Giving Up

[Dating Coach]

It's funny how you always hear women wondering where the nice guys are out there that they want to meet... I have heard what a great catch I am, but I have not been caught yet...

 

I heard that same line 100 times when I was younger. It means, "I think you'd make someone very happy one day... just not me" It also means that you're not representing yourself well as someone whom would be considered "datable" to women. Instead you're representing yourself as the safe, loyal, available, friend.

 

In order to have these women view you as "datable" you need to represent yourself to women as someone who's interested in them as "boyfriend/girlfriend" and whom doesn't need her attention to get along fine with your life.

 

For more infor read the links in my sig

[Scout]

In all fairness to Diggity, perhaps my comment should have been directed at the "American women have a sense of entitlement" reference from Chillins. But the combination of both comments just left me feeling cynical about what the thread was going to turn into to. Another one about how women are high maintenance, unappreciative, and so on and so on.

[Dating Coach]

Friends?

[Scout]

Of course!

[Beec]

Another one about how women are high maintenance, unappreciative, and so on and so on.

 

Well, they can be. American women can ask for a whole lot. But, if you think that paying all the maintenance is going to get or keep you a woman, your kidding yourself.

 

A very sad part about American society is that we have basically neutered ourselves with regard to being male and female, except during the act of sex. Men are no longer supposed to act like men, in many ways, and women are not supposed to act like women. In the work place and school, etc., we are all supposed to be and act the same. Mothers and fathers are all the same, and who cares how many you have of each. This all strips of us our inherent masculinity and feminity, our male and female roles, except during sex. Ban most our sexuality and we will concentrate all of our sexuality on the one thing that remains: intercourse. Have we gone that far? I don't know, but it's coming close.

 

Be a man, however, and you will just clean up, until you find a good woman.

[Scout]

Well, they can be. American women can ask for a whole lot.

 

I think that's a very subjective opinion. And quite candidly, one I've heard echoed by websites that try to entice men to buy overseas wives. I always find it ironic that these same sites that talk about how demanding American women are urge men to get wives they have to literally pay for. Not saying you espouse that, Beec, but there are parallels with your comments and these websites.

 

As far as your comments about disappearing gender roles...I put up a thread about this recently, did you get a chance to comment on it?

[Chillins99]

Wow. Good stuff in this thread.

 

Terk, sorry to hear about your fiance. I know how you feel, not in that specific sense but generally. There are a few of us in the same boat.

 

Scout - I get the sense that you don't understand what the rest of us are talking about. Being a woman, your experience in the American dating scene is, of course, subjective and you see it from the female point of view. Beec, Diggity, they are right on. American women have developed this sense of entitlement, that they can judge men any way they want, pick them apart and expect to have every whim met or else those evil men just aren't worth their time. I see it on a daily basis. Men have become spineless automatons who sublimate themselves to women. In fact I have seen that this is the only way to have a stable, successful relationship with a woman in the U.S.: sublimate yourself to the woman. That is what married men I know say: "I just agree with her and do what she wants. That is how the marriage works out." Yeah ok. No thanks, I'll have a mind and will of my own, thanks.

 

Beec I am going to take a look at those sites you mention. Not to be a pick up artist, but because you are right. Women only respond to specific behavior and timing, and being the nice laid back cool/funny guy only works if you want to be their friend. If you want to be more, you have to be dismissive and not treat them so well. We see it time and time again, how the "bad boy" who doesn't treat women well (I'm not talking about abuse here, just not kissing their butts all the time and laying down the law as necessary) gets the girls, while the nice guy is at home playing with himself. And the best part is, women either refuse to admit that this is the case, or admit it, acknowledge it and then go back to getting hot and bothered for the guys that don't treat them well. I am going to start doing that myself. Why not? Even if women don't respond sexually, at least I will be treating them more in line with the way I view them.

[Scout]

Even if women don't respond sexually, at least I will be treating them more in line with the way I view them.

 

Which is how, exactly? In a previous thread, you described your feelings towards women like this:

 

Now I am so bitter and angry, esp at women and how demanding and ridiculous they are, that I am essentially giving up. I know this is true because now when I see a hot woman walking down the aisle or road I sneer and think "b****" instead of being attracted to her. Truth is, women need to realize that all because they have something between their legs that doesn't make them God's gift to the universe.

 

Are these still your feelings about us? And if so, would you prefer I no longer post to your thread, since also in your previous thread, you stated:

 

Females need not reply...no offense, it's just that you have nothing for me and as far as I am concerned you ARE the main problem.

 

I will refrain from any further posting on how to meet women you have things in common with, if you would prefer I, a woman, not bother. But it seems to me rather strange you're even wanting to meet a woman, since you so clearly loathe us. Perhaps Beec was right in a previous post where he noted you weren't looking so much for advice, but an avenue to vent. If one goes back through all your threads, one can see a clearly enraged, miserable, and hostile person. Who has decided it's the fault of an entire gender.

 

I seriously doubt a website on how to pick up women is going to help your real problem, friend.

[deejay74]

The problem has nothing to do with your age, looks, height, wealth, or women in general. It all has to do with your skill with women, you're ability to communicate with them. This is a skill which you can learn like any other and for info on that check out these free sites

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And if you have some loot go to link removed and link removed and get the DVD + ebook. At the very least get on the free newsletters. It's never too late to start at this, you can get very good in 6 months to a year of hard work and study.

 

this post isn't directed at you, heloladies, just wanted to use it as a reference.

 

if you don't mind, i would like to add my experience with dating and these websites, ebooks, etc.

 

long story short, i am a "reformed" nice guy. i, too, always complained and said the same things many guys on here, and everywhere else, have said: i'm attractive, have a lot going on for me, make good money, etc., etc but trying to rely heavily on those characteristics got me no where. i also did "nice things" for girls i was interested in. usually, this made me their friend. very rarely, it worked on someone, but like i said - RARELY.

 

now, i am not a jerk either. i am still nice, but not at first. or more specifically, i don't automatically volunteer my generosity. i've learned to take chances on saying or doing things (flirty things) and you know what? i've never gotten slapped in the face or offended anyone! i guess what i am saying is i haven't changed the person i am but i have learned a lot about how i was using my good qualities in the wrong way and why i was getting the results i was getting.

 

don't get me wrong, i am not some pick up artist. far, far, faaaar, from it. but what all those books and websites have taught me is more involved with human nature and interacting with the opposite sex. i have NEVER used any pick up lines from those resources and don't plan on it.

 

besides, do you know how many women have told me they're onto those books? especially the one by Neil Strauss - "The Game". You can't use those lines or techniques because the "secret's" out!

 

bottom line, take what you want from those websites but take a look at yourelf to figure out what you need to work on.

[avman]

This thread closed.