Question About Future

[tara3720]

Hi Everyone,

 

First of all, thank you to everyone who has given me such great advice. I'm doing SO MUCH better. I'll be honest and say I feel pretty hurt and angry over everything that's happened, but I realize it's for the best. My ex focused on my faults, and not on how much I loved him and showed it too.

 

He may be already off with a new girlfriend, I don't know, but you've all reassured me to be glad it's just not me. I have vivid memories of the times where I'd make him angry, and he'd make me leave his home, not care if it was midnight, if I was drunk, he'd just make me leave then ignore me. I remember sitting in my car, sobbing, texting him to let me back in, but he'd ignore me. I realize now that no matter what I did to annoy him, that his behavior was wrong and cruel. Anyways, I'm just venting about that.

 

I came here to ask if what I'm feeling is normal right now- I see so many of my friends in happy relationships, and MANY are married or going to get married. At the moment, I just don't feel like going out and meeting people yet. Am I letting opportunities go to meet the right man when I don't go out and "explore what's out there"? I'm 23, and I know I have a lot of time, but it makes me feel down when I see so many people around me in happy relationships. Is it ok to just not be looking right now? I'm attractive, athletic, have great goal in life, but I feel discouraged sometimes. Will that time come when the right man will come into my life?

[RayKay]

Hey honey,

 

I know how you are feeling, trust me in time you will appreciate more and more how good it is he is gone. It really sounds like he was emotionally abusive, and right now part of your pain is also a reaction to that. Give yourself time to heal, and I guarantee one day you will be GRATEFUL he let you go, I promise. I was in very similar shoes...an ex of mine used to be angry at me for being me, if he was rude to me, it was MY fault and so on. It sucks, but it gets better once you stop blaming yourself and realize what a jerk they really were.

 

As for the second part honey, take your time. There is no rush..things happen when we are ready for them. It is DEFINITELY ok not to be looking, it is DEFINITELY okay to give yourself some time to heal, and I will DEFINITELY say that the time will come when the right guy comes along. And I will also say that the right time will be when you ARE ready for it, and not a moment sooner.

 

Honestly, don't live according to how others are. Great, some of them are in happy relationships, and some of them will work out long term, some of them won't though, and some of them have more going on behind closed doors you don't know about. That is why you cannot live according to the path others chose, it just does not work.

 

Work on YOU right now, and I promise that things will happen when they are meant too, and when you least expect them too as well

[tara3720]

Raykay,

Thank you so much for your reply. It really helped. My ex either has a new girlfriend ALREADY or is being stubborn and waiting for me to come crawling back. this time I won't. That's a promise. Who knows if after 3 years I'll ever hear from him again, but as you said Raykay, soon I will be so grateful that I am gone from a situation that most of the times, just made me hurt, sad, and miserable.

 

Thank you for giving me all those great points about others' relationships. I can't compare myself to anyone else, great point. It's so true we have no clue what could be going on behind closed doors. The most important thing I just realized is to be comfortable with myself now, heal my heart, and as you said, the right man will come along at the perfect time.

I feel good today. =)