Which on to choose?

[jrowland]

I have a bf of 3 years and we used to really love each other and act like we went out. Now, 3 years he changed completely and acts like he could care if i was ever around or not. This other guy that has always liked me for about 8 years has came around and i have really began to like him alot. I talk to him all the time and when my bf calls i always get off the phone with him to talk to this other guy. I am not sure if i am just bored with my bf or if i should break up with him and start something with the other guy that is the nicest, sweetest guy ever. My mind wants to let my bf go but he has a big place in my heart that won't let go, and i do think what if i break up with him and want him back and it is to late, or should i pull myself away slowly. I used to be with him everyday but now i hardly try to go see him so i think i am trying to pull away slowly but it is the right thing to do. I try to talk to him about it but he just tells me i am stupid and nothing is wrong or he will change and it lasts for a week and gone. He also, wants me to tell him what i want and then when he does it i know it is just because i told him to. I don't know what to do

[eclipse]

Hi J,

 

If you think you two are becoming distant and feel there's not much hope for the relationship, then you should end it. It makes no sense to be in a relationship that just isn't working out. I know you do have a history but you sound like you are ready to leave him. On the other hand, you do have this guy you like a lot, but don't jump into one relationship from another. Give it time and don't use this guy as a rebound, be friends and get to know each other before you take the big plunge into another relationship. You sound like a very passionate person so you shouldn't have a problem being with this guy you've known for eight years, just don't rush it.

[autumn]

Believe it or not, this is the thing my woman is doing right now with me. I think it's unfair of her,...she has unresolved feelings from past relationships. Then your man gets caught off guard and realizes he may not be where he was, or may be losing a good thing. Then confusion sets in, - you don't know where you stand with your woman anymore. You promise to change, but can't change things quickly enough.

My suggestion...work on your existing relationship first. If it won't work and you can't go on, then deal with that. Don't use one as an excuse to do the other. Don't compare. You'll end up going in circles. This is unfair to your relationship. And you could be setting a precedent for the rest of your life. Correct that now.

Do you tell your old friend about your present relationship? Do you complain about it, or tell him what you're missing? He'll try to capitalize on that, don't be fooled. This is his way in...what can he provide you for long term happiness?

[jrowland]

I want to thank you both for the great advice. Well, I have talked to my bf about everything and so far things are getting better between us, I do still talk to the other guy but as friends only. Thank you