Help, what is she really saying?

[terk2021]

I have posted here a few times about my situation. My fiance postponed our wedding 3 weeks prior to it. A month later, I asked her to move out. Since, we have been on and off again. She asked for a break, I gave it to her. One week later, she broke NC and said she missed me and made a mistake. I started thinking we were getting closer. A month later, request for break through the end of the year so she could figure things out.

 

We have still been in contact for various reasons. I have broken it a number of times. She says she still loves me, but does not know what she wants.

 

I sent her an email yesterday stating that I still loved her, and I will start respecting her space and NC until the end of the year. The email I got back said that she did not love me like she used to... I emailed her back and thanked her for her honesty, and I asked her to repay some of the debt that I paid off for her out of respect.

 

During our relationship, I helped her out financially. I was doing it for my fiance, not a girl I had just been dating for a few months...

 

She called me and we talked for an hour. Many of her friends I met during our relationship have become my friend, and have been there for me through these tough times. She was mad that her friends were talking to me, and not to her anymore.

 

She said she sent me the "dear John" email and told me she did not love me that way anymore, because she simply wanted me to stop calling... I know that's what I need to do. She said that in fact she is still in love with me, but just does not know what she wants right now...

 

Am I wrong in asking for money back? She is definitely confused right now, and I have been fighting a battle I have no control over. But she says she is still in love with me???

 

I am going NC for the rest of the year. I have been weak, and letting my heart lead me as opposed to my head. Mixed signals coming from her left and right...

[ILovePasta]

Before you get into the money issue, do you have any insight as to WHY she is feeling this way? How was your relationship like? Postponing a wedding 3 weeks before it's set to go is quite a statement, imo.

[terk2021]

She was married before, and said she was scared... She did not give a time frame for setting a date, and after a month of that, that's when I asked her to move out.

[Scout]

As soon as you brought up money, she contacted you and distinctly changed her position from "doesn't love you the way she used to" to "still in love with you."

 

Based on your other threads and what you describe here, her feelings are not there, friend.

 

You say everything was perfect in the relationship before you two broke up. But people don't just out of the blue exit a perfect relationship. Are you sure you aren't acknowledging problems or issues that were there?

[Jayar]

You will not get your money back if you go to court. Legally she owes you nothing if there was not a contract in place (and of course there wasn't since she was your fiancee). But morally? Yeah if she was any kind of a person she would give you your money back. She just doesn't HAVE to.

 

Oh, and regardless what she says, she probably still isn't in love with you and almost certainly doesn't want to be with you anymore. She's waiting for you to leave her alone. Women don't want space from men they love. They just don't.

[vesper]

Women don't want space from men they love. They just don't.

 

ummm. disagree 100 %.

 

This is coming from loads and LOADS of experience and I have to say that the above is bad advice. Sorry!

 

 

Its not only a good idea to take some time away from your partner once in a while to sort out your head , its **essential.

 

 

If someone asks for SPACE. give it to them!!

 

xxx