Hurt Dad or make money?

[Iceman26]

Recently my wife was involved involved in a car accident. Most important was that she was not hurt, though the car she had just paid off got wrecked.

 

The insurance adjustor told her she could either get 6600 and keep the car, or 8600 and not keep the car.

 

She had told her father (who owns his own auto repair shop) about her situation and he told her she should take the 6600, give him the car to fix and sell, and he would pay her the 2k difference. My wife accepted this offer from her father.

 

Prior to accepting this offer, she had posted her car on a website asking for 4k as is (still wrecked but less than 3k to repair it) and she received a few offers saying they would pay 4k for her semi wrecked car.

 

So here is where the dilemma is: Should she hurt her dad's feelings and sell the car for 4k, or should she accept the 2k from her dad and not hurt his feelings and take the loss in money?

[melrich]

Well how hurt would her Dad be? In fact more to the point, why would he be hurt if his daughter can make a better deal?

[New_Horizons]

Why can't she casually mention to her dad that she got a better offer? I don't see any reason why he wouldn't encourage her to go for it.

Er...is it a Porsche? I'm surprised someone would pay $4k for a semi wrecked car!

[Iceman26]

It would be hard to say how hurt her Dad would be.

 

He isn't that well off financially, and he just bought and moved into a new house and hasn't been able to sell the old house, so she feels that what she is doing is being greedy.

 

To give you more details on us, we just got married, have a baby on the way, and we too need the money.

 

No it isn't a Porsche, its an Audi. It really only has cosmetic damage. I think it is running just fine.

[melrich]

Oh I see. I thought maybe her dad was doing it as a favor. But he is actually looking to make some money out of it.

 

This is my personal view. I don't do business with family. I don't lend money, I don't borrow it, I don't do work for them, I don't hire them to do work for me.

 

I give them money, they give me money, I give them time, they give me time.

 

Otherwise you run into stuff like this and money is just not something worth falling out over.

 

If your wife made a commitment to her dad then I think she should honor it.

[annie24]

hey - that is a dilema, I am sorry I can't really help. Maybe just tell the dad that you found a better deal and will take the money. especially with a baby on the way.

 

i didn't know you just just got married! Congrats!!!! And congrats on the baby! that is awesome.

[Iceman26]

hey - that is a dilema, I am sorry I can't really help. Maybe just tell the dad that you found a better deal and will take the money. especially with a baby on the way.

 

i didn't know you just just got married! Congrats!!!! And congrats on the baby! that is awesome.

 

I think that she may try and do both: Ask her dad for a little bit more money, but give him the car at a discounted price.

 

Yes, we have been married for almost 2 weeks now. Thank you for your well wishes Annie, and thanks for your advice guys!

[annie24]

oooh! I misread.... she is selling the car to her dad who is having financial difficulties? I'd sell it to the dad then. I think it's better to keep things smoothed over with dad rather than pocket a bit more money. After all, her dad can babysit, and that will be invaluable.

 

I think melrich has very good points.

[Iceman26]

Well, his situation is a little more complex, some of his difficulties are self imposed, and as we are a couple just starting out I didn't think that giving her dad money that we could be using was very prudent, especially with a kid on the way.

 

As for Dad, well, he isn't really the babysitting type.

 

I agree with Melrich's point about commitment, but I am also concerned about me and her too.

[madcar52]

My first reaction would be to sell the car for the most money. Not because I am greedy:0) When you said some of his situation was self imposed...I couldn't help but feel resentful if I took a loss to someone who maybe doesn't really appreciate the kindess I am showing him or worse...is pitching me an idea becasue he figures it's an opportunity knowing he can make his money back and then some once it's repaired (he's in the car repair business, he knows what the car is worth)...at this point he should be thinking only of his daughter and baby on the way. Children especailly should not feel responsible for their parents well being. She made a commitment to her father...but why...was it out of guilt to help him out?? Just a thought..I've been there myself, that's why I am putting it out there...and no doubt thinking very negatively about her fathers motives.

[Iceman26]

She made a commitment to her father...but why...was it out of guilt to help him out?? Just a thought..I've been there myself, that's why I am putting it out there...and no doubt thinking very negatively about her fathers motives.

 

It wasn't out of guilt to help him out, it was just another option, and if he benefited from it on top of it than she was happy.

 

I see what you are saying, because I felt the same way. Why not talk his daughter into fixing it and selling it herself, with a new marriage and a baby on the way? I don't know.

 

Everything being said her dad is a good man, and she and I are financially better off than her parents and she committed herself to giving the car to her father.