A baby question . . .

[BornToResist]

That AFT test will come back abnormal for MANY reasons.

 

It came back positive on several of my sister-in-law's children...all of which are perfectly fine. Another woman I know ended up having twins, which also causes this test to come back positive.

 

When I went in for mine, they gave me a brochure thing that says the probability of it being wrong (very high) as well as the reasons.

[hosswhispra]

That AFT test will come back abnormal for MANY reasons.

 

It came back positive on several of my sister-in-law's children...all of which are perfectly fine. Another woman I know ended up having twins, which also causes this test to come back positive.

 

When I went in for mine, they gave me a brochure thing that says the probability of it being wrong (very high) as well as the reasons.

 

Beec, I would not worry about your friend's baby right now (until there is a more specific/sensitive test result--for example, from an amniocentesis). That AFP test caused so much unnecessary stress for my sister. Then everything worked out normal.

[melrich]

From memory the main problem with an AFT test is what it means. From memory, high probablility is still something like a 1 in 300 chance. Low probability is 1 in 15,000.

[hosswhispra]

From memory the main problem with an AFT test is what it means. From memory, high probablility is still something like a 1 in 300 chance. Low probability is 1 in 15,000.

 

Yes that sounds correct, melrich.

 

The actual probability of losing a baby due to an amniocentesis is 1 in 100. So if an alpha feto protein test comes back elevated and the MD says go get an amniocentesis, the mother has a greater probability of losing her child because of that procedure compared to the probability that the child will have Downs or another neural tube defect such as spina bifida.

[melrich]

So if an alpha feto protein test comes back elevated and the MD says go get an amniocentesis, the mother has a greater probability of losing her child because of that procedure compared to the probability that the child will have Downs or another neural tube defect such as spina bifida.

 

Yes. Again if my memory serves me correctly, an amniocentesis will only be advised where the probability is greater than 1 in 300 and/or the mother is over 37 or so.

 

I remember with our second and Mel told me that our probability of DS was medium and I panicked and I said "What the hell do you mean?" and she said don't worry it means like 1 in 3000 chance of DS.

 

As I said before, I really don't think they can tell you much at all at 12 weeks.

[BellaDonna]

So what does one say and do when a child with problems is born?

 

This is an issue I deal with in my line of work all of the time. My best advice to you would be to treat the situation like any other situation where a new baby is born. Do not be afraid to hold this baby. Don't seem reserved or anxious or sad. Be happy and excited for the couple, just like you woould under "normal" circumstances.

 

When new parents find out that their child has some kind of disability, there are a lot of emotions that occur. Usually there is some kind of grieving process. One of my co-workers has a child with mental retardation and she said what was hardest for her to let go of is the idea that she may never have grandchildren, her child would likely not get married, he would be picked on in school. She had to let go of the dreams she had about a perfect future for a perfect child. She said once she let go of that, she felt peace, and then she was able to love her child and accept him for who he was, and focus on his abilities and not his disability.

 

If your friends have a child with special needs, after they leave the hospital they will likely be referred to "early intervention" services, where a practioner will visit their home and help them learn activities that will nurture their child's development. They will be encouraged to play with their child, and use certain types of sensory toys. They will see their child learn and grow, and will take full charge of being that child's teacher, and that will be rewarding. The early intervention practicioners will give them hope and make them feel empowered because as parents they will have the tools to bring their child to his/her highest potential. They will see that their child CAN learn and CAN achieve.

 

Until they reach that phase of hope and happiness, they will likely be in a state of grief or denial when the baby is first born, and that is normal.

 

Here are some links that may help you understand what they are going through and what you might say to offer your support:

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BellaDonna

[Beec]

My source has revealed new information. New tests were conducted, and everything is normal.

 

THE BABY IS FINE! and still perfect as far as we know. It's been killing me for the whole week, and it's such a relief. It still kills me that I am not supposed to know, but I think I can deal with that for a little while longer. Of course, as a shot giver as soon, as I do know, officially, they are going to get crap for not telling me sooner.

[avman]

Wow, thats awesome news! I'm glad to hear it Beec. I'm sure they will tell you soon. Maybe they just want to get past the point where most miscarriages happen.

[BornToResist]

Great news!!! I agree with avman, or maybe they wanted to wait to find out what exactly was wrong, if anything.

 

That's such great news.

[hosswhispra]

My source has revealed new information. New tests were conducted, and everything is normal.

 

THE BABY IS FINE! and still perfect as far as we know. It's been killing me for the whole week, and it's such a relief. It still kills me that I am not supposed to know, but I think I can deal with that for a little while longer. Of course, as a shot giver as soon, as I do know, officially, they are going to get crap for not telling me sooner.

 

See Beec...I told you so

 

Glad to hear everything is good.

[BellaDonna]

My source has revealed new information. New tests were conducted, and everything is normal.

 

That's very good news!!!!!

 

 

 

BellaDonna

[Beec]

Thanks all.

 

I saw the baby's parents and older sister this weekend, who is three. It would have been tough, if I had not received word that things were fine before hand.

 

However, I'm still in the dark officially.