What does this woman want?

[kryptik0]

Hey guys n gals,

 

Finally I have a few questions for you. I have been lurking on here and wrote replies to some posts and realizing how wonderful this place is.

 

So, here it goes. I met this girl through our sports group (cant tell more for the need to maintain anonymity) and have known her for a couple of months now. We have been good friends. I was in a relationship when we first met, so my initial encounters with them were purely platonic. Then something changed. One day I just mentioned how I like a certain kind of food so much and she said she does too, and so I suggested we both go have some sometime (My other relationship was already over by this time). Then a week later she called me up and set up a time to go for the food. I had no idea until it was time that this was going to be a date. We had a grea time that night talking and eating together. Since then we have both taken each other on 3-5 dates and its been good. She also invited me to her place to hang out with her twice so far, so its clear that she's interested in me.

 

Now the important part. I am not from here (American), so I have inhibitions about initiating any physical contact, but on a couple of occasions, I tried putting my arm around her, and kissed her on the shoulder while we were at a concert. She did not back off or tried to stop me but has not responded or taken any initiative yet. Both times I was at her place, we hugged before I left, but no kisses so far except for a quick smooch I gave her one time.

 

I am so puzzled by the way she is acting. She seems to like me, and been spending considerable amount of time with me and I dont think she's seeing anyone else because she's pretty busy. Why would she not wanna show any physical affection, like holding hands, holding each other, kissing etc. She doesn't seem shy and even if she was, she could have responded when I touched her. I dont know whats on her mind.

 

What do you guys think? Is she only platonically interested in me? If she is why didn't she back off when I touched her. Is it too early to tell? Is she just testing waters? What is going on here?

 

In the meantime, I have stopped taking any initiative in this regard. I dont wanna touch her again because I dont wanna embarrass myself. Not until she shows some interest in this area.

 

Your opinions please

[Caterina]

Just ask her and she'll probably tell you. I sometimes wait because I want the kiss to be special...it depends.

[kryptik0]

Is that the only way to find out? I think I might want to wait for a while before asking *her*. I obviously like her and dont want to ruin it.

[Caterina]

Where are you from?

[kryptik0]

would rather not reveal that here.

[SkylinesTurnstiles]

Maybe shes just not very touchy-feely

 

Or you could just ask her maybe....

[Lansing]

I would say. DO NOT ask her.... It will make things weird if you ask her...

 

Just keep stepping things up a bit until she stops you.... If you invite her out to things and she is accepting, that means she is interested... Keep going out.. after you hug her, hold on to her a bit longer and look down at her and see if she is looking at your lips.. go for the kiss...

[Orlander]

When it feels right, make and maintain eye contact with her and tell her "I'd like to kiss you" then do it.

 

Truth is no one here knows what the right approach is. Only you will know, but you have to act if that is what you want and clearly it is. Dont worry about how she may or may not react. You'll know when try to kiss her.

 

I can say that you shouldn't wait too long. Good luck.

 

 

Orlander

[Dating Coach]

I would say. DO NOT ask her.... It will make things weird if you ask her...

 

Just keep stepping things up a bit until she stops you.... If you invite her out to things and she is accepting, that means she is interested... Keep going out.. after you hug her, hold on to her a bit longer and look down at her and see if she is looking at your lips.. go for the kiss...

 

Good advice right here.

[kryptik0]

Thanks for your advice guys, but now it doesn't look like this is going to go anywhere. We had set up a sports activity for saturday morning and she was supposed to call me about the time, she never did. On Friday I asked her what she was doing this weekend, and she said she had stuff to do both days. If she wanted she could have easily involved me in one of the things she was doing, but she didnt.

 

May be I am just overanalyzing, but since she has showed no interest in doing anything this wekeend and since I haven't heard anything from her, I am tempted to assume that she just wasn't interested in me in that way. So I am going to pull out completely and give her full space, and write her off for now as a potential partner. If anything has to happen now, she needs to initiate it.

 

I am going to keep on seeing her during group events and I have a feeling she'll probably act indifferent.

 

Anyways.

[Dating Coach]

May be I am just overanalyzing, but since she has showed no interest in doing anything this wekeend and since I haven't heard anything from her, I am tempted to assume that she just wasn't interested in me in that way.

 

No you are not overanalyzing. You are 100% correct. Her actions speak loud and clear. You're friendzoned.

[BrokenHeart82]

When it feels right, make and maintain eye contact with her and tell her "I'd like to kiss you" then do it.

 

Truth is no one here knows what the right approach is. Only you will know, but you have to act if that is what you want and clearly it is. Dont worry about how she may or may not react. You'll know when try to kiss her.

 

I can say that you shouldn't wait too long. Good luck.

 

 

Orlander

 

Orlander can I just say that besides giving sound advice you are a CUTEY!

[kryptik0]

Hey hey, dont hijack my thread,