me last January I would see her in church (we are both devout Christians), and I did everything possible to show I was O.K. I made sure I always looked my best. When I would see her I would just wave, and move on. Don't show you are bitter or mad. Show her you are have class. You don't have to go out of your way, but if you run into say hello, and move on.

 

One thing that will help is going to the gym. Going to the gym will make you feel good about yourself. When you feel good about yourself it will project to her you don't need her. It did wonders for me.

 

Dude, I know there is no easy answers. It probably feels like torture to see the girl you love everyday. But you have to be mentally strong, and tell yourself this is killing her just as much as its killing you. That is why you need to project confidence and do your best to show you are not a wreck.

 

One more thing, that is the most important. This is about you. You have to ask yourself, what is going to make you feel strong. You have be careful not to do anything with the hope of getting her back. That will backfire. Always keep in your mind. This is about you.

 

You are going to have crappy days, but if you tell yourself you are the prize and she missed out, you may feel better about yourself. There is alot of power in your mind.

 

Good luck man!

[NCGoodfella]

Drumgod,

Simply put that was exactly what I needed to hear tonight, I can't sleep or eat and don't want to go out at all. I know where she is and it is killing me right now. If I told you it was not getting to me I would be a liar. Your post helped a lot, amazing sometimes you need to look at things in a different light. I miss her so but thanks for the great words of advice, I need to try and follow them.