Am I being overly judgmental of men??

[BrokenHeart82]

Ok a question...

 

I was in a long term relationship for 7 years..we were even engaged for 2 years...finally it ended. I am the one who ended it after realizing that what I felt for this man was friendship. After about 6 months we were able to become friends and we talk occasionally.

 

I have been single now for a year and a half. Im an attractive and successful woman and I dont have trouble getting a date...in fact sometimes I am "weirded out" by how easily it seems for me to seduce a guy into liking me...

 

The problem lies in once he likes me...I get bored...I think im afraid that itll become long term and wont be perfect, though I know that no relationship is perfect. I think im afraid of ending up spending another 7 years on a dead end.

 

Sooooo I have become a self defeatist...I push men away...I nit pick...I find fault with them (i got royally pissed once because a guy i dated for a few months helped himself in my kitchen and i sia dhe didnt respect my space)

 

My question is how do I draw the line between a guy not being right for me and me being too picky?

[Day_Walker]

Well I would say that if you are acting in that fashion then you dont have realistic expectations of men. Yes you can be judgmental about certain things but if you are disqualifying every man you meet then that would be a problem. I think you need to remember that you dont need to have another 7 year relationship that goes no where. In fact I would say if after 1.5 years you arent happy with the relationship then you end it there and move on.

[Dating Coach]

Then you haven't found the right guy. You could go through a hundred and not find the right one. You clearly aren't challenged by any of these guys. You are a high powered, successful, strong, independent woman and I think you need a very strong, secure, adventurous, and fun man to counter you.

 

You'll find him.

[Dating Coach]

Well I would say that if you are acting in that fashion then you dont have realistic expectations of men.

 

I don't know if I buy that. I think she knows that no one is perfect, she just needs an equal... a challenge... someone who will make her work and make that work exciting.

[BrokenHeart82]

I feel like I find their weaknesses and go after them...then once I push them away...i chase them...but by then its too late because they probably think im a mean *****

 

Im looking for alot of things...I want a gentleman which is hard to find...I want that guy who opens my car door. I want a romantic who sends me cards/flowers (because I like to do that kind of thing for the right guy)

I want someone who is affection, kisses, holds my hand, tells me im beautiful.

 

I also need someone who is eloquent, good table manner, not overly sloppy, dresses well...the list goes on

 

Recently I found a guy who fit my bill but it was missing in the bedroom, i brought up THAT issue, hurt his pride and he left...this was the first guy i couldve seen going the distance with. Now hes with someone else and im worried that even if i find another great guy ill push him away somehow too.

[Dating Coach]

Broken, don't settle. You'll find him. Stay strong.

[holyohio]

Im looking for alot of things...I want a gentleman which is hard [for me to be attracted to]..I want that guy who opens my car door. I want a romantic who sends me cards/flowers (because I like to do that kind of thing for the right guy)

I want someone who is affection, kisses, holds my hand, tells me im beautiful.

 

 

you need to align your expectations of a man to behaviors that are attractive to you (not only on paper, but in a subliminal...human instinct kind of way)