Anal Sex

[applepie]

Anal is fun and, IMO, should be a regular part of the sexual act with a woman. I wouldn't want to have it all the time but once in a while, it's nice.

 

At the same time, it has to be done very slowly and gently to ensure she is not uncomfortable. The ironic thing is, depending on how it's done and with what woman, some really actually love it.

 

haha. I like the "should" part. Very amusing. I can tell you, most women do not enjoy getting poked in the bum. Some do, sure...but for most of us, it feels like taking a reverse dump.

[TiredMan]

haha. I like the "should" part. Very amusing. I can tell you, most women do not enjoy getting poked in the bum. Some do, sure...but for most of us, it feels like taking a reverse dump.

 

I agree but if the guy is into it, he should be with with someone who is too. There are women out there not into giving oral as well. I feel that should be a regular part of sex. If I was with someone who didn't like to give oral, I would leave her instantly. Same with the anal thing.

[booberry]

Anal is fun and, IMO, should be a regular part of the sexual act with a woman. I wouldn't want to have it all the time but once in a while, it's nice.

 

So long as your willing to get poked in the bum too

[booberry]

Would you really leave someone for wanting anal sex? if the rest of the relationship was good?

 

If this was huge part of their sexual appetite that we didnt agree on... yeah. its only fair to let them find someone who will fulfill those needs. People never put enough emphasis on sexual compatibility and it is a VERY IMPORTANT part of a relationship. Being open to the desires of your sex partner is important - you should be willing to give things a go at least once - but if you still dont like it and your partner still insists, its not fair to either of you.

[murfinsurfin]

One thing I have discovered about sex, Good sex makes your day, but anal sex makes your whole week (try saying it out loud to a friend). In my long life I have only done anal twice, I enjoyed it, but would not let a relationship die because of a yay or nay. I have never done it with my wife & it has been a very long romance. Sorry Tired Man your relationships sound like one where you leave a few greenbacks on the pillow in the mornig.

[booberry]

Sorry Tired Man your relationships sound like one where you leave a few greenbacks on the pillow in the mornig.

I can probably guess using the context of the sentence, but what's a greenback?

[spunkmaster]

I'm assuming he meant money, as in paying her.

[TiredMan]

So long as your willing to get poked in the bum too

 

If I was gay, then yes I would. I am just talking about natural acts if I am not gay.

[TiredMan]

Sorry Tired Man your relationships sound like one where you leave a few greenbacks on the pillow in the mornig.

 

No I just know what I want. My g/f now and I don't do anal now but we have I would say hmmmm 25 times?

[miserableme]

If I was gay, then yes I would. I am just talking about natural acts if I am not gay.

 

If it were natural, then the anus would lubricate naturally. It does not. But, I guess if it works for you and you have a willing partner, then good for you.

 

One other thing, I've heard if you do anal too much, you lose control of your bowel movements.

 

Has this happened to anyone here?

[TiredMan]

If it were natural, then the anus would lubricate naturally. It does not. But, I guess if it works for you and you have a willing partner, then good for you.

 

One other thing, I've heard if you do anal too much, you lose control of your bowel movements.

 

Has this happened to anyone here?

 

If that were true, then are you saying two men being together is unnatural then?

[miserableme]

If that were true, then are you saying two men being together is unnatural then?

 

I have no problem with gay men, first of all. That is their business, not mine. Again, if it works for them, that's great. But I do wholeheartedly believe that the act of anal sex is unnatural.

 

I don't think you can make judgement on this unless you have tried it yourself. Go an get a cucumber/dildo and try putting it up there (lube free) and tell me how natural it feels.

[TiredMan]

I have no problem with gay men, first of all. That is their business, not mine. Again, if it works for them, that's great. But I do wholeheartedly believe that the act of anal sex is unnatural.

 

I don't think you can make judgement on this unless you have tried it yourself. Go an get a cucumber/dildo and try putting it up there (lube free) and tell me how natural it feels.

 

You are saying that anal sex is not natural. Well, there is no other way for 2 men to have sex so if you are saying it's not natural, then you are saying being gay is not natural either.

[miserableme]

You are saying that anal sex is not natural. Well, there is no other way for 2 men to have sex so if you are saying it's not natural, then you are saying being gay is not natural either.

 

did you try what I suggested yet?

[TiredMan]

did you try what I suggested yet?

 

So wait, am I supposed to go give another guy oral too so I can say I think a woman going down is natural?

[avman]

Ok you two, please stop this and stay on topic.

[arwen]

Miserableme does not say that. I think she finds anal sex unnatural because it feels very different than vaginal penetration. What she adds is that you can't say anything about the feeling unless you've tried it. ANd if there is no partner to try it with, you can experience it yourself by using a dildo.

 

For me, I'd say that it is impossible to make an existential claim about anal sex BEING unnatural, however a PERSON can say that for him or her it can FEEL unnatural. If that is what miserableme means, I share that feeling.

 

My advise here: try not to generalize personal experiences to populations, and on the other hand, try not to draw gigantic conclusions from each others posts.

 

Ilse

[dawn515]

Well, I have to defend Tiredman here... really!

 

I don't think it's fair to say anal sex is unnatural because it isn't penile-vaginal penetration. That only brings up new questions -- is fellatio okay? is oral sex on a woman okay? Does it all have to be missionary position?

 

Anal sex can be very stimulating for some women. I've know a few! (And these were MARRIED women!)

 

But, not to give too much TMI -- I've done it a few times, including with my current bf, and, well, I'm just not into it. That's me. I have even asked him if he wants stimulation there (on the prostrate) when we have sex, and he says NO. I don't turn it into a "turnabout is fair play" situation, though I ask him about it from time to time, simply because I hear it can be VERY stimulating for a male. But if he says no, that's fine with me. He knows that I'm not into anal, don't like it that much, and he respects it. But I would never describe our forays into it as "unnatural." It's simply experimentation on what feels best. BTW, for whoever cares, he likes vaginal better -- he likes feeling me come.

 

Oh, and I still tell him I don't rule anal out COMPLETELY. Maybe again sometime. It's just another way of pleasuring one another. And, since a have a lot of gay friends, I don't like to hear the idea described as something horrible, that should never be done, because it's... "unnatural."

[miserableme]

Yes, maybe unnatural was the wrong term to use. What is natural these days anyway? Typing this on a computer certainly is not. Oral sex is not painful or uncomfortable for most people. I have no problem with that.

 

I did say clearly that my opinion of gays has no bearing on what I consider natural. I think if you are gay and that makes you happy, that's wonderful.

 

Some women do enjoy anal sex and although I don't share that view, they can do whatever they want.

 

I just want to mention that there has been an enormous increase in young women visiting doctors because of anal fissures since anal sex became relatively popular a few years ago. I've never had one myself but I hear they are quite painful. I personally believe that there is something wrong with this, not to mention the heightened chance of contracting an STD.

 

Tiredman- I realise that we have very differing opinions on this matter and I'm not trying to cause a fight with you. I would be happy just to leave it at that.

[dawn515]

Miserableme,

 

Point taken. I understand that you don't think it's inherently unnatural (for men or women, right?)

 

 

I just want to mention that there has been an enormous increase in young women visiting doctors because of anal fissures since anal sex became relatively popular a few years ago. I've never had one myself but I hear they are quite painful. I personally believe that there is something wrong with this, not to mention the heightened chance of contracting an STD.

 

I have not heard of this increased frequency on anal fissures -- is there really? Do you have stats?

 

I can understand that problem happening if it's not done right. The rule for anal sex is "If it hurts, it's not being done right."

 

And you can contract an STD no matter how you do it -- that's why you ALWAYS use a condom. I agree - anal sex can be risky because of the risk of tiny tears and blood, so that's why condoms are so important! Same for women having sex with infected partners who come in them; same for men who have sex with women where blood (such as menstrual blood) might be present.

 

Always a risk.

 

But I didn't think we were talking about that? Any discussion about sex can go on to the the risk of STDs. Plenty of threads for that.

 

I think what started this was your comment on the anus not lubricating itself. If it did, it would be "natural," and since it doesn't, then it's not "natural."

 

So, I suppose the only "natural" thing is penile-vaginal sex? Just a question. No disrepect.

[jsx730]

So, I suppose the only "natural" thing is penile-vaginal sex? Just a question. No disrepect.

 

Pretty much...

 

Is Anal/Oral Natural? No. Is it wrong? No way!

 

Nature intended for a man and woman to have vaginal sex in order to reproduce. Thats it.

 

Not that I think there is anything wrong with homosexuality (because there's not), but to each their own. But as far as "natural" goes, I don't think it is.

[miserableme]

You know what? I could try and say what I've said over and over again and none of you people would try and see it from my perspective. Because of that I'm taking my business elsewhere and I have no desire to be a part of the ENA community any longer.

[dawn515]

You know what? I could try and say what I've said over and over again and none of you people would try and see it from my perspective. Because of that I'm taking my business elsewhere and I have no desire to be a part of the ENA community any longer.

 

I am sorry if I offended you! Truly, I did not mean any disrespect.

 

Besides, don't listen to me. I'm not a regular poster on ENA anyway!

[Jeremy_Z]

Go slowly and use plenty of lube.

[dawn515]

Pretty much...

 

Is Anal/Oral Natural? No. Is it wrong? No way!

 

Nature intended for a man and woman to have vaginal sex in order to reproduce. Thats it.

 

Not that I think there is anything wrong with homosexuality (because there's not), but to each their own. But as far as "natural" goes, I don't think it is.

 

I personally think that opens up a big, fat can of worms. I could ask, "Is it 'natural' for humans to enjoy sex, to find ways to turn each other on? [in order to reproduce, as you say]" Then the answer could be yes -- but, then... we're limited to ONLY penile-vaginal to turn each other on? So... my boyfriend going down on me is not "natural", even if it helps me get "ready" (you know what I mean) for intercourse?

 

I think you can anticipate my next question... If he "gets me ready" with fingers or tongue (oral), it's not natural, because "natural" is only direct penile-vaginal sex? Sounds very uncomfortable! I think so-called nature allows for a variety of sexual acts that turn people on to have sex, and thus it's unfair to call oral/anal "unnatural" because it doesn't result directly into an act that can lead to reproduction. People need to get turned on, and there are a variety of ways to do that (obviously).

 

I personally would hate to be with someone who would not help me get lubricated before intercourse and just directly get to it because anything else is "unnatural." That hurts!

 

[i know you said you didn't think it was morally wrong -- just had to pick on the "what is natural" thing and had to disagree.